Who Will Cry For The Little Girl
by AJDAngel
Summary: "I once wished that I could be normal like all the other girls; so pretty and carefree, not having to worry about anything in the world. I should've known it would never happen to an idiot like me after all the things that I've done." I don't own Shugo Chara. All it took was one night to change everything. If only she could have silenced that little girl inside of her sooner.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you resent them?" A monotone man with dark raven hair typed attentively on his keyboard. "Who?" A meek, petite girl with a dazzling beauty unbeknownst to her questioned the older man's thoughts. She was sitting in an awfully bland office room on a pullback chair.

She stared up at the ceiling as if it would tell her the answer. Her life was not well but, she had only herself to blame. "Your parents, do you resent them?" The meek girl lowered her head in thought and pain. It was confusing, but there lied only one answer. The monotone man's typing finally came to a stop pausing for an answer. The girl lowered her eyes sadly with a mist forming and replied softly. "Yes."

It was 5 A.M. and she had already woken up drenched with sweat from the previous night of horrendous nightmares. An 8-year-old girl was laying down in her twin-sized bed under her fluffy pink blanket. She laid on her stomach staring intently at her alarm clock. 5:01, the digitalized numbers read. The girl decided to lie down for a while longer watching the time fly by.

When it had finally reached 5:04 she rose up from her bed staggering to her dressers for her uniform. She'd had to adjust the size of it the other day for the 50 pounds she'd gained during the 8 ½ months she'd attended Seiyo. Dragging herself to her mother and father's room to fetch their clothes to be ironed, she could see their serene faces as they slept. She tiptoed as she slowly opened the door making sure to wake anyone. She grabbed their clothes and headed to her little sister's room right across the hall. Running downstairs, she laid the ironing board down and began her tormenting strokes with the iron against the clothing.

By 5:45 she was done ironing the clothes, had wiped and polished everyone's shoes, and has started breakfast. The aroma of eggs, bacon, grits, toast, and sausage filled the air as the girl hovered proudly over her work. As she admired her work, a groggy yawn- identified as a female's- almost caused her to jump out of her skin. "Amu-Chan, the next time you want to get things done early could you be less noisy about it." The woman came down the stairs still in her PJ's holding the railing and another hand rubbing her eyes. The woman dropped herself onto the living room couch lightly sniffing the air. "Yes, Midori-san." Midori sniffed the air again getting in all the scents of the food on the stove.

"What're you making?" Amu smiled inwardly as she picked up the last contents of food onto a plate. making her way over to couch, she handed it to Midori. "I made breakfast for everyone and your clothes are hanging on the chair next to the closet." As Amu spoke Midori grabbed the plate from her daughter and greedily smacked on the food without so much as a thank you.

Amu scurried up the stairs already used to the treatment and clutched her side feeling her latest bruise rubbing mercilessly against the fabric of her nightgown. She entered her room and immediately stripped herself of her nightgown and leggings. She pulled up her red plaid skirt and accessorized it with her signature chain that held a small box for her guardian characters that were still sound asleep.

Her leg warmers and button down white shirt were laid out on her bed along with her untouched sketchbook. She hadn't drawn in it since she was 4-years-old and wasn't planning on trying again. Amu put on her shirt and buttoned the 8 buttons perfectly lined on her shirt. Slipping on her black jacket she pulled up her black boots not even wasting her time to fix her hair.

It was a matted, tangled mess she gave up on trying to fix. Exiting her room, she headed to her little sister Ami's room. Opening the door, she could see the four-year-old girl yawning and rubbing her eyes. A spark of jealously lit Amu's eyes quickly going away. She picked her up out of the bed and sat her down on a chair. She put the little girl's school clothes on and gave her her backpack.

While brushing her little sister's teeth her mother entered the room. Leaning against the door of the bathroom, Midori fixed her eyes towards Amu. Her perfectly creased skirt and folded button down shirt gave her an intimidating business look. Amu snapped her head around facing her mother with fear twinkling in her honey eyes.

"Amu, I need you to baby-sit Ami today after school for me. Ami's father and I have plans for tonight."

With a twist of her twist of her heels her mother exited the room and out of the bathroom prancing down the hall making an echo with the clicking of her heels. Tiny hands began to cover her tantalizing eyes as the outline of her mother faded. "Don't worry Nee-san, I'll be good." Amu smiled at her little sister as she stood on the stool to use her mouthwash. By the time everyone was heading out of the house it was 7:05.

Ami-Chan's school bus had already arrived, Midori and Tsumugu had driven to work, and their eldest daughter had already began walking to school. When she finally reached the school, she realized she was fifteen minutes early and decided to walk around a bit more. Heading towards nowhere in particular, she took a moment to feel the warmth of the Humpty Lock around her neck. It was early winter and all the trees had shed their leaves.

Out of carelessness, she'd forgotten her scarf and winter leggings. No wonder her mother had given her a skeptical look before she left. Amu stood under a tree praying for warmth and hoping not to succumb to pneumonia. Closing her eyes she could feel a presence hovering over her. It only took her mind a couple of seconds to register who it was without her eyes open.

"Ikuto…" Even if her eyes were closed, she could feel his genuine smirk playing at his lips. "You rang?" Opening her eyes she could see the boy hanging upside down from a tree branch staring intently into the pinkette's eyes. He wore a light gray jacket that clung to his sides in a masculine way, khaki corduroy pants, and brown loafers. The intensity of the stare caused Amu to feel uneasy. "W-What?" He smirked as Yoru crept closer and closer to her ear. Ikuto came closer to her face until he was about an inch apart from her. Amu foolishly blushed harder. Just when she thought he was about to kiss her, the pinkette felt a sharp pain nipping at her ear.

"Ouch…oww…oww." The pain began to settle as Ikuto and Yoru snickered on. Embarrassed, she began to walk hastily towards the building holding back tears that threatened to escape. "Amu-Chan, are you okay?" Her blue chara Miki looked at her through her plaid pocket pouch_. 'Yea, now you wake up.' _Wiping a tear, she nodded and walked through the gates of Seiyo Elementary. Her usual fans watched her in admiration with a few shouts of 'Cool N Spicy' ringing through the crowd. Finally meeting up with the other guardians, the bell for class rang. Sighing, the pinkette couldn't wait for the day to be over.

It was late, almost evening and the guardians meeting still had yet to commence. Amu's eyes wandered over to her wristwatch. 5:38 PM. She'd have to hoof it today since she'd already missed the bus. Personally, Tadase was really aggravating her today. During class he kept trying to get her attention and now she was freezing her butt off as he jabbered on about tedious guardian work.

"CD's with black diamonds adorned on the cover have been our lead to the mysterious activity throughout the school I…"Unconsciously, Amu began to silently drum her fingers against the table in impatience. The other guardians must have also been getting antsy because Yaya began stretching inconspicuously (almost hitting Amu every time), Kairi kept readjusting his square rimmed glasses and closing his blue orbs tiredly, and Rima…well, she was just being Rima.

She sipped slowly on her hot cocoa like a true princess. Behind her flawless façade she was a mean, nasty beast on the prowl. But, for some reason everyone seemed to adore her. Even when Amu tried to be kind to her she'd snap at her and tell her how useless she was as a Joker along with Kairi. It seemed as if nothing had been going right since her best friend Nadeshiko had left without a formal goodbye and Kukai had graduated.

"…and Hinamori-san will team up with Mashiro-san tomorrow. I'll be analyzing the CD's while you guys are investigating their activities." Across the table Rima had slammed down her cup resulting in hot cocoa sloshing out on the table in tiny sprinkles. "I can do it myself."

Nodding his head, Tadase scribbled something down on his paper. "And you're fine with this Hinamori-san?" She nodded her head in agreement as he walked out with his chara Kiseki hovering nearby. It was not a question of concern but another correction on his checklist.

Kairi and Yaya followed in suit along with their charas Pepe and Musashi. As Amu was about to leave, a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"You know, when I joined the guardians I thought it'd be more organized and straightforward with their message. I guess they hadn't expected such a failure of a Joker." The petite blonde sashayed past her flipping her hair.

The pinkette couldn't understand how someone so much more lucky and beautiful as her could be so cold. How could Kusukusu be her chara? Tears threatened again for the second time that day with more force. That girl made her blood boil but, there was nothing she could do about it.

Not wanting to waste anymore time dwelling on the negative, Amu began a jog like sprint to Ami's aftercare program.

_Why are you even trying? You're too fat to run, much less jog._

**Shut up, I can try at least. **

_You can but, you'll die in the process with flab hitting you in the face all the time._

**I wish you guys would go away! **

_We're apart of you Amu. Shouldn't you know that by now, I swear you can be so-_

"Stupid." "Amu, are you alright?" Amu's charas peered out of her pouch with similar concerned expressions. The pinkette formed a half-hearted smile. "I'm fine you guys don't worry." Ran popped out of her safely held egg and pink pompoms appeared in front of her almost immediately.

"Amu-Chan wouldn't it be easier if you just chara changed with me? We'd get there faster." Amu stopped with her hands on her thighs huffing. "O-Ok." With a burst of pink a heart clip appeared on her hair and she began to run.

_Ne shibou, isn't it unfortunate you can't do this on your own. You're too fat and stupid to even try to move your disgustingly pudgy body. No wonder Tadase prefers Mashiro-san over you. You're such an- _

"Idiot."

Now Miki spoke up from her safely placed egg. "Amu, are you sure you're fine? You know you can tell us anything." Amu put yet another fake smile on. That's all life had seemed like for years. Fake.

Like everyday we were operated to do things in an orderly manner. Any different and our day would go horrible. She was running blindly until a form almost a foot taller than her blocked her way. "Gomen, I should've paid more…"

Honey met sapphire as the young boy and girl gazed into each other's eyes. For the first time the boy something other than youthful joy in the pinkette's beautiful honey eyes. Sadness. "O-oh, it's just you Ikuto." Ikuto's eyes slanted wanting to read more into those usual vibrant eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" A blush never failed to flood her face when being with Ikuto. Her heart skipped a beat and she had the weirdest sensation of melting around him. His staring was surely not helping in any way. "Nothing, I have to go Ikuto. Bye." She hurried past him with her cheeks tinted crimson, never ceasing to embarrass her.

_Wow, you're blushing. I bet he doesn't even like you you- _

"Dork."

The charas all glanced at each other again with similar concerned expressions. When Amu finally picked Ami she ran inside the house straight to her room and bawled like a baby.

Her life was a mess. Her best friend had left without a formal goodbye, Kukai had graduated, the new guardians had done nothing but insult her since their arrival, she was unsightly, Utau was now the proud owner of her unborn diamond egg, Tadase would never like her, and she had never felt so lonely. She sobbed to her heart's content as her eyelids grew heavy. She was soon asleep. _

_**Whee-ooooh! Wheeee-oooooh! **_

Sirens.

That was all she'd heard when she awoke. The flashing red, blue, and white lights confirmed that the police and maybe the ambulance were outside. Amu rolled back over on her bed and propped up on her pillow. A pang of cold metal rushed through the fibers of her scalp.

Her sketchbook lay atop her pillow. How could she not have felt it earlier? She began to scan through the book seeing her drawings as a four-year-old. There were, surprisingly, no stick figures in her sketchbook. Only well formed figures for a child of her age. After several pages she began to notice an irregularity in her drawings.

Stick figures, brown hair, people planting flowers. These drawings were obviously not done by the pinkette herself. She face palmed herself angrily. Only Ami could've been in here drawing. She shrugged it off and turned back over in her bed. I'll get Ami about it tomorrow. Just then, her eyes shot open.

Ami!

She was supposed to be watching her! She ran as fast as she could to her door. It was locked. She jiggled the handle wondering if she had locked it unconsciously. She ran downstairs and all she could see was black. It blurred everything in range as she blindly made her way through the front door of her house. She bolted through the door and was astounded by the crowd packed outside of her gate.

As she made her way through the crowd she received dirty looks and occasional shoves. She ignored them and proceeded to the front of the crowd. The pinkette stood there with her mouth agape. Being lifted onto a stretcher was none other than her little sister Ami. Midori stood on the side of her infatuated with pure rage. She grabbed her daughter's shoulders piercing her nails into her shoulders. "You asshole! I tell you to do one thing and you can't even comprehend that!" Midori was seething with every moment and piercing her nails even deeper. Amu yelped at the pain.

"Gome-" A high-pitched sound of skin touching skin rang through the crowds. The pinkette's face burned as she watched her mother towering over her with her hand held up. The slap had left a bruise with blood not too far behind.

"I'm standing here with you watching your sister on her potential death bed because of you stupidity and lack of an attention span. You are an embarrassment to this family and a parasite! You've been repeatedly doing horrible things to your little sister for years and this is where I draw the line! I knew it was a mistake not aborting you when I could!"

The words pierced like knives into her fragile heart. For a long time she had known of her mother's detest of her. Saying it to her face and in front of the neighborhood made it worse. She ran back inside the house disregarding the distant figure of Tsumugu lurking in the dark. She ran to her room and slammed the door. She wept for the second time that day not holding back or repressing any of her sobs. Her salty tears mixed with her blood from her bruise causing it to sting but, she didn't care. Midori's words had hurt more than any wound in the world. She cried on.

Her sobbing had become gradually louder as Tsumugu sat in his chair in the kitchen drinking liquor. After 3 drinks and non-stop crying he finally made his way up the stairs. He shoved open the door and grabbed her by her hair down the stairs. Her crying had ceased into heavy pants as she watched Tsumugu standing patiently in the kitchen.

"You know, your antics are getting out of control. This jealousy is breaking everyone apart and you're really agitating me." "Bu-" He held up his hand stopping her. He searched through the cabinets until he pulled out a thin box. He poured the grains into a small pile on the floor and gestured for her to kneel. She eased her knees into the prickly grains feeling the sudden nerve-crushing pain shoot through her body. She panted still not completely done sobbing but, she would not give Tsumugu the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

_We told you to give up._

**I wish I had listened.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone I've updated and thank you all for the wonderful reviews! Favorites, follows, and silent viewers were deeply appreciated! Livy leaf yes it really is, AngelofDeath1198 it does, but just not anytime soon, AngelDevilButterfly139 it's more like an internal thing than a person, riririn it's somewhat like that, but you'll learn more as you read on (hopefully!), DarkChocolat I will and I think you're the only one to actually understand most of the plot or either the only one that's reviewed about it, but yes it's like that. Well, here's the story.

The next morning had not started off normal, like you'd expect. Her night was filled with taunt and pain barely giving her anytime to rest. Her sleepless night was partially from the previous night and years before building onto this living nightmare. She was not awoken by the morning sun or birds chirping in a harmonious melody like any other cliché story but, by the overturning of her room.

Someone was in her room rummaging through her drawers for whatever apparent reason and was making a mess. The pinkette lifted her heavy eyelids to reveal a frantic Midori packing clothes into an abnormally large suitcase. She had not heard of a vacation and nor would one be available with the events of the previous night. Why wasn't she with Ami at the hospital?

After a while of thinking into Midori's back, her mother turned around with a scowl masking her face.

"Get up and get ready I have places to be!"

Amu found this weird since it was the weekend and she was positive there were no classes scheduled for today due to the heavy snowfall. Her mother would definitely not be working either but, she dared not ask any questions and trudged to the bathroom to get ready.

Pain shot through her legs as she remembered kneeling onto the grits for an hour. Her knees were bloodied and the hot water running out of the shower was not helping the situation. She dried and dressed quickly to tend to her mother's mysterious needs. As usual she had not combed her hair and she looked like a psychopath with it sticking in 100 different directions.

When she was out two duffel bags were packed and ready to go on her bed. Her mother stood next to her, her ominous shadow sending shivers down her spine.

"Pack up anything you want to bring along, you'll be gone for a long time."

She marched out of the chubby pinkette's room still seething with anger from the previous night. It was evident to Amu that Midori was still upset but, she didn't know to what extent. She briskly began to pick up valuables she had come to love over the years and packed them into her bag she glanced at the sketchbook not wanting to take it knowing that it would only leave the imprint of the accident.

She pulled the pillow over it and closed the door to her room silently not wanting to disturb anyone. Despite the pain in her swelling knees, she somehow made it to Midori's Lexus quickly and without liitle problem. Now sitting down and buckling herself was another matter. She wore blue jeans to cover her wretched knees and a red parka to fight off the cold.

She still had forgotten her mittens and scarf but, at least she could gather the warmth she had from her clothes. But alas, even through the warmth she did have she still felt cold and empty inside. Her mother backed out of the driveway and there was silence for the rest of the trip. After a couple of hours of driving they stopped in front of a symmetric brown building with square-rimmed windows identical to each other on each side and a protruding entrance that formed a semi-circle.

A sign with a company name on it in black, bold letters shown on the building where she could barely make out the words in the early morning sun. Before she could actually adjust her vision to read the sign, her mother pushed her into the building letting her stumble over the ramp. Another pain excavated through her body as the hard ground made contact with her knee.

"Get up, I told you I have places to be!"

Amu could tell there was something different in Midori's tone this time she said it and quickly caught up with her. As soon as she entered the building, she was carried and roughly thrown into a small, desolate room. She moved her head up with her parka covering half of her face. Pulling it down she could see the interior of the micro sized room.

There was an iron bed with no mattress laying atop it, two small dressers with lamps, a door leading to another room, and a tiny window with baseboards dangling from it. The room was an eerie shade of gray and gave Amu a feeling that was gradually growing inside her chest taking over her entire body. Everyone had made it clear. They **hated** her. The little girl pulled her knees up to her chest backed up against the steel door and began to bawl inconsolably.

_Wow, you've just now realized this? You really are stupid!_

"Ikuto-nya, I'm hungry can we go get something to eat? Ikuto! Ikuto-nya!" Yoru's voice rang through Ikuto's ears, but had relayed a reaction in his body. There was only one thing on his mind.

**Amu. **

**Those usually vibrant eyes had reflected a sense of sadness and despair, one surely passing his own. That was all he could think about through Yoru's ongoing complaining. He pondered deeply that night what could be the cause of that though he could not work up the nerve just to go up and ask what was the matter with her. **

**No, that was not the Ikuto way. He was emotionless and nonchalant about things that people would show the most concern over. He could not confront her. He'd rather watch her. **

**All of a sudden he began to regret not stopping her yesterday to talk to her more in depth or apologizing in his own way about the previous morning's stunt. Ikuto's mouth dried and tensed thinking about the reason why he had not been able to visit and comfort her the night before. **

**Kazuomi had called him in on an impromptu meeting with those lousy scientists telling him about how he could use Amu to his vast requirements to locate the Embryo, he even considered Ikuto following her around all day. Something the blue-haired boy would secretly not mind doing. **

**Kazuomi gave him props for such a close relationship with the enemy and how he could now 'easily lead them into their trap.' Ikuto smirked, there were some things that even his stepfather did not know. **

**The more he thought about he thought about the meeting the more infuriated he became, if he had been there maybe he could have asked her what's wrong and worry non-stop about what the possibilities of her sadness could be. **

**Ikuto clenched his teeth together and balled his fists resisting the urge to choke Yoru and calmed himself, finally giving into his obnoxious pleas and went to grab a bite. He'd check on his pinkette later.**

**Everything was going according to plan. Coaxing that annoying pink-haired girl's sister out into the street was easier than I thought. Getting rid of that Hinamori girl would maybe set Ikuto's mind straight and back to business. **

**Without her, the guardians are rendered useless in our plot to finally capture the Embryo. Staring out the window, I cackled to myself and sipped menacingly on the coffee one of my employees had brought in. **

"**Is the coffee to your liking Director-sama? I tried my very best to make it precisely the way you like it." The young scientist stood there like a deer in front of headlights waiting for me to reply. I grimaced at her as she bowed getting the message, scurrying out of the room. **

**Sometimes, I could be so maniacal I scare myself. I sipped a bit more on my tea watching the bustling streets of Japan. **

**Yes. **

**Everything was going according to plan.**

**Please review! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

1 Month Later

The pinkette's eyes wandered around the room scanning mischievously. She sighed heavily turning over in her steel iron bed. There had been only one thought lingering in her mind since the arrival. Death. It would come easy and there would be no regrets.

The happiness and help they'd advertised had been far different than what she'd actually experienced. The nuns had called her evil and immoral so many times that she believed them and shaved her head bald to stop the evil from entering through her pores to her mind. Alas, she lay in that same position she had the morning of Ami's accident thinking how things could have been different and beginning to regret and take back new things every time.

Her time with "Tiny Houses" (NOT MINE) and the world had drawn to an end. She caressed her sleek head, letting the memories build up in her mind. The other children were in hysterics when they'd seen her, and though they tried to hide it, she knew that the staff had also been laughing at her.

Amu had not even tried to concoct a ridiculous explanation for her baldness. It wouldn't matter what she said, all she could do was wait until she got home to the tranquility of her "cell" to cry herself to sleep. That was all that she was worth. Amu's eyes clasped together sharply, feeling the pangs of hunger thrashing at her sides. She grown tired of food, and frankly, much of life. She was losing weight day by day, and even the nuns had become concerned, but she was worthless and a bother so they wouldn't care as far as seeking help for her. After a great time of thinking she knew what she had to do.

She remembered loosening the boards on her window the day she'd shaved her head and thinking of what she'd do when she escaped. Amu rose up from her icy bed and removed the weakened baseboards blocking the window. Once her feet hit the ground, she could feel the coolness of the late night dew rushing through her body.

She roamed to the nearby river a few meters from the old, tattered playground. It looked about six to seven inches deep.

_That's good, now jump in. _

She turned with her back facing the water and her eyes closed. Her palms were sweaty despite the chilliness of the night. She knew the water would still be freezing since it had just started melting and no one would find her under the ice.

_Not that anyone would care._

She extended her arms out and let herself fall backwards into the icy water.

**Goodbye mina, I love you.**

Her body met with the water and everything went black.

"A…..ide…..tempt!" "Not…azy!" "You….er up!" "Help….her."

Is this what death feels like? The same as I was on earth? I still feel empty inside. Oh Kami-sama, forgive me! The pinkette's eyes fluttered open showing a white room with machines all around her beeping. Two adults stood in the corner of the room arguing with each other.

"You can't put a child in a psych ward, it's unconstitutional! She needs to be put in a nice loving home!" A fairly young man with dark raven hair and a monotone voice was raising his voice at a stout woman with orange locks to the middle of her back with hazel eyes. "She obviously doesn't appreciate it if she was sent to a home for misbehaved children!" The raven-haired man adjusted his tie and spoke calmly.

"Tiny Houses isn't advertised for 'bad' children." He made air quotations as he spoke. The stout woman rolled her eyes at the man. "You obviously haven't been inside there and how could you even consider a nine-year-old depressed? What have they to be sad about? Not getting a toy? A boy band poster?"

The ends of his mouth twitched as the woman smirked. "You're getting besides the point, she shouldn't be in a psych ward and it can be possible for her to be depressed! Depression can also be hereditary!" He rose his voice again obviously aggravated, the woman stood up leaving. "Well, it's a bit late for that isn't it?" The pinkette heard the door shut close as she stared up at the ceiling thinking.

**A psych ward, eh? Isn't that designated for crazy people? Aw, shit I'm still alive!**

**Before she realized it, the dark haired man was sitting next to her on her cot. He stared at her and she became conscious of her freshly shaved head. She hid herself under the thin blanket blushing furiously. The man only laughed softly to his self. "May, I talk to you?" Amu pulled the covers from her head and sat up in the bed. **

"**My name is Dr. Namine, what's yours?" Amu stared at the man's large hand as he waited patiently for her to shake it, after a while of staring he laid his arm on the side of her leg. "Do you know where you are?" She stared blankly at him again not responding. **

"**You're in a psych ward, but don't think you're crazy. I'm going to be your doctor, don't hesitate to tell me anything." He smiled warmly at the pinkette who once again gave no response. **

"**So, I heard you tried to kill yourself, would you be willing to explain to me why?" She formed herself into a ball not wanting to make contact with the older man. "You know, in all my years of psychological treatments, I've never had a depressed nine-year-old as a patient." She still sat in the position, hearing him sigh heavily in frustration. **

"**Well, goodbye." He picked up his briefcase ready to head out the door until a soft voice caught him in his tracks. **

"**Are you going to help me…be happy? That's all I want." He turned and nodded at the small girl. He sat in the same spot as before and held out his pinky. "You have to promise me you won't keep any secrets first." She smiled and intertwined her pinky with his, and soon they began to talk.**

"**Where is Hinamori-san? It's been a month since we've last had her at school." **

**Tadase pondered loudly at the guardians table as the others gave him shrugs and nonchalant attitudes. X-eggs, nor the Embryo had shown up and the blonde-haired grade schooler had begun to worry. **

**What would become of the guardians if they had nothing to go after and research besides their school's work? What would become of the guardians if their charas had nothing to chara-nari for? When would he see the vibrant, cheerful face of Amulet Heart again? **

**These were naïve, inconsiderate questions he asked to himself. He scanned the room foolishly hoping for his private cheerleader to come and reassure him that she was okay and here to stay. Sadly, she was not and this was all truly real. **

"**Does it matter?" **

**Everyone's eyes glanced towards the ice princess Rima. **

"**Excuse me?" Tadase grew wide eyed at the petite blonde. How could such words from her mouth. Without Amulet Heart, where would the guardians be? "I said does it matter. Haven't you worked together without her before she came to this school? Why would it matter if she's here or not now?" The blonde sipped menacingly on her hot cocoa again as the room grew silent. **

**Yaya banged childishly on the table near tears. "Yaya-chi misses Amu-chi!" Everyone could feel the tension in the air grow as Yaya really sobbed for the first time. Kairi, who sat next to her, merely grimaced at her. "You need not to fret, Hinamori-san will most likely be back soon. She, pertaining to my calculations, wouldn't leave so unannounced without a good reason." **

**Tadase and Yaya looked up into exchanged glances hoping and praying that he was right. Rima sat at her side of the table not caring if she ran off a cliff. What had this pink-haired girl meant to her? Why was she so popular, why did everyone care so much about her? **

**She was a plus-sized stuck up brat that ran around in a cheerleader's outfit always droning on about someone's dreams and heart eggs. She wished she'd never even signed up for the guardians anyway. The hassle of having her parents sign the permission slip was not worth it. What the hell was "Cool N Spicy" anyway? **

**She excused herself from the meeting seeing that it was five minutes to six. Her mother would flip out if she was late. "Excuse me, I have to go." She had not waited for a goodbye and scurried out of the garden. Kusukusu popped up on her shoulder nudging her earlobe. "You, know you didn't have to be so mean back there. Yaya-chi was crying, isn't she your friend?" She glared at her cheerful chara. **

"**She and the other guardians mean nothing to me, especially Hinamori-san." Kusukusu could only roll her eyes at her jealous owner.**

**A blonde haired girl with bouncy pigtails lay in the bed of her medium sized room. She sighed wearily thinking about the days workload and exhaustion. How much more would it take for Ikuto to notice her? When would he love her? **

**She clutched her surrounding bed sheets thinking of the reason why. Hinamori Amu. She'd almost had him before that stupid girl ever entered his life! Now that was the only person he ever thought about. She kicked childishly on the bed messing up the sheets on her bed. **

**Only she knew the pain Ikuto endured and did anything to help him escape it. Still, he would love her the way she wanted him to. A tear rolled down her cheek thinking of all the rejections because of Amu. A rage boiled inside of her just thinking about the pinkette. She sat in her bed moping while Hinamori Amu could be anywhere laughing at her pain. **

**Ikuto had kept telling Utau about all of these sudden meetings with Kazuomi and she'd begun to grow suspicious of his whereabouts. It had been a month since he'd been able to visit her on tour. She rolled over in her bed thinking of he could be as she squeezed the pillow. Why was such a weak girl beating her in the battle for her brother's affection even when she was in possession of a part of her? **

**It seemed almost impossible the outcome of the situation. The heroine's diamond egg had been x-ed by Utau herself and Ikuto had been upset with her. She could never decipher his mind or identify his next move. Oh why did she have to love someone like Ikuto? She smiled shyly to herself thinking of his kindness at the most peculiar times. She stared up at Dia floating lazily above her. **

"**What, do you need another reading?" Utau smirked, much like Ikuto, and nodded her head. "She's still uncompromising with herself with many doubts. Her shine is dimmer than ever. Why are you so worried, she'll never win me back?" Utau's lips plastered into a grin as she laughed to herself. **

**She may have lost the battle for Ikuto's love, but at least she had something from the oh-so perfect Hinamori Amu. Dia's presence would always remind her of the battle lost by the proud and almighty Joker.**


	4. Chapter 4

8 Months Later

It had been more than a while since her eldest daughter, Amu, had been "put away." It had been nine months exactly since she'd last set foot in her home. Still, Midori was stubborn and brash with her decision to bring her back. Ami had been fine, only minor scrapes and a couple bruises, she was released two days later after many examinations and x-rays requested by Midori.

Midori burned with an uncontrollable anger thinking of that night and how she should've done more and really shook her up. Nothing could ease her and everyone was aware, especially Ami. Why, she had been subject to one of Midori's outbursts when she had asked where her dear sister had been for so long.

'She's far away from us where she can't harm anyone anymore, why do you even care? Don't you recall her hurting you?!' Her mother's eyes had never looked more hateful nor had her tongue ever been so sharp. Ami threw her shoe at the mirror and her mother and father had never been more infuriated.

Midori lashed out on her, giving a harsh scolding of safety rules and how they could have been killed. They swore and scoffed at her as she sobbed endlessly in her car seat in the backseat of that Lexus. These were not the mother and father she had come to know and she began to watch them quietly and stealthily. To Tsumugu, this was a sigh of relief not having Amu around.

She wasn't his biological daughter and he knew that her lousy father would never come to her rescue, she'd have to endure her torture a little while longer. He smirked just thinking of her screaming and crying in the middle of the night, he wrapped his arm around Midori.

Contradictory to her actions, there was still something the size of a melon swelling day by day in her gut telling her she'd wronged her daughter. Sadly, she paid no heed to that feeling. She was another pawn in this game of chess we call life, playing until another move would commence her insignificant being.

Ami had asked this question interrupting them for the third time that day in their silent inquiry; "Can Amu-Chan come home now?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

_**CRACK! THWAP! RIP! **_

"AAAAAHHHHHH….AAHHHOWWW, P-PLEASE NO MORE!"

Her thighs were covered in bruises, burns, and blisters decorating and occupying the young girl's thighs as she screeched for her punishment to cease. She sat taped to a chair with nuns holding her down as she was whipped by a man she had not identified as a staff worker.

"Hold her down good, we wouldn't need her to jerk around too much." The nuns nodded their heads, obeying her requests with unsteady hands.

_**CRACK! **_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Tears rolled down the pinkette's face as the whip had made contact with her back. It burned and she could barely breathe from all the screaming and crying for what had presumed to be hours. She hadn't even known what she'd done wrong. It was just like any other day, refusing to eat and going to bed early after dance practice. This time they'd taken her into a small, deserted hut way off in the depths of a nearby forest.

It was dark out and she couldn't identify anyone, nonetheless she had made no attempt to call out to anyone or escape. Though it seemed weird at the time, she had not even thought twice of escaping because she was too busy surveying her surroundings. She found this fun and disregarded the danger engulfing her.

She'd been here for nearly two weeks still going to school and after school activities like all the other girls until bedtime. That was where she'd started her torture, turning her already shaken up world back and forth 27 times in a spiral. Her thoughts were her only comfort here and even they, after a while, left her all alone in this abandoned hut.

"Sister Mary, it's almost noon shouldn't we stop now?" The nun shook her hands unsteadily against the pinkette's skin, scratching her with her nails by mistake. Amu sat there still with tears streaking down her face preparing for the next blow. Hands were released from her body, obviously in agreement of commencing her beating.

"Go run her bath, she needs to wash up." Short, stubby fingers glided softly against her back removing the duct tape. "Oww…oww…ahhh…ouch!" The duct tape had not taken too kindly to her bruises and ripped her broken tissue furiously. "It's ready." The women led her to the bathroom seeing as she could barely see with the puffiness of her eyes from all the crying.

"When you're done your towel's right there and a pair of clothes is on the bed. Hurry. Or else you'll be late for your chores." The door creaked close as she sat in the tub with her polka-dotted one piece bathing suit.

She ran her hand through her now fuller, longer that was now styled in pigtails and began to cry once again. The pinkette wished for this all to end, but sadly even Kami-sama had rejected her and spit her back out his powerful jaws. She was quietly, but humbly drowning in her own pool of pity.

"Yay, yay! Going to get Nee-San. Yay, yay!" The five-year-old girl in the backseat of the car chanted cheerily for her imprisoned older sister. Midori smiled smugly to herself. Even if her anger towards her eldest daughter had not yet ceased, she was still happy for the elation of her youngest daughter.

They were on their way to the home and Ami was beaming. As soon as Midori heard Ami ask for Amu for what seemed like the thousandth time she had to give in. How could she not? Ami had started another one of her whining fits. It hadn't stopped for an hour and Midori quit trying to stop her. Thus, they started on their way to get Amu.

She rolled up to the familiar symmetrical brown building and its shaded gazebo holding up its name. The scent of cleaning supplies lingered in the air and Midori wondered for a quick second if Amu was in there playing Cinderella with the other children.

The car door unlocked and Ami bolted out of the car bursting with a newfound joy. Her mother's lips widened into a sincere smile watching her daughter buzz around happier than she had in months. Surprisingly, she was ushered in by two welcoming employees that took her to the release area.

A few signatures later, her eldest daughter had been shoved into the lobby along with her luggage onto the floor. Midori caught a glimpse of her and almost hadn't recognized her.

She had a more tan, peach like pigment looking more and more like her father, her hair was fuller and longer a little past her shoulders in high pigtails making her look almost five. She was now wiry and thin and looked as if the slightest touch would send her floating into thin air ,though, her legs looked a bit more toned. Her face had thinned out into a moreso baby like structure, but there was an unreadable emotion faltering with her eyes.

Was this truly the little girl she had dumped off that same chilly winter night? She shrugged off the thought and walked past the young girl hearing her coarse, heavy breathing. "You got your pump?" Amu shook her head slowly, hastily picking up her belongings with Ami tagging along behind her happily. Amu loaded them into the car quickly, avoiding contact with either family member. Midori, trying to make small talk, attempted to get her to look up.

"Is that a new outfit?" Amu shook her head brushing her fingers against the multi-colored tunic and her purple leggings with black ankle boots. Midori sighed buckling her seatbelt not wanting to talk anymore. The pinkette stared out the window as the familiar wind of life and freedom ran through her hair and drenched her face.

**Free**.

_**Boom! **_

A middle-aged man with light brown hair and a permanent scowl etched on his face slammed his fists on his desk. "Damn! We needed her. Goddamnit we needed her!" Veins began to pop out on his forehead when his documents fell off his desk. Attempt after attempt, he had failed to capture the Embryo. X-egg after x-egg piled atop each other sealed in boxes.

Hinamori Amu, the prime factor in the equation, had gone missing after the Boss' stunt. It had come to his realization and his boss' that if no one purified the eggs that the Embryo would never reveal itself. Ikuto even found the Humpty Lock, which Kazuomi found no problem taking and giving it to Utau.

Still, it hadn't worked. The lock would only activate to its true holder that, most likely, would never return. He kept thinking that maybe, **maybe** if he knew that this would result that he wouldn't have gone through with the operation. Something even the cruel, and deceitful Kazuomi had not truly believed would've happened.

Tugging on his perfectly pressed pants, Kazuomi bit his lip in frustration. Could it be? Was Kazuomi, the Supreme Overlord of Injustice beaten at his own game. He unclenched his hand from his pants leaving a small tidal wave of creases.

He slammed his fists against his desk again and swirled around angrily in his swivel chair. Kazuomi gazed out through the window and grinned evilly. He placed his hand under his chin as he watched a swarm of people bustling through the streets of Japan. He knew that the pinkette was a much too honest and kind-hearted girl to leave her friends for long.

He was determined to find the pink-haired girl.

No matter what it took.

An 11-year-old boy with midnight blue hair and eyes to match glided easily from tree to tree with precision and grace. It seemed as if he'd done it for the millionth time, but it was the only thing that would soothe his broken heart. He'd lost his spirit since Amu's disappearance and childishly retuned to her balcony everyday after school waiting for her.

It hadn't dawned on him that she was gone until he overheard a Guardians meeting stating that she hadn't been in school for a while and that her mother had come to withdraw her.

"She's gone. Get over it, nya."

These were his charas words when he'd finally admitted it to himself. 'She's gone.' Those words rang through his mind like an annoying alarm clock at six o'clock in the morning almost breaking his nonchalant façade. A façade he only broke around her. He hung his head low thinking of how he never got the chance to say goodbye because he decided not to rebel against Kazuomi and go to a meeting that night.

He could have consoled her and held her even if it would be the last time. His mouth tensed and his fists clenched. Kazuomi. All because of him he hadn't gotten to say goodbye to her or tease her for the last time. Since he had entered the young boy's life he had been nothing but a nuisance. It was a heavy load to bear with, but he never complained for Souko and Utau's sake.

Yoru hovered over his shoulder still nagging about food and foolish things as he usually did. Ikuto swatted him away with an aggravated hand. He narrowed his acute eyes on the house. Amu's house. Nothing again after nine months of his childish longing and praying for her to come back.

Something in his heart was bursting with anticipation of the moment he'd see her again. The moment he could hold her again. Smother her in his teasing. See her blush. Watch her sleeping face. Cherish his every moment with her as if it was the last.

'_How I should've done it.' _

_His face relaxed into a more somber, pitiful look as he gazed out on the house. Ikuto took one last glance and headed back on his way to Easter._

_A prince like boy with soft blonde hair and shining amethyst eyes stared at nothing in particular. A habit he had picked up since the absence of the former pink-haired Joker. For this reason, his chara, Kiseki, had become very uneasy. _

_How could such a strong and powerful king alter after just one mishap? What would become of his subjects? Sure, children had left school and withdrawn before, but what was the difference with this student? _

_This girl was special. He had used her like a toy and yet, like the good natured person she was, had stayed by him. What both Kiseki and Tadase and the other guardians had yet to realize was that everyone had a breaking point. _

_Even after the incident, all he could do was ponder when would be the next time he'd see Amulet heart. His childish, unhardened heart had not let him realize that that was one of the reasons she could never truly like him. Tadase crawled into his sheets with his pajamas on and fell asleep._


	5. Chapter 5

7 Years Later

It was in these quiet moments of inquiry that I pondered the same question I had yet to answer; What was my purpose? My legs would branch themselves out into long, spindly slabs of meat following in suit with my scrawny, monkey wrench arms. My school in America was formed in the structure of a college with the exception that it was a high school for the highly gifted.

Throughout my entire sixteen years of life, ridicule had always found its way to me. I figured somewhere someone must have truly despised me (especially since I hadn't actually hit puberty until I turned 15). As I grew up, I realized my depression had only worsened since the incident and still I tried to, like the imbecile I am, tried to push it away not knowing that it would come to hurt me in new and horrifying ways.

I cried myself to sleep at night and cried when the sun rose in the morning. These morning to night rituals increased to the point where I would look for a place to weep without anyone's authoritative implements on my mental state. In fact, I'd bought several journals (Dr. Namine's orders) in which I had written in frequently praying to ease pain. Each one so intricately detailed about my bottled up feelings that you could see me weeping through the pages. My past forever haunted me and I had dragged it along with me everywhere and blamed myself for any misfortune hovering my 'family.'

I sat up abruptly in the corner of my dorm room on the floor feeling the foreign taste of it on my tongue. Without notice, I'd taunted myself for a very long time watching families pass by as I walked to and from campus.

Children skipping merrily against the freshly grounded tar, mothers pulling them into warm embraces for no other reason but love, siblings fighting over the pettiest of things, and fathers watching over them through their stony, protective eyes.

Family.

This was what it was. What I wanted it to be. Instead, I watched it crumble and deteriorate before my eyes not noticing any of it until it had finally settled. Sometimes, I'd sit on one of the park benches during our lunch break and watched these structured, orderly groups (that seemed to be everywhere but within my own vicinity) work together.

In the back of my mind I would always wonder what had weakened mine. Was it something they'd had problems with before? Had my brother and I not listened enough with our parents together? These thoughts had always led me to one answer: my existence.

I don't know why I had to be born and ruin things like I do, and this is when I curl up into a ball and cry to myself in my private room.

My mother and father had been high school sweethearts. They'd entered college together and my brother, Tamaki, was born. He was an unusual tanned shade of caramel, a rarity for Japanese descendants, but no so much for Columbians in which my father derived. Yet, he sparkled with promise and was the only one they had an eye for.

Sadly, three years later came along me.

**The mistake. **

**The baby they'd never planned. **

**The responsibility they never wanted****. **

**The child that made them lose it all. **

I was too young to know about the love they'd previously had and how it was slowly fading. My father's ambition to start his own industry. My mother's dream to become a truth busting and attorney. Their hopes and dreams had to be put on pause because of me. Because of my existence they had to stop their dreams. Because of me their love died out like a flickering flame.

They filed for divorce when I was four and I wept silently to myself. Tamaki now lived with my father in the United States, (who both wanted nothing to do with me since the divorce) and me left with my mother in Japan. When I was six she married Tsumugu and had Ami. I couldn't watch so I ran out in the street in my bridesmaid gown and cried in an alley.

For once, I was happy that my family did not care about me and left me where I was. Sadly, when I went on my first trip with my father since the divorce my favorite cousin, Miyu, died and all was quickly blamed on me. It hadn't been my idea to go to the pool that afternoon, Miyu insisted we went together. I couldn't swim, but it was her passion and she died doing what she loved.

About 3 months after that incident I turned eight and began schooling at Seiyo, but alas, I was still seen as the useless, unwanted middle child. Then it all had come so fast, I could feel my breathing and my heartbeat accelerating and becoming more rapid just thinking about it.

I'd gotten caught up in Easter and the guardians and past seemed to latch onto me like a safety belt. I was hopelessly abused and taunted by Tsumugu and lived in fear ever since. My mother had no clue, but I could see her anger increasing towards me. I had heard her and her mother bad mouth me for so long that I'd begun to believe in everything they'd said about me.

Why, I'd even created a face to ignore them. A face I still kept up to attempt to block out the negative surrounding me. I was detested by both sides of my 'family' and labeled as the 'bad child' on both sides. Still, I tried to prove to them I wasn't and I acted rashly and failed. I guess everyone had reached their melting point with Ami's incident and now made their disgust with me visible, (as if it already wasn't) not hidden within those four private walls in which they conversed about me.

Though I tried to hide it, this weight dragged me down even farther than I already was and swallowed me in a never ending world of pain. My mouth tightened into a fine shut line and my personality altered even more. I knew it was for real this time, no take backs no re-do's. I had hurt Ami badly and there was nothing I could do to reverse it.

Now, silence was my only friend and sometimes, even he got annoying. My only outlets were my dance classes, work, and the various notebooks I filled in everyday with new emotions. I had mastered the technique of closing off any necessities dealing with my heart, never growing to attached to things for change was always near.

The transition from to joy to darkness, child to the mature, and stone to heart made it difficult for me to forget and do away with things. Yet I knew that there was always one person that I would never be able to remove from my heart.

Tsukiyomi Ikuto.

Oh god, how could you not fall in love with him when you see him. His tantalizing features wrapped you in, his shimmering midnight blue eyes showed no emotion and could melt you right on the spot, his hair identical to his eyes looked soft and easy to manage and ruffle, he had a lean slightly tanned body that anyone would fawn over, and what you'd loved most about him was nonchalant, uncaring attitude that would quickly change if you were in need.

Oh, I remembered his visits to my balcony and how he'd stay the night and comfort me secretly and talk to me until I fell asleep. He was sweet even in his own sly, alley cat ways. I brought my knees to my chin in a fetal position as tears came to my eyes.

**I missed my chance with him, I tricked and told myself that I was in love with Tadase and hurt him. How could I have been so stupid? **

**And I found that my heart was not ready to let go of him. He was my first love, how could I? Still, I had to face everyday with a poker face. **

**Bullying was always a problem for me and I still didn't know how to deal with it. I was just happy for the peace I could give to my parents by studying abroad far, far away from them for most of the year. **

**I packed the rest of my belongings into my bag and headed for the airport. I was going 'home.'**

**Ami's P.O.V.**

**My sister, Amu-Chan, had suffered all the burdens and accusations of my family and her own. Now, at the age of 12 I understand why she had chosen to study abroad in an elite school; to slip away from some of the pressures she endured here with her 'family,' in her 'home.' **

**She only came down when she had to and even then, she weaned out her hours so far to where she only had to come home for sleep. I noticed changes when she returned home that day from the tall, brown building I had yet to identify. **

**Besides her wiry body, and stronger abnormal pink hair, I had seen something no one else had. **

**Her eyes. **

**Those once vibrant orbs of honey dimmed and shut out all life in them. She was not allowed near me. Not to touch, talk, feed, play with, or watch. I could see the impact it made on her. The load she was carrying was more visible than ever and sometimes, I heard her crying in the night. **

**Once, she'd left one of her journals she wrote in at home and I'd begun to read each page. I hadn't understood what it meant back then, but now I do. On each page she poured out her feelings she'd harbored inside and released them elegantly into her book. **

**The only place she could proudly wear her heart on her sleeve. Sometimes, Onee-Chan detailed it to her last corner of suffering that even I began to cry a bit. Amu was the best person in the world. She was kind-spirited, loving, and most of all forgiving. Traits I loved about her. Traits I tried hard to gain. A person I strived to be. **

**I collected myself in my room as a series of knocks landed on my door. I could not let my mother and father see me mourning over Amu. **

**I had to hide the fact I loved her from the woman who birthed her and the man who abused her. **

**Sanjou stood by the window of her high-rise apartment watching over Japan. Watching with hidden high hopes that the obnoxious pink-haired girl would be spotted through the bustling crowds. She readjusted her glasses with the tip of her finger. **

**She had to admit. She'd underestimated the Joker. **

**Fleeing on a whim and stopping Kazuomi's cruel and unjust plans. She had some nerve. At first it had angered her, that stupid girl stopping the search for the Embryo and holding her job on the line. **

**Surprisingly, it had later softened into understanding. **

**She was able to escape their clutches unlike the unfortunate Utau and Ikuto. Amu was free of the evil power lust of Kazuomi. No longer was he supreme. He, Kazuomi, was now the pawn in the chess match, the game the girl Sanjou assumed to be playing all along unaware of the effect. **

**In hopes of her return, there was mass production of x-eggs. With each batch, their hopes drained until there was no more left. Even with Utau being the new owner of the Humpty Lock, purification could not take place. **

**Kazuomi had finally met his match. **

**Sanjou-san smiled to herself as she crept back into the bedroom.**


	6. Chapter 6

Somewhere in northeastern Europe, a boy with flowing purple waist length hair had stretched his limbs during his daily morning stretch. He'd traveled the world dancing with no-nonsense mother not far behind mentoring him. These travels began with hopes and dreams of a star being born.

But alas, even stars carried a little dust. After the first weeks of grueling practice hours it had become a tedious task. Sometimes, even a regretting one. He'd left his best friend back at home without a proper goodbye.

Though none but a few souls knew, he had not told the person it mattered to the most. On the contrary, his sudden disappearance was all in all for a good cause. He was not ready to tell Amu goodbye because he knew the guilt that would follow and surface after it.

Not being able to tell his best friend his true identity. Now that guilt would only seep deeper inside him. She was gone. Not to return. Away forever. The letter he'd received from Tadase still shocked and stunned him to this day.

The worst part was that she had no return address like mail, she could go to wherever she pleased and not return. He felt like someone had punched him in his stomach.

_Why hadn't he told her when he could? Why couldn't he have stayed and maybe prevented this? _The graceful purple-haired boy glided across the room on the balls of his feet. He regretted not being able to face the facts as a man should.

Still, he believed he had to find himself before he could even approach her again. Even then, said pinkette had yet to discover herself. He lowered himself onto the ground and closed his eyes done with his morning routine. He sighed in exhaustion with a smile indented in his heart.

_When I'm ready Amu-Chan, this time for sure I'll tell. _

"Nagihiko!" His eyes shot open as he rushed to his able-bodied mother's bedside, ready to begin another day of brutal practice.

_Beep…Beep…Beep. _

_Two pink-haired, honey-eyed girls almost identical if you didn't know them lay waiting in the hospital's emergency room. One on the operating table, the other watching intently through a window in a viewing room. They'd went swimming without permission at the hotel pool and it had cost them dearly. _

_The rosette on the operating table was an A-Class swimmer with the most flawless technique for her age. She was best in her division and had dreams of becoming the best Olympian swimmer in the world with dozens of gold medals. _

_Alas, even with the young girl's flawless technique and smooth transitioning, she'd faulted in her own field of interest. Not paying attention to how many strokes from the beginning to the end of the pool, she hit her head at the end of the pool and swallowed a rather large amount of chlorine water. _

_It was the pinkette who couldn't swim, that ran to the nearest adult and called an ambulance. Sadly, even she knew that her beloved cousin was already gone. She sat in the waiting room, holding her breath on each heartbeat hoping and praying for a miraculous recovery. _

_The doctors called the adults out of the room and the pinkette could see her aunt holding back the sobs she'd tried to prevent the entire time. The little girl turned her head and prayed that she was only assuming. _

_One of the doctors summoned her inside of the emergency room. It was in that moment that the pinkette could see death written all over her cousin's face. Barely able to move, the frail girl held her pinky out. "Promise me we'll go swimming again Amu-Chan." _

_The pinkette hesitated and then she heard the last heartbeat of her cousin as her hand went lax. Doctors swarmed in the room pushing the dear girl out of the way. A flat, green line beeped loudly flashing across the monitor as the doctors did what they could to revive her. _

_The small child's aunt stormed in and struck a blow across the pinkette's face. "This is all your fault you stupid bitch! You killed her you murderer!"_

Amu's P.O.V.

I killed my cousin when I was six-years-old. She was all I ever wanted and I took her away. I was Hinamori Amu the stupid, worthless murderer that no one wanted around. That's what I knew about myself.

The plane ride was an unusually long, and painful one. I've woken up four times during these two hours of the ten hour flight from the same nightmare that replayed in my head like a movie for the past eight years. The memory taunted me everyday of my life and left me with a hollow soul.

With how much of a horrendous creature I was, I was surprised to have received my shugo charas again. They seemed to watch over me more protectively now and I watched my tongue around them more often. They were sleeping soundly in their eggs and oh how I longed for company now. I didn't want to disturb them at this late hour just because I was bored and lonely.

That would be selfish of me.

I pulled out my sketchbook and turned on the light beginning to draw anything that came to mind. "Wow Amu-Chan, you're getting really good! You barely need my help anymore."

My blue tomboy chara scared the living daylights out of me popping out of nowhere so suddenly. I calmed myself and began to speak to her in a hushed tone. "Miki-Chan, you know you scare me when you do that."

Miki shrugged and glanced blankly at my sketchpad. "You scare me when you wake up late at night to draw pictures of Ikuto. You seem like the creepy one to me."

I stared down at my sketchbook and realized that I was drawing Ikuto and blushed ten shades of crimson. "It's only expected of her to think of him occasionally, after all he was her first love desu~." Suu, my motherly green chara, had also decided to join the late night party. I blushed again and fingered the pencil work. How could I not think of him, he was on my mind all the time and I missed him.

He'd cared for me and I'd tossed him to the side like a dirty pair of socks. A tear slithered down my face as I thought of him. Oh Ikuto, if only I'd realized and told you how I felt.

_You were and still are too stupid that's why you didn't tell him. Didn't we tell you he didn't like you anyway? Maybe if you started listening to us you'd get somewhere_.

"Fight, fight Amu-Chan don't cry! Fight, fight Amu-Chan!" I felt my face and realized I'd gone into a full blown sobbing session right there. I wiped the salty tears off my face and tried to form a smile for Miki, Ran and Suu.

I could tell they were still worried and I closed my eyes and began to listen to my Ipod praying they'd just go back to sleep like sane people. I could hear them rustling around in my pouch and I could tell they were drifting off into a land of slumber and I followed in suit with them.

_I don't even know why they waste their time on a useless person like you. You're nothing but a setback, a mistake._

**I know I'll try harder to stay away and not ruin anything. **

Utau's P.O.V.

"Dia-san, what's her stand point now?" I turned over on my striped beach towel tanning my back evenly in the noon beach sun peering at the guardian chara. She was sipping idly from a long, twisty straw on some pink lemonade.

Summer had hit like the plague and it was scorching outside, perfect for my tanning process. So, like any other person not wanting to waste money on cheap tanning I decided to go to the beach.

"She's uncompromising with herself and believing many doubts. Her shine is dimmer than ever. She'll never earn me back." The words of my arch nemesis' x-chara came out flatly and uncaring towards her bearer. Dia had been deprived of her for so long that she could barely make out her face if asked. If only I could forget it.

That face had been the sign of an overtaking of my life. How dare she walk into Ikuto's life and act like she owned and knew anything about him. It was me who'd been with him through all those years. It was I who knew all of Ikuto's pain.

It was I that Ikuto was supposed to fall in love with, not that agitating Hinamori Amu. Still, my lips wrinkled into a grin. I hadn't intended to give up, I would continue this battle until Ikuto was mine. Phase one had already been completed and now everything else would fall into place.

Iru hovered over me probably wanting to transform and annoy me again today. She'd become gloomy and not in the usual way she would be. But, I didn't care as long as I had Dia I'd be set. I didn't need Iru anymore and she knew it.

She'd become an extra just like her former counterpart Eru. I never noticed how much both of them had been setting me back. I shooed her away again, her presence pestering me, and watched her float towards the mid-day sun.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys, sorry for the day late update! I know I haven't said this in a while but, thanks for all the lovely reviews, follows favorites, follows, and even you you silent viewers. I know you guys want it to be happier quick but, it can't it has to build so just bear with me. I can't always list P.O.V.'s because it's not always told in first person and I'm working on spacing things out so you can tell and if you need clarity on some things I think you should read the chapter over. Lastly, if you really like my story would you recommend it to other people? I would really like to see other people's views on my writing. Here's chapter 7.

XXX

The amiable greens of the trees we weren't enough to fool anyone that today would be any better than the last. Ominous, dark clouds filled the afternoon sky hinting a heavy downpour with the scent of rain lingering in the air.

It had rained for a week straight which frankly, wasn't unusual for Japan in the summer but, more so a damper on anyone's vacation. One person's vacation in particular wasn't all sunshine and dandy. A certain spiky orange haired boy with vibrant green eyes sat in his bedroom staring out the window sill as if waiting for an answer.

But, much like anytime before, all he saw was his reflection gazing back at him through the glass.

Bzzzzzt! Bzzzzzt!

His phone vibrated persistently in his pants pocket telling him he had just received a text. He entered his password, unlocking his phone, and read the text he'd received.

_Tadase:_

_Hey Souma-san, where are you? Did you get caught in the rain?_

Kukai sighed as he ran his fingers through his sticky mess of hair. All the others were staked out at Yaya's house most likely deceived into babysitting her little brother for her again. Kukai wasn't much of a babysitter and he had no experience, with he being the youngest child. Even if he had, Kukai still wouldn't have gone over there.

He twiddled his fingers his phone still giving an irritating beam of light in his eye waiting for a reply. He hesitated to answer.

He didn't want to sound like a sap or look like a saddest boy at a Feed The Children convention, he just felt that it would be a reminder of the disbandment of the guardians. How they'd all, for a while, had to go their separate ways and see if the grass was really greener on the other side. How one girl had changed and impacted their lives so drastically.

Amu had been like a little sister to him and he finally felt like he wasn't being babied for a change. He could actually be the one to help and give good advice. The ends of his mouth moved upward into a line almost forming a smile, and Amu being the exuberant and thankful person she was took in everything and never complained.

He'd always liked that about her. The way she always smiled afterward was enough to send him into a tizzy. Kukai began to think about anything else but her as a lump caught in his throat and sadness blanketed over him. But, she was gone now and he had to deal with it.

_Kukai:_

_Yeah, sorry about that. It's a really heavy downpour over here. Am I missing anything important? _

His text was not one of regret of not being able to go but, more of one of even answering. Kukai began to wonder why he had in the first place. Was it because he felt that was the right thing to do or was it because he thought he had to? He brushed the thought off and peered out his window again seeing the Seiyo soccer field that he had once dominated.

He smiled remembering all the good times he'd had with all his friends and how things were so much simpler back then. He mentally slapped himself for ever saying he wanted to grow up. With age there came lots of wisdom and experience. Some of which he wished had never been brought to his attention.

It was like being in a sixth grade science class when they first showed what was happening to your body and you became disgusted seeing what you'd become in the future. Unlike the textbooks and the videos, there was no ew moment during the movie playing through your mind, only the hurt and pain of growing older and realizing things you wish that you hadn't.

His phone once again began buzzing and he rolled his eyes knowing who it would be. He told himself he would ignore it for now and go make a sandwich. He hadn't noticed his stomach grumbling until he heard it mimic the sound of his phone vibrating.

Kukai was dressed in gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt as he walked casually through the corridors of his own house. He hadn't noticed one of the doors had been open and he soon found himself running for cover as objects flew towards his head as his brother rummaged through his room.

"Kukai, if you're going to the kitchen make me a sandwich!" Kukai scoffed at his older brother and kept walking obviously not getting ready to make anything that add to his supply of energy for throwing things at him again. When he finally made it to the kitchen, he stopped in front of the refrigerator and had forgotten what he had even come in her for.

He thought hard for a few moments and then remembered he was hungry. "Alright, a sandwich will have to hold me for now." He pulled out mayonnaise, lettuce, ham, cheese, turkey, and white bread from the fridge and began to topple his concoction together. When he was finally done, he grabbed his sandwich leaning in for a big bite only to be accompanied by the taste of hot air in his mouth.

He looked to his side and saw his older brother munching happily on the works of his own blood, sweat, and tears. "Whoops, was this your sandwich. Oh well, at least it went to good use. I can really taste all the hard work you put into it." His brother smirked devilishly as he took another bite from the sandwich, exaggerating his motions and sounds while eating.

"Mmmm Kukai, you should become a chef. You'd make a great mom!" Kukai clenched his fists in an effort not to dismember his older brother with one swift move. "You know what, you can have it. I wasn't that hungry anyway."

The red head ran his way back up his stairs trying to forget any thought of beating the crap out of someone. He lay on his bed reading a manga until he remembered the text he hadn't answered. He removed his cell phone from his pocket and unlocked his phone for the second time that afternoon.

_Tadase:_

_No not much, just Yaya and Tsubasa going at it again. I think you're better off where you are Souma-san._

Kukai sighed just what he'd expected from going to her house. Another screaming match he didn't need to hear at this point.

_Kukai:_

_Lol, thanks for the heads up. Hope you make it out alive._

Kukai sighed again thinking of Amu-Chan's absence. Even now, he still could not fully understand her absence. Once, he had tried so hard to comprehend it that it formed a headache and he ended with a head cold. Had it been something he said?

Was it something he'd done? Why wouldn't she have told him what happened like she'd always done before? Since then, he still wondered about it but not as hard and long. Hinamori-san's absence had affected many people and over time, changed many of there personalities.

His pale green-haired chara Daichi hovered beside him talking of the soccer and other sports he knew. Kukai listened cheerily as he once had before. Kukai was still a fun-loving, energetic guy that everyone loved but, he'd altered a bit.

He, just like many others had to put up a charade, pretending things were okay. His brothers would tease him relentlessly about having girl problems and sometimes his parents would worry about him in the most agitating, parental way. He shook himself back to reality trying to forget the pink-haired girl he'd once been close to.

XXX

Amu's POV

It was the summer of mercy as the rays of sun stretched their long arms through the window of my seat in the back of T. Ray's Mercedes Benz. He said he didn't want to waste money staying overnight at a hotel, which was fine with me, so we stayed in the car the whole night. The seats were icy like the state of my fragile heart and it wasn't showing any signs of being fixed.

Getting up to roll down the window, I could instantly feel the early summer breeze twirling and intertwining with my hair.

I laid my chin atop the door of the car and breathed in the scent of the fresh morning air. My guardian charas were asleep and I had no one to nag me about proportions and how realistic things looked in my sketch. It was beautiful outside and I had my sketchpad ready. As I began to bask in the glory of my sketch I realized the time. 7:30, when the sun finally appeared from its shyness of the early morning. Meaning only two hours until T. Ray's first meeting of the summer.

I shook and he stirred drowsily from his slumber. He didn't have to look at me to know why he'd been awoken. He quickly cranked up the car and began driving testing the speed limit of the road. My father's uproarious yawns filled the car and I could smell his morning breath ever so faintly. In the early mornings, these were the times when I remembered my feigned father from so long ago.

The one tucked way back in the solaces of my now demented mind that was loving. He sang to me, hugged me, threw me up in the air and shoving his face into my belly making me giggle. Even though my memory of my parents at that age was vague, I remembered the one day I wish I hadn't. The day T. Ray and my big brother Tamaki left.

They, being my…mother and father were having another one of the fiery quarrels. Heh, it's funny how these words once use to roll off my tongue and now how hard and bitter they tasted in my mouth. 'Mommy', 'Daddy'. Names I haven't called them in so long. I remembered the first I had used these new terms of Midori and T. Ray. I was paddled for those attempts and placed in timeout. One lashing from T. Ray and another from Midori. The small of my back to end of my thighs burned and covered in welts. I remember not being able to sit right for weeks. It was the first time I had tried my secret silence protest. After a few weeks, I'd tried it again and the transition went smoothly.

They were no longer registered in my mind as mommy or daddy. They were now the drained and dreamless Midori and T. Ray. Nothing less. Nothing more. Then, suddenly I was back in the apartment B on the fifth floor whimpering the depths my brother and I's closet. Tamaki cradled me in the warmth of his arms as dishes clattered and lightning struck.

They were going at it again and I could remember all the bitterness, the screaming, the hate, and most of all the forgotten love. I watched it before my eyes as is gray Chevron sped away from the building never to return. My mother ran back inside the house swearing and carrying on through her tears as I childishly waited there at the curb waiting for them to come back and tell me that they were just mad at each other. That they were sorry for scaring me and that they loved each other again. I could hear the distant rolls and claps thunder and lightning rolling in on me as the darkness settled.

But, this time I had a feeling it was different. When night fell, I returned inside the house to a hopeless Midori and a broken house. I saw her through the crack of her room door sobbing, her face beet red with fury. She slammed the door in my face when she realized I'd been standing there. How could I survive? What was there for me now? That was one of the many nights I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't understand what had happened as I tried to decipher it with teary eyes and a broken heart. I wish I'd realized then that my life wouldn't be any better.

When we finally reached the house, no one was there to help with luggage and I didn't mind. This was how things were and I had to learn to accept it. I hurriedly scuffled into my room dreaming of my real parents with pink hair and honey eyes like mine. I would dream of them holding me when I was sleepy or scared. Cooing me back to sleep when I awoke from a bad dream or something that happened to me the previous school morning.

In my dreams, there lived a strong, certain family with a purpose. A family not caught up in the shadows of their past or in the gloating, irresponsible lights of their friends and other relatives. A family that cared and nurtured one another. A family that I screwed up, one that I wished I could've had. I opened my eyes stopping myself from a sobbing fit and glanced at my charas that I had barely gotten back.

They shared the same expression and I plastered on a fake smile just to reassure them that I was okay. When I saw them retreat to their eggs, I made my way to the bathroom and made myself comfortable on the sink. I pulled out a sharp kitchen knife and held it in my hand ready to puncture anything in my way.

_You deserve this Amu, just stab yourself._

I stifled a sob, trying to hold back my short circuiting emotions.

**Yes, I know I do.**

I pierced the knife into my wrists and upper thighs, watching as the blood trickled down my legs and onto the floor. It was a wonderful sight to see.

_Yes Amu, that was good. Now do it again._

**Hai**.

XXX

"What do you want?" A midnight blue-haired boy with a husky voice stood before an occupied swivel chair. "Ikuto, why so harsh? I only want to do what I think is best for you." Ikuto rolled his eyes and clenched his teeth hearing his stepfather's cold, menacing laugh that could pierce the souls of the dead. He turned around in his chair with his hands placed under his chin with the support of his desk.

Filing and sorting through papers, he handed his stepson a stack of many papers needing to be documented and filed. Snarling, the teenage boy snatched the stack out of his hands and exited the room.

'_Damn you Kazuomi. If it weren't for my mother and Utau's sake I would have already killed you.' _

His shoes tapped softly against the floor as if trying to sneak away from something. Still, you could smell his superiority from miles away. By the time he'd finally reached his office quarters, there was an unexpected visitor waiting for him at the door.

A middle-aged woman with waist length blonde hair and midnight blue eye's much like Ikuto's. "Ikuto, may I speak to you for a moment?" He nodded slightly as he unlocked the door to his office. It was just like any other you'd see.

Dull, depressing, and stationary. There was a bookshelf crammed with books about operating a successful business. Potted plants stood guard near the undraped balcony enhancing the beauty of the room by a measly two percent. Ikuto's desk faced backwards to the balcony letting the rays of sun feel the muscular frame of his back. The carpet was an evening shade of maroon contrasting the pale yellow of the walls. Two chairs stood back towards the wall under a portrait of a contorted woman.

The blonde woman sat in one of the to chairs. She hastily fondled with the seams of her long gray skirt. Ikuto patiently coaxed her on from the doorway. "Yes, mother?" Souko smiled up at Ikuto. "I don't even know if I deserve that title anymore." The woman let a duo of tears slide down from each eye. Ikuto walked over to the other chair and sat next to her.

"I know I haven't been the best person in the world or a mother for that much but…"Ikuto held onto her quivering hands letting her pause between sniffles. "…you have been there through thick and thin protecting your sister and I since your father's absence. I know I haven't always been there and I've left you and Utau with the consequences of my stupid mistakes and…"

She squeezed his hand letting a flood of tears escape her eyes. Ikuto grabbed a box of tissues from his desk and handed them to Souko. "Thank you, now I know I haven't said this in a while but, I love you, I appreciate you, and I thank you for staying strong when I wasn't able to." The woman reached over and hugged her son. A gesture she hadn't done in years. He responded by rubbing his back with his free hand, as she still used the support of his other one. A few moments later she released him and waved a goodbye to her eldest offspring.

He paused a few seconds to hear the clickety-clacking of her heels die away. Ikuto walked out to his balcony and let the wind intertwine with his new low cut hairdo. He reached in his pockets and felt for a piece of metal. He gently lifted a lock out of his slacks as if the slightest touch would shatter it into a million pieces. He rubbed the coolness of the lock across his face.

The Humpty Lock shined so dimly since her disappearance. Just before he placed the lock back into his pocket he kissed it, stroking the material alongside the key.

_I'll find you Amu, I promise._


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys, sorry for the late update! Thanks for the constant love you guys show! If it hadn't been for you guys, I don't even think that I'd continue with this. Here's chapter 8.

XXX

Midori's POV

There was something different slowly building within her. It was in the way she maneuvered, how she avoided gazes, how she communicated, and most of all how she dealt with herself. I sighed heavily; she was staying here today because her father, T. Ray, insisted that I 'babysit' her while he was at a meeting.

He told me he'd be worried if she stayed home all by herself being that no one would be home until about 8 or 9. I rolled my eyes, though I couldn't blame him for taking precautionary steps. Amu may be a mute but I'd doubt that she wouldn't throw some wild party and trash his house with all her rebellious friends.

I ran my fingers through my hair and huffed through my nose. I had so much to do today and Amu was still here. Oh god, why couldn't she just be a normal and obedient child like Ami-Chan! "Amu!" I could hear her soft steps against the wooden floor of the stairs. She was carrying a calculus book with a pencil in between the book as to not lose the page and kept silent waiting for my orders like.

I had never really taken a good look at her but now that I am, she looked as frail as ever. Even though she'd inherited the light peachy-brown pigment of her skin from her father, she still looked ghostly pale, she was as thin as a rail if it hadn't been for her petite coke bottle shape and toned legs, and she'd cut her bangs over last several years after her hair grown all the way to her hips.

She was a whole new person but was far from that sweet, innocent girl in the pictures. She stood there avoiding eye contact, as she always did, and waited for my orders.

"I need you to go send these bills to the post office and then drop by Anza's to get Ami's sleeping bag." She nodded and ran back up the stairs to put on shoes and put her book back down. When she left I eased into the new recliner chair that Tsumugu had bought for the revamped living room.

I closed my eyes not fully realizing that I was falling asleep. I could hear the distant ringing of bells in my ear but paid no heed to them.

XXX

_Ring! Ring! A little girl around 3 or 4 buzzed around the neighborhood in her bright, new red tricycle. Her tiny feet pedaled fast as she raced her brother who was on foot around the block. Their mother and father were not far behind as they smiled lovingly at their children. _

_The little girl's shoulder length pink hair flew in her face as the wind whipped past her face. She giggled seeing her brother neck and neck with her as they reached their finish line. She sped up the pedals of her tricycle as she soared to the finish line defeating her brother by just a fraction of an inch._

"_I won!" _

_Her brother panted exhaustedly behind her. "No you didn't, you cheated." _

_The pinkette's lips formed into a pout as she stared blankly at her huffing and puffing brother. "No I didn't, you said I could ride my bike." Her honey eyes trembled with water as she gazed with puppy dog eyes at her brother. _

"_Well duh, you're going to beat me on a bike 'cause you're sitting down and just pedaling. It takes more work to run." Her eyes brightened as she formed an idea. "Maybe Tamaki-senpai can ride my bike and I can run so it'll be fair." _

_Tamaki considered this bargain and willingly rode the tricycle. The pinkette's giggles rang through the small neighborhood as she zoomed past her brother on foot. His legs were too big to fit inside of the tricycle so his knees lay uncomfortably on the handlebars as he worked hard to pedal. They finally reached the finish line and Tamaki's legs felt as if they were about to give out. Still, he kept his pride. _

"_You know I let you win, right?" The little girl smiled at her brother who sat in her tricycle. She ran up to him and hugged him. "Arigato Onii-san." He blushed profusely as he hugged her back. "Yeah, whatever." _

XXX

I woke up to incessant shaking as I pulled in and out sleep. I opened my eyes wearily and looked to the suspect none other than Amu. I finally turned over in my recliner and glared at her. "What?" She'd rattled my phone in my face as I identified the caller.

It was T. Ray.

I grumbled and muttered under my breath before I finally got up and answered the phone. I could see her out of the corner of my eye sitting on the windowsill. She stared out the window as if she were searching for something, maybe even someone. And just for one moment, I could've sworn I saw a tear escape her honey eyes. I shook it off and turned my attention back to the phone conversation.

"Yeah, she'll just have to stay here if there's no one at your house with her. Ok…mmhmm…yeah…alright…bye." I slid the end call button across the screen and waited for the beep.

I'd grown tired of these conversations with my estranged husband and his hectic work schedules. We'd pretty much kept our distance since the divorce and at least didn't have screaming fests like other estranged people would.

_Crrrreaaak!_

I could hear someone opening the door about to leave. Once again, it was none other than Amu and I couldn't stop myself from pondering where she went everyday at the same time for years. "2:30 already?" She shook her head never turning around and left with a medium sized bag at her hip with the straps between her breasts. I swear nothing would ever get her to talk.

I remember when she first came back home. I thought I'd give her about a week to settle back into the house and talk again but still she remained silent and was always found in a feeble position. One day, I grew tired of this protest and I struck her several times with Tsumugu's belt. She didn't scream, jump, nor fumble with her dialogue. She remained still and ghostlike in the same position as she'd started.

I could hear Ami screaming and crying for her, yelling stop with each blow. There were bruises along the back of her thighs and goose bumps rose on my skin as I bathed her in bubbles. She would not react; she stayed stony and oblivious to whatever went on. It was like she was in another world.

Only once had I awoken in the middle of the night to tend to her course breathing. She had asthma and there was always a fear that I wouldn't make it to her side at night. She wheezed and hacked until I reached her room. She couldn't reach her pump and I quickly scooped it up and reimbursed her with air.

I asked if she was okay and tried to hug her but she pushed me away and wrapped herself in her covers. I must admit, I was hurt at the time but I got over it. She was psychotic and a hindrance to society. Animals do not need affection.

XXX

Amu' POV

"Eleve slowly into the arabesque, 6 pique turns here, remember to spot, 2 sautés, and grande jete into promenade! 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3! Come on girls pick up those knees and fix those sloppy arms!" It was another day of grueling practice at Cleurdoiffant's Dance Academy. For some odd reason, she'd always held me up to a higher standard than the other girls in my class.

I didn't like that.

All the other girls got mad at me and I tried so hard to be friends with them. Sometimes, I'd see their moms walk by and give me nasty looks. Ms. May, my dance teacher, would always tell me that I shouldn't worry about them because they're all jealous, bloodthirsty hounds.

"Alright girls, I need that cleaned up and perfected by tomorrow. Nationals are coming up soon and we're on a winning streak. Let's keep it that way." After our group huddle I packed up my things and threw on a jacket. It had rained earlier and there was still a faint breeze hanging around. As I walked toward the bus station, I took heed in my surroundings. I was walking down a quiet little neighborhood but anything could happen, so I kept my guard up.

Walking always helped me think, so I rarely asked for a ride unless it was already provided. As much as I hated to admit, I missed the Guardians and Easter's crazy antics to find the Embryo. It seemed that the more I tried to push the memories away the more they came back. That's when I start to do things to myself. I rolled up the sleeves of my jacket. Up and down my forearms were cuts and deep gashes. This was how I occupied myself when I was alone.

I didn't like being by myself because I knew it'd lead to thinking about things and wondering what if this happened. How things would have gone down if I or the other person had done something different. What if things hadn't ended in that way? That's when I realize that my life is a never-ending abyss of yesterdays and what ifs. I squeeze my eyes shut holding back the tears that yearned to be released. I wouldn't cry out here, I'd cause a scene.

_You're worthless._

**I know.**

_Why do you even try? You know everyone just wants you to die._

**Gomen, I just thought-**

_You just thought what? That someone cared about you? That someone actually would want to leisurely spend their time with you? You better start realizing honey that no one cares about you. You're just another useless speck of dust on their shoulder._

That's when I start to bawl. The voices were sterner than usual today. I wish they'd just go away like everyone else. But they won't, they're a part of me now. "Amu-Chan, you know if you cry out here you'll cause a disturbance." I looked down to see Suu glancing up at me with Ran and Miki giving me the same worried glance they always had when they looked at me. I try to smile but my mask isn't working at the moment and my act falters.

"Amu-Chan, it's okay. You don't have to pretend in front of us." I wipe my tears thanking my lucky stars that I was fortunate enough to have friends like them to help me. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something is all." I brush them away with my hand and I can tell they're still not convinced. I clear my throat and avoid their glances just like everyone else. "I just want to think to myself right now."

I could hear them somberly placing themselves inside my dance bag and I begin walking again. It seemed like forever when I finally reached the bus stop and my legs felt wobbly. I plopped onto the bench and rubbed my feet softly. I breathed a tired sigh as the bus pulled up and me and five other people boarded the bus. It was 7 o'clock and I'd be home by eight. I was sitting in the back of the bus with a shady man wearing glasses and a leather jacket with a hood.

It was pretty peculiar to wear such a heavy coat in the summer time. But, I didn't judge because everyone had their own sense of style. I could see his midnight blue locks and for a second I thought of Ikuto. I shook it off because I knew if I began to think of him I'd have the strongest desire to want to see him again. I knew he couldn't be far away because I was staying temporarily at my mother's house. My father rented a summer home for the time he'd be staying here in Japan because he didn't know how long it would take to finally get a joint contract with another company.

It didn't matter much to me because in a while I'd be out of everyone's hair.

I'd graduated and I was majoring in fashion and business. All the teachers thought that I shouldn't have decided at such a young age to start school but I had to. It was my only escape. If I didn't occupy myself I'd do some pretty drastic things, I'd cut and try to kill myself.

Dr. Namine says the anti-depressants have to be taken regularly and that going to a psychiatrist every week would also help. Sadly, I began to think that they weren't really helping me because they just seemed to help me suppress my feelings and ignore people better. But I didn't tell him that because I trusted he knew what he was doing and that he would help me. He became a sort of father figure to me.

Even then, I still doubted his methods and it made me feel worse. I glanced at my festered marks running hatefully up and down my forearm. They were angry little red marks glaring at me, seeping their burning stares into my soul. When I couldn't take anymore I rolled down my sleeve again and peered in my bag.

My charas were sleeping peacefully in their eggs strategically placed next to one another. I smiled but, even this made me sad. There would always be one egg missing that I never got to know. A side of myself I never got to define and embrace. I looked up feeling someone boring holes into my back. I knew it had to be the peculiar guy with leather jacket but I dared not turn around in fear that he might not be staring and I'd look silly. The bus came to a stop as the mysterious man pulled the cord signaling the bus driver.

He got off and I saw him walking to another bus stop we had already passed and I wondered where he was going. I wondered if he was lonely just like me and if he had a family that was waiting at the front door for him. I sure wish I did.

_You're such a sap. How many times do we have to tell you before you realize no one cares? Could you be any more of a pussy?_

I ignored the voices this time; I was tired and lacked the will to fight. The bus finally came to my stop and I could see T. Ray's black Mercedes waiting for me. It was weird because he'd never done that before, and I didn't know he knew where my stop was. He waved me in and I could feel the cold breeze I always felt when I was around him. I had to brush it off and keep up my façade. I didn't let it falter like it had earlier.

_Let's just see how long that mask lasts crybaby._

XXX

It was the conclusion of another epic concert as the gilded maroon curtains of the large stage drew closed. The crowd screamed for more as the blonde turned and shifted out of her character change with Dia. She wiped the small beads of perspiration from her forehead as a backstage crew worker passed her a water bottle.

She walked into the VIP room and met with her fans that had somehow always acquired backstage passes. She didn't complain though, she loved and craved the attention. It was an adrenaline rush and she felt like an addict when she hit the stage. Singing was her drug; once she started she couldn't stop. Little was it known to her that everyone could tell that she was most happy on stage and, for a while, she seemed carefree while not worrying about Ikuto.

Still, the blonde was stubborn and didn't take the time to pay attention to anything being told to her. She would quickly tell them she wasn't singing leisurely but, to free her brother and help him escape from his ill-stricken fate. Others, had they not known her, would label her as rude and uptight but, Sanjou knew better.

Utau loved to sing and though that was her purpose, she sang not only for Ikuto but, for the happiness of others. Sanjou watched her from the back door of the VIP room and watched her smile and mingle with all of her fans. Tonight's performance must have been especially good because she allowed pictures and autographs this time. Still, her heart sank when she realized like every other time that Ikuto, her reason for fulfilling her dream, was not here.

He was back at the headquarters filing and documenting pointless papers and corrupt documents. It seemed as if there was just an abundant supply of paper roaming freely around Japan. Utau could see him bent over on his desk exhausted from all the work. She trembled with fear thinking of the day he would die from work overload trying to protect her and his mother. The after party finally ended and she helped clean up staff with any of the ridiculous heaps left behind by messy visitors.

The Guardians also tagged along to help the cleanup crew. It was weird but, ever since the disbandment of the Guardians they'd made a treaty with Easter and decided they'd end this foolish fight and benefit one another. Although they'd decided on this, the tension always built in the air when they were around each other.

Ikuto and Tadase weren't the best of friends but they were kind of working it out, Utau could not yet register her feelings for the goofy, fun loving Kukai who freaked her out sometimes, Kairi was still living with his sister down here to help her with work, Yaya still loved to be a baby but she did mature, and Rima was still the ice queen everyone had known her as. Some people just never changed.

After the cleaning was done, everyone gave their thanks and waved goodbyes. This, to Utau was just another long night. She sighed, running her fingers through the long, thick strands of her platinum blonde pigtails.

'_I wish you'd listen baka Ikuto. I want to help you, why won't you return my feelings?'_

Sanjou rubbed her back knowingly; she had also been a victim of unrequited love. Even if she could not fully understand the girl's own feelings of lost love, she'd try her best to console her at this point. "Utau-san, I think it'd be best if you just worry about your career for now. Ikuto can deal with his own issues."

The blonde wiped a single tear from her eye. "That's what I worry about most. I know there will come a day when I won't be able to save him." Sanjou's eye twitched thinking of how stubborn Utau was being. She knew that this was her brother and that she cared a lot about him but, even Sanjou knew that this fantasy relationship playing through the young girl's mind would never become a reality. They were siblings for god's sake!

Even if you thought that, you couldn't help but feel sorry for her when you looked at her teary, puppy dog eye's and pouty face. She was adorable. Sanjou wrapped her arm around the girl's shoulder. "Don't worry he'll be just fine where he is. Meanwhile, why don't you and I go out and celebrate?" Utau tilted her head in confusion. "For what?" Sanjou softly hit her on the top of her head. Utau flinched dramatically. "For a successful concert, of course! I swear you blondes never cease to amuse with your bluntness." Utau began to argue back but Sanjou had already gotten in her car and rolled up the window.

She looked out of her window at a fuming Utau and stuck her tongue out. "You know you are so lucky you're my manager, if I had it my way you'd be dead by now." Utau closed her door on the passenger side and buckled her seat belt. Sanjou rolled her eyes and smirked as she started up the engine. "Aren't I lucky?" The drive was silent except for the occasional nagging of Iru and the constant sighing from Dia. They'd been driving for half an hour until they finally reached their stop.

One Stop Shop Ramen. A local ramen shop just a couple blocks down the street from Easter.

Utau's mouth began to water just smelling all of the different flavors and spices used in the ramen. Sanjou giggled next to her and Utau crossed her arms trying to hide her blush. As she walked in, there were eyes everywhere sparkling and shining in her presence. Obviously 'huge' fans of her's. She sighed and sat down at the counter.

She'd admit that being famous had its perks but, with every good thing came a bad one. Sometimes she wished she could be normal again and be able to hang out with her old friends. Sadly, they'd also become another set of groupies and fans. "What would you like today ma'am?" She looked up to see a boy with jet black hair and light cocoa brown skin. He was dazzling but his eyes were what got her. They were the color of pure honey and seemed to dance in the moonlight.

He wore the usual worker's uniform of horizontal green stripes across the front of tan shirt and black slacks. Her stare made him uncomfortable and even Dia had to speak up. "Utau-Chan, you know it's rude to stare. Just speak up." She stared at him until Sanjou finally spoke up.

"She'd like the supreme ramen bowl with extra noodles, throw in a few shots of hot sauce, pepper, garlic, and don't go easy on the cheese." The boy scribbled it down as he shifted his body away from the blonde's uncomfortable stare.

"Will that be all?" Sanjou shook her head and the boy practically ran back to his station. Sanjou glanced over at Utau confused and mildly surprised. "What's up with you tonight?" The blonde shook her head and pondered to herself the identity of the ramen employee.

_So, guys how'd you like it? Good, bad, neutral? I think the next chapter will have Amu at the psych's office. Give me some ideas, I'm open to feedback. Well, it's getting late goodnight readers. :D_


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! I'm back and this time hopefully back into the old routine of updating on Saturdays. Well I've read some of your suggestions and thought hey, if their reading your story, why not make it more appealing to your audience? So, here's my first recap!

XXX

_Recap_

"_Will that be all?" Sanjou shook her head and the boy practically ran back to his station. Sanjou glanced over at Utau confused and mildly surprised. "What's up with you tonight?" The blonde shook her head and pondered to herself the identity of the ramen employee._

XXX

Amu's POV

"Hello, how are you today Amu?" I let my hair hang in my face as I adjusted myself in the office recliner seat. "I'm fine and you Dr. Namine?" I could see him starting up his computer as we both settled into the office.

"Eh, I guess it's going pretty good. I've been weaning myself off of coffee for the past week. Guess I haven't had the best jumpstarts in the morning. But, we're not here to talk about me so, what's been going on?" I shrugged inwardly; my days were hazy with visions and hopes of things that were never to be. What was there to say about what had been going on?

"Well, nationals are coming up soon and Ms. May wants us to work extra hard so we can get everything right. When we went earlier this morning to the competition one of my teammates kept walking by and bumping into me. I guess the others caught on to what she was doing and joined in so I didn't really have fun at competition today."

I could hear him typing away on his keyboard at the speed of light. He was typing so in sync with my mouth that it was as if he knew what I was going to say, when I said it. "Hmm and how did that make you feel? Did it make you want to act out or tell someone?"

I clenched my fists together, why did he ask such absurd questions?! He knew how I felt, he knew I didn't act out or even have the guts to tell anyone! I sighed and calmed myself; I had to let him know everything.

"It made me feel sad like I was all alone. I wanted to run out of there and find somewhere far away from civilization and die. I could never act out or tell someone, no one would listen."

_Tippity-tippity-tap. Tippity-tippity-tap. Boom, boom. _

The sounds of his fingers gliding and pounding against the keyboard never ceased to irk me. Why were these loud and obnoxious keys even made, they marked the sunken state of my agony. I grimaced getting tired of his persistent typing. "Why do you say that?"

I bit on the inside of my cheeks trying very hard to keep my composure. It wasn't easy to open up like this but; if I wanted to get better I had to. "Midori, whenever I told her something when I was little she'd roll her eyes and brush it aside. It was as if it didn't even matter that I was hurt or needed help…she never cared and I came to accept it."

When he was done typing what I said, his next question almost choked me up. "Can you provide with an example of this? Just a snippet if you'd like." I had to steady my breaths before I spoke again. Ran, Miki, and Suu were here to help me calm down, but they weren't much help, and boy did I need them right now! "Umm, err…" "It's okay; you can go at your own pace."

I could feel all those old memories coming back, all those horrible times withheld in my dreams bursting through my chest. Why was this so hard? "Ok but it's a bit gruesome. C…Can I…hold your hand?" There was a long pause and I looked down at my twiddling hands.

Oh, why did I always have to make such a fool of myself? To my own surprise he held out his hand and waited for me to speak. The first time I had ever seen him willingly remove himself from the computer screen. I gave a small smile and proceeded with my flashback.

XXX

_There were two figures standing in front of a well constructed building with a trapezoid roof and cube shaped buildings a single flag waving stood proudly in front of it. The two figures stood in front of said building and gazed in awe and horror at the sight of its mystical presence. _

"_Well, it's time for me to go Amu-Chan." The older woman squatted down and pecked the young girl on the cheek. "Goodbye Amu-Chan, I'll see you next week." The older woman turned around to get in her car when two small arms encircled her legs. "Please don't go Mommy. I'm scared." _

_The young girl's suspected mother rolled her eyes and tried to shake the little girl off her leg. "Amu-Chan, don't be ridiculous. I have to get to work now. Goodbye." The older woman's voice hardened as she tried and tried to shake the little girl off her and failed miserably each time. _

_On the other hand, the little girl had no intention of letting go. She could see the tall, cruel man that was surprisingly smooth with the women who worked at the convalescent home. Alas, even they did not know the man's true potential. The little girl's eyes flashed with fear as she thought of the immoral and disgusting things he'd done to her and she felt sick to her stomach. _

_Still, she held onto her mother's leg with an even firmer grip. "I don't want to go in there Mommy." Midori put on her best fake smile and turned her head slowly to face her daughter. "And just why, may I ask, is that?" Amu, not knowing sarcasm or irritation, saw this as her chance to expose the man. _

"_There's a man who does bad stuff to me, sometimes he even brings his friends and the teachers to aid him." Midori went off like a firecracker at this point as Amu looked innocently into her mother's fiery balls of hatred. She gave one big shake and she sent Amu flying onto the hard concrete of the sidewalk. _

"_COULD YOU STOP BEING SELFISH FOR JUST ONE MINUTE AND LET ME GO TO WORK?! I SWEAR YOU CAN BE SO NARCISSTIC AT TIMES!" Through the little girl's sobs, she could hear the loud roar of the purring engine as it made sharp turns and abrupt stops speeding away from the convalescent home._

_Her tears made the image of her mother leaving a blur as she lay dumbstruck on the sidewalk. Why hadn't she believed her? While she was crying a dark, looming figure casted a shadow above her and watched as she cried. The dark figure picked her up and over his shoulder in the blink of an eye. _

_She silenced her sobs into short, airworthy breaths for she knew what was to come. "I told you that no one would believe you but, it looks like you tried to tell anyway. I hope you're ready for your punishment." They walked down the ironically empty hall making it to their private lessons._

XXX

"Oh, now I understand. Because you've lost your mother's trust, you think that there is no other trust that you can gain. While we're on this topic, why don't you tell me a little about the man you described and his friends and the teachers and what they've done to you?" My breathing was becoming harsh as I took long, lung-filling breaths. The memories were coming back all too fast and I could feel my life flashing before my eyes.

He took my hand once again and urged me on with those sincere, worry filled eyes. "I don't know why but I never thought it'd be easy being the way my life is to tell anyone. That's why I've never told anyone because I, myself can't even handle nor process the things I went through." I began to sniffle and rub my nose gently.

Dr. Namine passed me a box of tissues lying neatly on his desk and I thanked him as my nose began to turn red. "There are days when I just don't even feel like living or carrying on with my little insignificant life and Dr. Namine, this is one of those days." He flinched; I could see him as he tried to stop himself before I could see.

My head swirled with memories beating through the inside of my head. I hadn't answered his question but he knew I was getting at something so he stayed quiet.

"Do you know how much it hurts for me to just go on with life normally when I've taken someone else's away and almost someone else's? I'm not entitled to any happiness, any joy, or any sort of fun. I've taken away theirs and I just hate myself everyday when I think about it."

I sat up in my chair and stared into his eyes. "I remember I asked my father 'What would you say if I was ever raped?' but I asked it hypothetically just to get his reaction, and do you know what he said to me?" Dr. Namine's eyes filled with anticipation and anxiety in those brown eyes that were now clouded making a sort of hazel.

I knew he didn't fully understand the situation but he kept quiet and waited patiently for my response. I caught my breath before I spoke again. "H-He told me that you can only be raped if you let someone rape you. Do you know how that feels to look at myself every morning knowing that I let some grown man touch me?! He was old enough to be my father and I let him in! I'm…I'm so stupid."

My back shook with uncontrollable weeping and I could feel a hand rubbing against my back gently. When my sobbing came to short sniffles I looked up to meet with the owner of that hand. "Dr. Namine…" His hand rose to my shoulder and his clouded brown eyes became soft and pitiful like everyone else's when they looked at me.

Those were the stares that I hated.

They angered me with their mocking tones of pity, and shunning me secretly knowing I'd never be able give that same glance to someone else. I wiped my misty eyes. "You can go home Amu-Chan, we can end your sessions early today. I'd request some rest this week." I averted those pitiful eyes he always seemed to give me and scurried out of his office.

As I walked through the corridors and past the main desk of the institution, a redhead stopped to make small talk with me. "Sayonara, hope to see you again." She smiled a warm, elegant smile. Mm, I envy her; she must have a perfect life. My nails pierced deep within my skin causing blood to trickle. Suu saw this and bumped my hand to signal me to stop.

"Just say bye Amu." I looked forward and followed Miki's orders. "Bye, nice to see you." As I walked through the revolving doors I could hear her make one last sly remark.

"Ugh, another psychotic bitch." I suppressed my sob and kept walking. This was not worth my tears.

XXX

It was T. ray's second business meeting of the summer. An event I'd always despised having to go to. I'd just go sit in his office the whole time and 'file' his documents. Right now, I was stretched out on his desk reading one of his magazines and I wondered if he actually read this rubbish. It was like reading tabloids for weight loss and get rich quick schemes.

They never worked and they were quite offensive in some ways. I rolled my eyes, really his business was thriving with every new company he merged with but he needed to rethink his plans. I f he wanted an internationally recognized business he'd have to have a sturdy backdrop for all financial dealings and keep tabs on profits of his different branches. Did he have any clue whatsoever of what he was doing?!

I could hear the voices of two men outside laughing, most likely about something immature and quite idiotic. I placed the magazine inside and closed T. Ray's desk drawer quickly. I hurried to one of the file cabinets and pretended as if I'd been documenting things the entire time. When I saw who the two people were I regretted ever taking the time to move from the comfort of the warm swivel chair.

"So this blonde chick's all staring at me and I'm like 'Damn, I know I look tasty but I'm not on the menu. Would you lay off?' and she just keeps staring!" My cousin snickered, I sneered. The nerve of this guy! He was a pompous, arrogant fool and he aggravated me until my nerves stood on end.

My cousin didn't make it any better. He laughed and agreed with every little thing my brother said and I began to believe that he didn't even hear what Tamaki was saying half the time. Nevertheless, Tamaki never ceased to entertain an audience. I rolled my eyes as he talked more nonsense. "Just stay calm Amu-Chan. It's not that serious." I took in Miki's advice and just grabbed my notebook and went into another room.

XXX

Ikuto's POV

"Ok everyone, ten minute break." The resounding echo of a woman's voice rang through the phone as the darkly colored man laughed nervously. "Heh heh heh, maybe fifteen just to be safe." Everyone assembled themselves in an orderly fashion and exited through the side doors of the meeting room. I could feel Yoru on my shoulder as I headed to the break room.

"Ikuto-san, we never do anything fun anymore. Can we do something other than going to that boring meeting, nyaa?" I shrugged at my nagging chara causing him to shift a little off balance. He whimpered as I simply smirked. "Yeah, we can go to the break room and get some snacks."

I could hear him sigh in a frustrated tone in my ear. "No, I mean outside of here." I turned my head slightly to peer at Yoru on my shoulder and flick him. "Oww! What was that for nyaa?" He could hear the agitation coursing through the veins in my shoulder he sat upon. "You know we can't go anywhere outside of Easter unless instructed by Kazuomi to do so."

He rubbed his nose and looked up at me. "That's never stopped you before…" I glared back at him. "Yoru." I growled slightly at him showing that I no longer wanted to talk about this for I knew where it would lead to. "Gomen, I was just saying."I flicked him again and heard him yelp in pain loudly in my ear. I grimaced, but showed no sign of emotion.

If I showed any sign of an emotion I was sure that Kazuomi would use it to his own extent. When we finally reached the break room, I could've sworn I was seeing things, hallucinating even. There was a girl sitting there quietly scribbling away in her notebook so engulfed in her writing that she hadn't even noticed me walking in.

Then again, no one really did.

What caught me off guard was the bubblegum pink hair. 'No,' I thought, 'don't even let yourself think about it. She's gone forever and you need to get over it.' Even with these thoughts in mind, I couldn't help my curiosity (Ha-ha! Sorry, just had to point out the pun here!).

I walked by slowly to see if I could catch a glimpse of her eyes but they were hidden by her luscious locks of pink hair hiding her face. All I could see was the outlining of her body from the chair. From where I was standing she had very well defined curves, a slightly dark peach tan, with a small, tender body and long, toned legs. "I can sense guardian eggs Ikuto."

I glanced over at Yoru briefly and turned my attention back to the unknown girl. I could tell he knew what I was thinking. I opened the fridge as a distraction so she wouldn't suspect that I was looking at her. She never changed position or looked as I grabbed a can of soda out of the refrigerator.

'Dammit, why won't she turn around?' I never got to see her face as I realized I was making it more and more obvious that she had a potential break room stalker. I exited before she actually turned around and caught me staring at her.

When I stepped foot outside of the room, I hadn't expected to be ambushed and I was trampled by my overly- excited-to see-me kid sister, Utau. "IKUTO!" She shrieked and I swore my hairs stood on end on my neck. After I got over my shock I finally pushed her off of me and regained my composure.

"Utau, could you say hi like a normal person for once. That gets really annoying after a while." She pouted with those big, fake puppy dog eyes she tried on me every time. I turned away and could feel her frowning. "Aw, Ikuto you're so mean!"She pouted as Dia flew next to her with the same bored expression she always gave. She rubbed her eyes and peered over at me through sleep filled eyes.

"Ikuto, you look as if you're up to no good as usual." I winced, how was this Utau's guardian chara? What dream did she wish to fulfill with such a blunt chara. "Hello to you too Dia." She shrugged and watched as Iru tried to tell Utau something. Utau nudged her out of the way by placing her finger on Iru's nose and walking past her.

"I wish you'd just do away with yourself like your useless counterpart. I never knew how much of a hindrance you both were to me." I couldn't really understand what either one of them was talking about, but I was pretty sure Utau had just insulted herself. Your guardian characters represented you and the dreams you had, calling a chara stupid would be equivalent to calling yourself and your dreams stupid.

Luckily for her, I hadn't pointed it out and watched as she walked to her dressing room. Iru hung her head low and began to float down to the ground. Dia flew over to her and began to speak to her. "You are Utau's weaker side and she only needs me. Do those words not sound familiar?" I could see Iru look up in shock but then hang her head again in embarrassment as Dia flew away with Utau.

I didn't dwell on the peculiar conversation for too long and started heading back to the meeting room, Kazuomi would be expecting me. I felt around in my pocket and felt something cold touch my fingertips. The Dumpty Key. I fingered the key and for some odd reason, it made me think of the girl in the break room and brought mass amounts of questions to my mind.

Who was she? Why was she here? Was she someone's daughter? A close friend? Overall, was she associated with Easter in any way? I shook them off and kept walking. I couldn't think about that now. I had too much to do and process.

XXX

"Ami-Chan, you know you're not supposed to leave the house without your father's or my permission." The preteen rolled her eyes while obnoxiously chewing her gum. "Ugh, would you guys just chill. It was just Brad's party." Midori's eyes widened. "Just Brad's party? And who, may I ask, is this Brad character?"

Ami slammed her phone down on the table with bewilderment shown on her face. "Just Brad party? Mom, he's like the cutest guy at school, his parties are a big deal plus he invited me. Why wouldn't I go?" Tsumugu sat back in his chair amused by the flashing female argument. They were all sitting at the dining room table watching their tween occasionally look up to only avert her eyes back to her phone screen.

Midori's eyes began to twitch, and after a while she became irritated and snatched the device out of her daughter's hands. She stood up menacingly before her as Ami gaped at her mother's actions. "What was that for?" Ami stood up from her seat with her hands on her unformed hips. Midori was growing impatient with her daughter's recent tomfoolery and intolerant respect.

"You are out of control young lady so I'm taking all electronic privileges away from you for a week!" Ami stamped her foot like a two-year-old and folded her arms. This isn't fair Mom! You're always trying to ruin my life!" Ami turned on her heels and ran up the stairs to her room. "That makes it two weeks!" Ami belly flopped onto her bed upset.

She grabbed a pillow, held it up close and screamed and kicking her arms and legs in a tantrum. 'It's not fair. Nee-Chan gets to do whatever she wants and doesn't get punished.' Ami pouted more until she'd realized her previous train of thoughts. She mentally slapped herself.

'Why would I even think that knowing her situation? She's punished every time she's looked upon.' The thought made the tween's diva attitude mellow into a more understanding, melancholy mood. A strangled weeping sound escaped her lips as she clenched her teeth together as a barrier. She could not - would not cry, not at this time, not with everyone here.

She could not let them hear the grieving of her dear sister, a dear girl that everyone seemed to despise. Ami pinched her nose together counting backwards from 10 trying to stop her breakdown. It created a funny ughn, ughn sound. A sound she'd become used to.

Finally, when she was done she scanned under her body to find Amu's book. After a few pats her eyes widened to the size of saucers. Where was the book? She flipped over and off the bed in a graceful, acrobatic movement. She looked under the bed, behind her dressers, in the closet, in her drawers, and finally back to her bed again.

Confused, she was tempted to ask her mother and father who would questionably answer back. She dared not. She knew only one person that would know the real purpose and worth of her finding the lost book. She clasped her hands against the sides of her head frantically causing her skin to roll down with her fingers. How could she have been so stupid? Leaving a precious object of her sister's out on the bed in the open.

Liable information, if found, would ruin her and her sister's life into more twists and turns than it already was. Once again, Ami flopped back onto her bed. She rubbed her trembling hand against her face. For now, she could only hope that no one would exploit the secrets within her dear older sister's book.

Well, I updated so tell me how it was. It's late again readers, goodnight!

:D R&R


	10. Chapter 10

His dark, forest green hair shimmered lovingly in the beautiful oranges, yellows, and reds of the afternoon sun. He sat under a willow tree reading a book as a docile wind gently lifted his page. He adjusted his square-rimmed glasses that hid his giddy sky blue eyes and flipped another page in his book. As he read, there were girls walking by fawning over him, fully infatuated by his persona and intellectual vibes.

"Eh, the cool but nerdy type I bet. Ah…sugoi, he looks so riveting." He sighed heavily while silently denouncing their attention. Looking up from the alluring tales of his book, he took in the ambiance of the park from which he was watching from the top of a hill. It was not as quiet as he wished it would be, but there was still a calm yet peaceful atmosphere.

The mothers were talking alongside each other as they pushed bulky strollers (while secretly getting in a workout), fathers watched their children from the benches as they enthusiastically spoke about sports and good players, and children ran through tunnels and climbed monkey bars all the while buzzing around happily. He gave a crooked smile as he watched them all interacting with each other.

"You almost look as if you're engaged with your surroundings and the world Kairi. Happy - it's a good look on you.'' Kairi released a small chuckle at his guardian chara's remark. His green hair pulled high into a ponytail surrounded by a white veil swayed as he laughed with his owner Kairi. His hands remained seemingly bonded together in his kimono as he tried to reach down and push the ball away that had rolled up to Kairi's feet. As he made his way over to the vibrant yellow-green ball, a girl around 11 or 12 with light brown hair that reached to the middle of her back and light brown eyes glistening with hints of gold ran up to him panting.

She placed her hands on her knees as her back arched with large breaths being taken. She peered up at Kairi and gave a cute, angelic smile. "Gomen, it gets hard to play with little kids when they haven't learned how to hit straight yet." Kairi nodded as his cheeks colored with light tints of pink, his guardian chara stared in confusion as he watched the two engage. She bowed and gave a small wave as she ran back to the playground with the other children. Kairi watched as her short legs pumped with each long step she took as she ran, her light brown hair flowing angelically behind her.

He was oddly interested, but confused at the same time with this girl. She looked awfully familiar like someone he'd met a long time ago. Who was she? Was she affiliated with someone he'd known before? Why was she outside on such a nice day playing with little kids? "Ne Kairi, doesn't she remind you of Hinamori-san just a bit?" He sat there flabbergasted and caught up in something other than the mystery novels that he usually read. She couldn't be related to Amu. She'd never mentioned her before.

"Musashi, I highly doubt that she could be related to Hinamori-san. She never mentioned having a sister before and…we shouldn't talk about her. My samurai status has been afflicted ever since I've gotten tangled up in this mess with her and Yukari and Easter. It's her fault for all of this suffering and confusion." Musashi simply shook his head at Kairi, even in his late teen adolescence he was still a castigating, petulant little boy that would hide behind his books if no one cared to pay attention to him.

Musashi sat on his shoulder and spoke with his head turned in the opposite direction of Kairi's ear. "I know, it's a touchy subject even I must agree with you on that. But, even with that said, isn't a samurai always pure and true and takes credit for whatever he has done, good or bad. Not making a scapegoat for every problem that comes his way and chiding someone if they haven't fulfilled something to their own specific wants. I, myself, believe that that is a true samurai in my eyes."

Musashi turned back to see Kairi's head hanging low as he finished his mini speech. He hid his wavering eyes behind his locks of forest green hair and thought over what Musashi had said. _Is that what I've been doing all along? Ignoring my true duties of a samurai and dwelling in the past of my own mistakes and slip-ups? How can I ever be a true samurai if I never am able to admit to myself my own mistakes? _Musashi could see Kairi behind his hair as he bit his lip and shuffled his feet along the grass.

He was obviously thinking long and hard about what he'd been doing to himself and others all these years. "Besides, had you ever considered asking her about her family?" The answer was obviously no and Musashi hovered and watched as Kairi thought more and more about himself. He wanted so badly to float over and reassure him that he was only doing what he thought was presumed to be right, but he couldn't. This was something that not even Musashi or Sanjou could help out with.

He let him sit and overlook himself a bit more before Kairi got up and began walking towards no where in particular. The girls watching him from the sides of the hill watched as he walked away from his spot on top of the hill in disappointment. Their 'secret' spectacle had left, now who were they to gaze lovingly at? Kairi avoided their pouts and desperate gazes, he was too busy analyzing his self.

Was this why it seemed as if he'd been stuck for so many years? Could he not move on with his life because of this one frustratingly, mind tingling pink-haired girl?! Why had she made such a powerful impact on his and other lives? Why did so many things remind him of her? Why was she so important to him and his every move?! Kairi's walking increased to an inhumane speed as he twisted and turned intertwining between streets and corners and alleys. Musashi could barely keep up, and he was flying!

Kairi's heart thudded in his ribcage and he swore it was about to burst not just from his walking speed but from the emotions creeping around the edges of his heart. Why did it feel like this? Were his arteries clogged? Was this how a heart attack felt? He stopped in front of a large building to catch his breath. His heart was pumping fast as if he'd been in a marathon, his lungs burned from deprivation of air, his legs ached from walking so fast, and his heart ached with an unknown feeling tugging at all sides of it.

He leaned against the building for support as he huffed and puffed large amounts of air. He leaned against the building with his arm propped up against the wall for support. Musashi was growing worried and flew over to him as fast as he could. His face had turned red from exhaustion and lack of air as he sputtered short breaths trying to form a sentence.

"W-Why do I feel like this whenever I, or someone else, brings her up? My heart gets this weird feeling and my stomach does flips and I can't concentrate anymore. I-I think I need…t-to get checked."

Musashi smiled knowingly at Kairi as he tried to catch his breath. He floated down to his face and stared into those sky blue orbs.

"Baka Kairi, you're still not a man just yet. You're in love with Hinamori-san."

XXX

Ami's POV

"That's enough practice for today everyone. You all need to work on your swings and grunts when you get home, ok?" Smiles were plastered over every little boy and girl's face. They were so happy to be at tennis practice and play with each other. There were usually two or three altercations with the children every other day, but nothing that I couldn't quickly handle. "Sayonara mina!" I waved goodbye to everyone as they walked by and high-fived or either hugged me goodbye. As the other kids left, I saw one boy around my age that hung around after practice.

Being the nice person that I am, I walked over to him and tried to be friendly and introduce myself. I walked up to him and was in awe with his beauty. He had blonde hair and blue eyes that made you want to stare at him all day. He wore a white jacket with white pants and a blue turtleneck underneath, which I thought was very odd seeing that it was the summertime. He was interesting to look at and gave an aloof expression as I held out my hand.

"Konnichiwa, ogenki desu ka? My name is Ami-Chan what's your's?" He glared at my hand as if it was a venomous, bloodthirsty creature coming forth to bite him. The atmosphere was weird and I put my hand down knowing he wasn't going to shake it. I scratched the back of my head as I tried to think of something to talk about. Sadly, the intriguing boy beat me to it.

"Most illnesses are spread through hand contact, millions of germs dwell on your hands and form new diseases and illnesses for doctors to try to prevent. Shaking hands is not only unsanitary, but also unsafe. I think you should just spare the doctors." He stared back at me with a serious facial expression and I began to walk away fuming. If he didn't want to touch me that much why couldn't he just be polite and say it?! Geez, there was no need to be rude about things!

I peered down at my pale hand, was it really that dirty? I blushed thinking of even considering what the mysterious boy had even said. He was arrogant and obnoxious, why should I care what he said? No one worries about germs when trying to be polite! And to think I thought he was cute!

I finally reached the gates to my house and opened my front door. "I'm home." There were no shouts in reply, no one was home. Suddenly an idea popped in my head, even if I presumed that no one was here, there was a chance someone could be here.

Amu-Chan! She never spoke anyway and I highly doubted she'd answer back if I announced that I was home. I hopped up the stairs happily, I'd finally have some alone time with Nee-Chan! I slowly opened the door to her room and peeked in just a little. After seeing no actions to stop me, I kicked the door open all of the way and stood there disappointed that no one was there. I pouted and sat on her bed. Reaching under her pillow, I found one of her many notebooks that she took time to write in.

I opened to the first page and sat there bewildered. Why did she have to write stuff like this? It was always so sad. Was she ever happy? Still, I made no effort to place the book back in its place. As I was reading, a piece of yellow notepad paper fell out of the book and I quickly scooped it up to read it. It was riveting, but a sad read all together.

_Death. It's a thought that's always crossed my mind but has never been followed through. It's scary and I'm horrified by the thought of it. Even then, my desire to end my life becomes stronger within everyday. But dying for the sake of someone else's feelings has to be good, right? Even if these personal matters were to concern you, I'd like you to not get involved if you are sane enough to leave me in my own pool of insanity to drown. For years it has been like this. It doesn't matter if anyone noticed or tried to help me and seek for higher means for me, but I'm just not right. I think it started when I was born with everyone's protests and denounces of me. And even then, who knows what might've happened had that 'merry' moment of life granted upon me never happened. My days are becoming longer and harder, I'm just so sick and tired of the lies, the secrets, the fake smiles, the burden I must carry, the alienation and taunt that I must face everyday, and just life itself nowadays. Believe me, I've never wanted to be like this and I've always feared that my sins would come back to haunt me. It's just that, the cost is more than I could ever think to bear. For once, I want to be able to do something right and not have to always ruin the lives of others through my own hair-brained schemes. I don't want to be the scapegoat but I know I have to. It's only right that I am. So many casualties have occurred because of me and it wouldn't feel right to live knowing that I've taken the lives of others just to do so. I just want the world and my family to finally be a better place and for everyone to be happier, and it has been brought to my attention that it can only be this way if I'm not in it. Therefore, before I die I want to say this, Ami-Chan I'm sorry for not being the big sister I was supposed to, I'm a failure and I can completely understand if you hate me and never wanted to see me again. There is nothing more that I'd wish but to take your place in front of that car on that dreary, emotion-filled night. Tamaki-senpai, I'm sorry for not being a normal little sister like you'd wished for me to be. I always got in the way and made you and your friends angry with me. Aunt Miyoshi and Uncle Tanner, I'm sorry for taking your daughter away from you, it was stupid of me to act before thinking. I'd do anything to take back that moment and turn the tables so it would be me drowning and suffering on that operating table. Midori, T. Ray, Tsumugu, I am deeply sorry for causing you all so much trouble and for having you miss out on your dreams because of me. With this departure, I hope that you can truly fulfill those lifelong dreams that you've always had before me. Dr. Namine, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. I know you wanted to help me so badly but I ended up being dishonest with you in the end. Ran, Miki, Suu, I'm sorry I'll never get to know my true self and how I would've been with your help. Maybe if I'd fulfilled my dreams and actually was sure of myself I wouldn't have to result to the inevitable. Most of all, I want to apologize to Miyu. I crushed your dreams of becoming a highly acclaimed Olympic swimmer and of becoming a highly praised, loved child. Words cannot describe my pain and guilt for your wrongful death. So, if you'd like to classify this as a 'suicide note' then yes, it is in fact one. But, keep this in mind, it's for the best and done with good intention. I want to make the world a better place. I want you all to be happy. I will rot in the fiery pits of hell where I should never have been released from and know that this is how it should've been all along. And even if you all don't, I do, in fact love all of you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Amu_

Before I could stop them, my tears had already soaked through the paper. I knew her situation had been bad from what I'd been reading in the books I could understand, but not to the extent of suicide. The ink was red and once my tears hit the paper the ink splattered and smudged around making the writing almost unreadable. Only if it could've been. The paper was a bit ragged and crumpled as if she'd tried to throw it away, so I knew it had to be a bit older than I thought it was.

My fingers caressed the creased corners of the paper as I kept reading the note over and over.

_The burden I must carry, the inevitable, my pain and guilt for your wrongful death, Miyu, T. Ray, Aunt Miyoshi, Uncle Tanner, Tamaki, Dr. Namine, Ran, Miki, Suu, hair-brained schemes, protests and denounces of me, a scapegoat, help her._

What could Amu-Chan be talking about? Who were these people and why did she need help? I don't remember Mama talking about her going to the doctor before. But then again, when does she ever really talk about her? Was I really that selfish and attention-craved when I was younger that I couldn't see the suffering of my own sister happening before my eyes. As I lay sprawled across Amu's bed, I could hear someone unlocking the front door and having a rather hard time with the lock. I quickly wiped my tears and rushed out of her room to the living room and feigned as if I was watching TV all along.

It was probably Dad at the front door anyway. The door finally opened I could hear a shrill, over enthusiastic voice making itself down my way. "Ami-Chan, my little sparrow! You scare me when you're all alone like this!" I rolled my eyes as he bear hugged me off of the couch I sat comfortably on. "Papa, I was fine. Besides, I was only alone for a few minutes before you came." He hugged me tighter and closer to him as he pulled me in for a longer hug. "And I was so scared for you! You know all boys are monsters nowadays!" I finally got him off of me and shrugged.

"Someone's got to love 'em." Big mistake saying that, Tsumugu became hysterical at my words and began to ''cry''. "WAAAH, Ami-Chan is in love with someone Mama! I'm losing my baby already!" I hadn't noticed my mother walk in until she cast her shadow menacingly above me and gave an evil glint. "Ami-Chan, you have a boyfriend?" Her voice became dangerously low as I feared for my life. I waved my hands in front of myself in a frantic matter as to try to cover myself.

"No, no, no, it's not like that. Papa's just over exaggerating again Mama." She smiled as her aura became friendly again and calmed my dad down. I walked in the kitchen to grab something to eat just at the same time as my mother walked past me and got a whiff of me. "Ami-Chan, is that you? You wreak!"

I blushed and excused myself to go and wash up. I gathered my things for the shower and let the hot water glide my down my aching body. I couldn't think straight since I'd read Amu's suicide note. I had to find out more about her and those people she apologized to in her note. I had to know why she felt the way she did. The thought of her killing herself didn't settle with me and I wouldn't let it. I had to find out about her past, no matter what it took.

XXX

Amu's POV

"I'll have another job lined up for you next week, kid. You need to perfect whatever the director told you was wrong because that'll be my ass on the line." I nodded as I lugged my dance bag and myself in the backseat of his sleek, black Corolla. It smelled like new car and the seats were made of a type of Italian leather I had never seen before. "You know, I think if you were more social that it'd be easier for you to catch on more quickly."

I raised my head and cocked it to the side just a little. "But, the director said I did just fine with handling the choreography and the lighting changes." I was hopelessly confused in the backseat of his car as he bellowed out long hoots of laughter. He put on his black shades and put his key in the ignition. "You act as if you haven't been in this business for 7, going on 8 years already kid. That's their way of saying you barely made it today. I swear you can be really dense at times Hinamori." I shrugged and huffed a breath of arrogance.

"And I swear you can be a real pain in the-"

He held his finger in the air shushing me as he took another phone call. "Yeah, it's Jim Patriano baby. Listen, I've got this kid here that you'd just love to see. I'm telling you, producers are lining up to see my client and time is a-wasting Suzie." I buckled myself in as we exited the parking lot of the major casting and production building. Today was such a long day of rehearsals and filming that I felt like I could just faint in the back of Mr. Jim's car.

He was a fast talking business man that knew how to maneuver and talk circles around you until you could only compromise with him. He always wore a black suit with a red tie and a white button down shirt. His hair was auburn and slicked back with a fancy gel that he always used. His brown eyes were hard, but surprisingly gentle and he was a nice guy if you got to know him. He was trying to land me a spot on the Today show for a chance to dance in a really famous hall for people wanting to get props where they'd be shooting next week.

Every time we'd get through with a job with either modeling or dancing he'd tell me about the comments the producers left on my resume and how they'd help me become a highly acclaimed child star. I didn't really care about the fame as long as I could get my own credit cards and stay away from home as long as possible. I cupped my chin with my hand as I placed my elbow in the crook of the window, it was a shame that I had to result to this to get away from people that were **supposed** to love me. The wind blew past me in the backseat of the car as I took in the smells of the upscale town.

Fresh paint, freshly mowed lawns, foods I had never even heard of from a nearby restaurant, and the strong scents of perfume and cologne in the air. "Ooh, ooh look Amu-Chi! Look!" Ran and my other charas had popped out of my bag and began to gaze out the window in awe. Their faces glowed with fascination and wonder as they floated beside me. There was a dog running away from a group of kids with a leash around its neck.

The kids were growing frantic and weary as the dog flew past them on its hind legs happily with its long, golden fur flying majestically. Though it may sound peculiar, I thought of how that dog must live the high life. So happy, surrounded by people that loved him as much as he loved them. Unlike me. My eyes glazed over in longing, even dogs had happier lives than me. I turned away from the window and hung my head low, my eyes stung with tears threatening to pour over.

_You act as if you don't know these things already._

**I know, but I just thought-**

_You thought what? That someone actually liked you? That someone was actually willing to, out of their own leisure, be with you? You're one psychotic bitch!_

A tear rolled down my cheek and my breath hitched silently. My charas could feel the mood change in the car and sat down in my lap. I balled my gray Aeropostale sweatpants in my hands as another tear fell on my fist. "Amu-Chan…" Miki looked up at me in sympathy and I knew that she could understand. I tried to smile, but it wasn't enough to fool them that I was okay.

Suu cocked her head to the side and looked at me skeptically with that same stern look she'd always given me. She put her finger on her chin and gave me a sincere look of worry, something my mother nor my father had never been able to show. "Amu-Chan, onegai shimasu. Please tell us what's wrong." I would've broken down right there and told her everything had we not been in the car with my manager who was swerving around corners and bends recklessly.

That look Suu gave me could've melted me right there with her watery green eyes looking straight through my soul, just like someone I'd known years ago could have. My throat was beginning to dry from my overwhelming amount of hormones at the moment and I was suddenly, for the first time, thankful for Mr. Jim's reckless driving that had gotten me home so early. I grabbed my bag and slid out of the backseat with my charas following in suit.

My navy blue Vans hit the concrete sidewalk of the Hinamori residence and my pink toenails (Ugh!) were shown no mercy as my feet were encircled by a puddle of soapy water. There were cars in the yard, but both were gleaming like new and neither were wet. I shrugged and guessed that Tsumugu had washed their cars while I was gone and proceeded into my house.

"Hey!"

I turned around abruptly at the source of the sound. It was none other than Mr. Jim calling me back to his car. I walked over to the passenger side braving through the puddle soaking my poor shivering toes and looked through the window. "Yeah?" He removed his phone from his ear and wagged his finger in my face. "Don't forget - practice that routine." He was serious, but joking at the same time but I nodded and watched as his Corolla sped away. I sighed and trudged into my "house" and walked up the stairs to my room not bothering to care if they acknowledged me or not.

I grabbed a notebook out of my drawer and began to write in it. I had become suspicious of Ami, Tsumugu, and Midori finding and reading my books a while ago and began hiding them in different places and trying out different languages in each one. Miki, Ran, and Suu hovered over my shoulder as they watched me write at my small desk area. I flicked the switch on my lamp desk and let my creativity flow.

_It's yet another day that I don't comply with my suicidal thoughts and consider Dr. Namine's suggestions. Contradictory to this, I still cut. No matter what I have to. It's become an addiction, and like any other drug addict, I'll take any measure to cut. Every day I drag myself around town trying so hard to keep my distance from people I've always loved dearly and silently wondering whether these unrequited feelings will ever be returned. I can't help but relive my past every night and wake in a feverish and frantic state. Some nights, I'm so engulfed with insomnia that I watch the clock nearest to my bed and watch as my life passes by me. Sometimes, I dream of being able to escape from my problems and be free, but I wake up shortly after my past gobbles me up in its misery and agony. There are days when I want nothing more than to fling myself off of the nearest bridge and end everything right there. But alas, I can't. I'm too much of a coward to do it and when I finally feel apt to complete this I'm always caught in the stickiest of situations. Not even Miki, Ran, and Suu know of these personal matters. I wouldn't want them to fret anymore than they already do, I've already caused them enough grief. Even now, I can't even believe that I was able to retrieve them after I'd so badly disowned them. And then it all begins to sink in. The night of the accident replays in my head all the time and makes my stomach churn at the sight of Ami's fragile body. I can't stomach myself most of the time just thinking about it. I can't ever express the regret of my actions fully because I'll never be able to erase those scars put on to her. I wanted Ami to be spared, to have a chance so that she wouldn't end up like me. Abandoned and all alone because of sheer stupidity. I lost all of my real friends a long time ago because of this and I didn't want Ami or anyone else to end up the same. Thankfully, she's okay and nothing severe has happened. But even with that, I can never feel right because I've still taken away the life of another. Miyu. I miss you every day and I hope that you're reading this from your little spot in heaven. I want you to come back to me, but I know that you never will be able to and I cry every day for you. You fill my dreams and my body with your kind, friendly spirit and I know that you'll be with me forever. I just wish that I had a family that loved me like you did. Even if my "family" wasn't on my side, you were always there for me and I can't thank you enough for your words of wisdom to me every day. I pray for you and I love you Miyu-Chan. Who knows, one day I may be able to see you again._

I looked to my right and saw my charas sleeping soundlessly on top of one another and smiled genuinely. I flicked the switch on my desk lamp and went to bed.

XXX

OMG! I am so sorry for the late update! I tried to make the chapter a little bit longer for you guys' sake. I think this chapter is pretty decent. I'll start working on the next chapter as soon as possible. Goodbye readers! C:


	11. Chapter 11

_**OMG! After I uploaded the last chapter, I realized something. I forgot the recap! So sorry. Here's your recap: **_

_I looked to my right and saw my charas sleeping soundlessly on top of one another and smiled genuinely. I flicked the switch on my desk lamp and went to bed._

Rima's creamy blonde hair whisked behind her in a graceful, princess-like motion as she walked as fast as she could on her short legs to the bookstore. The petite blonde had only been power walking for a few brief minutes, but what was just a few minutes of walking in reality did hours of cardio and strengthening on her small body.

Her breaths were harsh and uneven as she hurried to her favorite bookstore. There not a minute to lose before the other "Twi-hards" got the autographed edition of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 by Stephenie Meyers. This determination kept her lungs pumping, her heart pounding, and left Kusukusu in the dust. Her guardian chara huffed behind her in an attempt to keep up.

"Rima-tan, wait!"

Rima took one glance behind her and caught a glimpse of her exhausted chara. Beads of sweat twinkled down her shiny face as her chest heaved up and down slowly in her red polka-dotted clown suit. Still, Rima did not hesitate in her steps. Kusukusu gathered a large breath of air into her lungs and followed, as best as she could, in suit behind her bearer.

It was early, 7 AM early, no teenager in their right mind would be up this early during their summer vacation. Rima crossed her fingers hopefully as she turned around a bend to the bookstore. She squeezed her eyes shut in hopes that she'd be early enough to get a reasonable position in line. The petite blonde opened her big, fawn brown eyes as a wave of relief washed over her. None but two people had entered the store, so she assumed. But, this assumption would keep her hopes high.

She ran inside the with the joy of a seven-year-old on Christmas day strewn across her face, happy was an understatement and elation was not a suitable word either. She ran up to the clerk and he could see it in her eyes, all Twi-hards had this look of fascination, that certain spark in their eyes whether they were on Team Jacob or Team Edward. There was no difference in their love for the popular series. And to the store clerk's dismay, she was another one of them. Oh, how he hated his job. He breathed a heavy sigh, and gave her the directions before she could even request what she wanted.

"In the fiction section of the genres romance, supernatural, and drama if I remember correctly. Please feel **free **to ask for my help if you need anything." There was an extra emphasis on the word "free" and she and her chara could tell that he didn't want to be bothered with anything she had going on. Rima shook her head eagerly and practically skipped over to the listed section.

There it was, the beauty sitting there right before her basking in all its glory. The final part to the Twilight saga autographed by the author herself. She quickly grabbed it fearing that she may lose it if she were not fast enough. Her eyes sparkled in wonder and awe as she read the cover: FULL INTERVIEW WITH STEPHENIE MEYERS, BONUS DELETED SCENES FROM THE ORIGINAL TWILIGHT MOVIE, FUN STICKERS OF YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS, AND A POSTER OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA CAST! Her eyes beamed as she held the book closer to her chest.

It was every fan's dream and it was all in this little book for only $35! Could you believe it?!

Rima could hear Kusukusu snickering from aisles away and she glared in the direction of the sound. She followed her guardian chara's voice over to the comics section and grabbed her by the collar. "Would you stop? Don't you think it'd be weird if someone walked by and saw a floating comic book and heard an invisible giggling voice?" The antic-loving chara cut her eyes at her bearer.

"I think it'd be weirder if you were seen talking to yourself holding an imaginary object in your hands!" Rima winced, Kusukusu had never spoken in such an aggravated tone towards her and this was petrifying. The once fun-loving, giggly chara was now avoiding the petite blonde's gaze with the most infuriated expression. The clown chara's eyebrows finally relaxed themselves and her face calmed.

"Gomen, Rima-tan, I didn't mean to be so harsh. Look, I found a cool gag manga for you." Rima took the book from Kusukusu's tiny hands. As she began to flip through the pages of the gag manga, a smile spread across her face as she read. The clown chara glided swiftly into the baby blue pocket of her bearer's doll-like dress. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a flash of pink. Her eyes flashed with curiosity as she lingered in the spot in which was the last place she'd seen that familiar shade of pink.

The alluring scents of honey extracts filled and tingled her miniature nostrils with a sensational delight; she couldn't help herself, she was caught up in the rapturous scent. As to not be seen, she hid behind a nearby bookshelf to eavesdrop on the familiar pink-haired girl. "Ah Amu-Chan, I always knew you were a sucker for supernatural romance." A blue, artsy-looking chara hovered nearby the flushed pink-haired girl.

"Yeah, yeah! Amu-Chan is always putting up her act but she's really a softie at heart desu~!" The girl's face reddened as she picked up the limited edition Breaking Dawn movie novel while trying to ignore the air-headed green chara's comment.

"Don't worry Amu-Chan, we'll help you embrace that side of yourself sooner or later!" The pink chara's hands burst with sparks of pink as pompoms appeared in her tiny hands. "FIGHT, FIGHT AMU-CHAN! BECOME A GIRL THAT'S SUPER STRONG!" The pink-haired girl's cheeks flashed through ten different shades of red. She turned her back facing them as she failed miserably to cover her flushed face behind her collarless white jean jacket.

"You guys are going to be the death of me…" She spoke in a hushed tone as to not attract any attention to herself. They beamed modestly behind her as they brushed against her shoulder lovingly. "Better us than yourself, right?" The artsy chara sat atop her shoulder as she winked at her bearer. The girl played with the hem of her peach satin shirt that her reached her upper thigh. It was hard to tell from the early morning sunlight , but it looked as if a hint of sadness draped over those honey golden eyes of hers.

"You guys…"

When Kusukusu was finally done eavesdropping, she headed over to Rima at the checkout counter and was practically beaming. The joker, Amu was back! Rima, catching her star-gazed expression, studied her skeptically. "What are you so giddy about?" The clown chara giggled frivolously at her bearer. "Oh, nothing."

XXX

They, meaning the former Guardians, were all standing outside of the gates of Seiyo Elementary. It was a breath of fresh air taking in all the good memories created here. But with all good things, there came bad. It was true, that she hadn't been around for years, but the memory of her abrupt departure of the amazing girl them all deeply. From the Guardians to their charas, Easter, fellow classmates, rivals, and maybe even some of the teachers and mentors had all been impacted by her absence.

Still, even with the fragile mood, Kusukusu was still beaming. She'd seen her and she couldn't wait to tell everyone the news. Tadase, Rima, Yaya, Kukai, and Kairi stood there in awe and comfort at their old school. Their charas Pepe, Kiseki, Daichi, and Musashi sat on the shoulders of their bearers. Looking to the side, they saw the untouched construction site next to the school. Nothing had been worked on since her absence. Had everything stopped when she left?

To lighten the mood, they began to speak about their past frivolously. "Aah, the good days. Reminds me of the day Kukai and I met. He was out on the field sobbing like a baby when -" Daichi's mouth came into contact with two coarse, and rather large fingers that clamped down harder on his lips every second. "I swear I told you this before - everything does not have to be reminisced you big blabbermouth!"

Kukai's flushed expression and somewhat harsh tone had sent them all into a tizzy and caused them to double over in laughter. Even Rima, the Ice Queen, was fazed by the unintended joke. Maybe she could grow to like them.

"That reminds me of when Tadase and I met. So un-kingly, not even close to princely. A sad sack of noting that I doubted -" Tadase, in the midst of all the newfound laughter was now embarrassed. "Kiseki, I'm sure I wasn't that bad." Kiseki huffed arrogantly at his bearer. "Yeah, and you'll one day prefer chocolate over vanilla. You were a scrawny bag of bones nowhere near fit for the throne."

Tadase's cheeks became crimson as his friends flew into another fit of laughter. Kusukusu, in all the confusion, had fled away to nowhere in particular to escape the rowdy scene. She wanted so badly to tell them all the news, but the atmosphere was not one to randomly burst out with the secret. As she flew away, she could've sworn she heard the faintest sound of Rima's voice beckoning her.

Ignoring this, she finally found her way to Tsukasa's planetarium. Once she managed to open the doors, his friendly, smiling face met hers. "Good afternoon little one, how's it going lately?" She tried to keep her composure as best as she possibly could before bursting out with excitement.

"U-Um, not bad. You?" He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "You seem to have a lot on your mind Kusukusu, what's wrong?" She couldn't hold it in anymore and he could tell as she tried to refrain herself from yelling. "I saw Amu-Chan and Miki and Ran and Suu while I was at the bookstore Rima-tan this morning! She's all grown up now and her hair is really long, and she even looked a little bit sad, too! But, OH MY GOSH I SAW HER TSUKASA, I SAW HER!"

Tsukasa smiled gently at her enthusiasm and shook his head politely. He pulled out a stack of cards and began to sit down in one of the chairs summoning the clown chara to follow in suit. When she was finally next to him he began to shuffle through the cards. "I have also noticed the Joker's movements." He flipped through the stack of cards easily as he shuffled through the deck of cards.

"Before, when she had first arrived her card was creased and wrinkled and her pathway through the stars was also unidentified. I had never seen such a dull star." He continued dealing out the deck until he found the remnants of the card he was looking for. Her card, the Joker. "Through the course of the year, I couldn't keep track of her path, I also lost her card and she eventually fell off course losing herself. When I was finally able to find her card, this was all that was left of it."

He showed the dismantled, flimsy card to the clown chara and watched as her facial expression changed. She no longer saw her arrival as something happy, but now it seemed like it was full of regret. He ruffled her hair with his pointer finger and smiled down at her. "Don't feel bad now, it's okay that you're happy about her arrival. It's just that Hinamori-san has a lot more to learn before she can reveal her true self to everyone just yet. Even now, I can see her dimly lit star coming back into focus."

He pointed to a star in the planetarium barely recognizable as a speck of dust. Kusukusu praised him for his keen eyes, she would have never found it if it weren't for him. But, that also meant that if her star was shining dimly, she was also barely hanging onto herself and her guardian characters. She could possibly lose them. The clown chara's eyes were dim and didn't show their usual brightness. Tsukasa tilted her tiny chin in his finger and gave her a look of concern.

"It's ok little one. You can tell me." She sighed through her nose. "I don't know, but when Amu-Chan said her charas were going to be the death of her they said 'Better us than you.' It was weird." Kusukusu looked up into Tsukasa's eyes and waited for his response. As his lips parted to respond Rima and the other Guardians burst through the door.

They were all obviously tired from running around frantically trying to find her. Rima gave her the most gut-wrenching glare she'd ever seen and the clown chara gulped as she squirmed farther into the lap of Tsukasa. He laughed softly and waved them all over into seats in the planetarium. "Come in everybody, Kusukusu and I were just watching the stars movements. It's coming close to the summer solstice." He winked at her as the others began to file into their seats.

XXX

Ikuto's POV

I sighed as I leaned back into the comfort of my leather recliner. Another day of boring office work at Easter under Kazuomi's constant watch. He'd installed security cameras a few summers ago after I "accidentally" fell off of the balcony and ended up at the park. I stretched my arms out trying to release the kinks in my back.

Surprisingly, your back could get really sore from sitting in the same position all day doing nothing. Nothing. Something that I'd been doing for most of my life under Kazuomi's mentoring. Why was he so insistent on trying to retrieve the Embryo? We weren't going to find it anytime soon without the purification of the millions of x-eggs he had sitting in various amounts of boxes in the lab. I'm pretty sure that those three idiotic scientists could do anything to restore the eggs.

Did they not realize the children they were putting at stake just to receive their own selfish wishes? Their dreams had been shattered, destroyed even. They'd never know what they wanted to be now.

I glanced over at another stack of papers and let my head fall onto the table making a loud thumping sound. I could hear Yoru in my desk drawer nodding off as usual, he was a free-spirited cat chara that was unusually annoying at times but was very dependable when needed. He basically could do whatever he wanted around here and not hear a single word about it. I nudged him with one of my knuckles, if only I could be as free as him.

I flicked him on his nose to wake him up, to his disappointment his eyes shot open as he awoke from a deep sleep. "Yoru, get off of the files. You'll wrinkle the papers." He rubbed his sleepy eyes, obviously stirred by my voice. "Ah Ikuto, you're no fun anymore, nya." I shot daggers at him and I could tell he regretted what he said the minute it slipped from his tongue.

I flicked him again square in his nose and watched him flinch in pain. "And you would know exactly why." I grabbed a stack of wrinkled papers (thanks to Yoru) from my office drawer and began to file them and check off anything important-looking. God, how I hated Kazuomi for doing this. If it wasn't for his overbearing and conniving ways I'd be free of this company and would have been searching for my father already.

I'd wanted to for a long time, but now I'd never have the chance. If it hadn't been hinted before, my past and present has been a bit rocky for a little while now. Even before I'd ever met Tadase and the other Guardians things had seemed a bit bumpy for me. I sighed and leaned back in my chair nonchalantly, it was only one person that could relieve me of the stress that was slowly piling on top of me.

But, she was gone now and there was nothing I could do. People had to move on to new horizons and try new things and leave everything in the past. I wish that was my case because it seemed that as time moved on, my past kept lurching forward swallowing me in its agonizing shadow. No matter how I tried to escape it, it always seemed to gain the upper hand and I'd be in the same position as before.

I looked up to see that my door was slightly ajar, as I walked up to it to close it, I swore that I could've seen a familiar figure breeze past. That waist-length silky pink hair, those long creamy legs, that petite frame, her tall, slinky body. I rubbed my eyes until they burned with my palms and tried to shake the image out of my head. I thought I was just daydreaming, reminiscing about her as I always did. But this time, her image just wouldn't go away.

It had to be her! No one else that I've ever **met** had pink hair. I almost stopped breathing when I saw her walking briskly past Kazuomi. How could she not notice him? How could he not notice her? Was I still daydreaming? My body reacted before I had the chance to decide, and like any other cat, I let curiosity get the best of me and I realized that I was following her from a safe distance.

It felt like I was in a trance as I watched her porcelain doll figure guide me through the works of the Easter corporation. "It has to be her this time, nya…" I nodded slightly at Yoru's blunt comment. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to keep out perverted thoughts. I turned my head slightly not being able to help but wonder about what great things puberty had done to her. There were curves in places they weren't 7 years ago.

I licked my lips, her scent was intoxicating. A perfect blend of honey extracts and strawberry preservatives. It was almost humorous how her scents matched the color of her hair and eyes. I hid around a corner to avoid her sudden gaze, she must've sensed me following her because she whipped fast enough to almost catch me tailing her. When she turned around, I realized I was holding my breath.

I now had clarity that it was her, those honey eyes sparkled with the same hint of sadness I'd seen that unfortunate night. I could hear the rhythmic beat of her heels on the marble floor as she headed to one of the designated meeting rooms where I suspected she'd find her connection to these affairs. Now that I think about it, why was she here?

I don't remember seeing her at any of the meetings before, so what in the world could she be here for now? I stopped myself, I didn't want to become entangled in her world as I had before. I'd just noticed Kazuomi walk by and glance in my direction and decided it would be best to answer these trivial questions on my own accord later. I gave one last look back at the room she had entered into and walked away hoping that the girl I loved so long ago was really in there.

XXX

Amu's POV

_Is it wrong, or even a crime to want to make others happy? Because if it is, I'm sure that I'd be the world's most sought after criminal. It's just that I can't being hopelessly oblivious to the other factors that counter with my ignorance. And everyday, I am haunted by those same memories that I tried to better. I just keep thinking that maybe, had I not thought of protecting my "family", how I wouldn't have gotten into some of the situations that I'd been in. My first encounter of rape was back when I was four in the convalescent home. Even though it'd happened about 12 years ago, the memory was still fresh in my mind like it was just yesterday. The teachers, they pulled me out of class and told me that I'd be getting special training from now on. When I asked them why, they said that I was very special and someone had requested for me. And then I saw him, the very man that could make me gag at the mere sight of him. Mr. Haggardy. His dark auburn hair, beady green eyes, and crooked smile are forever etched in my mind. A vision I try so hard everyday to erase. His muscular build scared me and I knew something was wrong by the way he looked at me. He told me to go take a bath and as I was stripping myself he came in the bathroom and watched me as I bathed. He asked me if I needed help and before I could reply no, he snatched the washcloth out of my hands and began to bathe me. It felt weird and I told him I didn't need any help, but he refused to stop. I tried to scream out but he covered my mouth with his hand and told me he'd kill my family if I did. I tried to be brave and stop sobbing, but I couldn't and I didn't want to believe him. Then he started taking out all of these pictures of them asking questions he already knew the answer to. It was then that I knew that I had no choice, I had to comply to him. It was the only way I could save everyone. I walked to his room with only my towel on. I asked if he had any clothes for me and he shook his head and laughed a twisted laugh. "No," he said, "you won't need them." Before I knew it he pinned me to the bed. I began to kick and scream only making him angrier. He couldn't get me to calm down so he slapped me leaving ring marks on the side of my face. He moaned, I screamed, he was inside of me and it felt like I was everyone's swimming pool. Where people shat and urinated freely in. I remember those moments of my innocence being taken away so vividly that I couldn't sleep at night just thinking about it. It felt like forever when he finally stopped, there was red and white everywhere. I was crying so hard I almost passed out as everything went blurry. I could vaguely see him zipping up his pants. There it was the remnants of my child gone, shattered even. How would I go on normally knowing that I was nowhere near as normal as the others? I began to blame myself for these happenings because it was, in fact, my fault. I was too naïve, I let him take me and my mental stability away. I'd given him that power to control me and now he revisits me every night in my dreams. I wish I could pull away from this despair, but I know that nothing will ever change._

I looked up from my notebook as I sighed inwardly at my surroundings. One of the empty meeting rooms that I'd wandered into to be alone. It had worked but I always get the feeling of loneliness trailing not too far behind. The truth was, I hadn't wanted to be alone, but my mind always seemed to act on its own and there I was again desperately lonely. If there was only a quiet place to cut right now. Maybe that'd ease the pain.

"Keep your head up Amu-Chan, you'll never see your future if you're staring down at your feet."

I smiled at Miki's naïve remark. I turned away, I could never tell them everything; even if they were my guardian characters. It's something not even I could handle at this point. How could I ever tell them?

Suddenly, there was aloud grumbling noise resonating through the walls of the empty room. I turned to see Ran scratching the back of her head nervously as she received skeptical looks from the other charas.

"Ahaha, I guess I'm really hungry, can we go get taiyaki Amu-Chan?" I sweat dropped along with the others and blatantly complied with Ran's desires. I walked blindly through the halls not knowing where I was going or how I had gotten there. It was peculiar to me since I was like an elephant; I never forgot.

A blessing and a curse.

I was practically running at this point to try and find a way out of this intricately built building. Why was it so complicated? I was pulling my hair out just trying to process where I'd previously turned.

"Slow down Amu-Chan, you're going to-" Suu never got to finish her sentence as I crashed into the muscular back almost knocking whoever it was over. The person turned until I could get a clear view of their face. "Gomen, I should've paid more…" My cheeks began to heat as I stared into the familiar eyes of a person I'd reminisced about for so long.

"O-oh, it's just you…"

_**And there you go, chapter 11! A cliffhanger, I guess that's what you'd call it. I really need to get it together with this updating thing, I'll start writing right now. Don't forget to R&R!**_


	12. Chapter 12

_Oh gosh, you're all probably losing faith in me to update earlier. But to my own defense, this chapter took longer than I planned to write it, hence another late update. So thanks for all of the reviews, follows, alerts, and reads. Here's Chapter 12!_

_Recap:_

_"Slow down Amu-Chan, you're going to-" Suu never got to finish her sentence as I crashed into the muscular back __of someone way taller than myself, __almost knocking whoever it was over. The person turned until I could get a clear view of their face. "Gomen, I should've paid more…" My cheeks began to heat as I stared into the familiar eyes of a person I'd reminisced about for so long._

_"O-oh, it's just you…"_

_'Oh my gosh...' _

Honey met azure as they stared at each other for what seemed like forever. They'd met, something they'd been longing for since the sudden departure. Now that they were somewhat together, the words seemed to have caught in their throats and restrict their voices rendering their throats useless.

Finding the courage to speak, Ikuto cleared his throat. "What's that supposed to mean?" At this they were both struck with déjà vu. Hadn't this happened before? The heat had risen even higher to her already rosy cheeks as she tried miserably to hide her blush. She could hear the faint stifling of laughter down one of the halls. She clenched her fists; she'd have to kill them later. She shook her head trying to release herself from her thoughts and burning face.

"Oh, it's nothing. I have to go." The pink-haired girl turned quickly on her heels and practically ran down the complex halls. Where was she going you might ask? She had no clue, but she had to get away from him. She wasn't ready to face him, not yet. She looked around cautiously to see if anything looked familiar as if she was watching her back for a quickly approaching predator. Amu face palmed herself in defeat, she was hopelessly lost and she'd run away from the person who knew this place like the back of his hand.

'This day could not get any worse.'

"Lost?"

'And there goes my hope.'

A shadow about a foot taller than her crept closer as his husky voice filled her ear and tickled her neck with his breath. Her body shook in a strange delight. She turned to come face to face with that same person she'd tried to avoid. Her blush increased by tenfold as she came to the assumption that she was being followed.

"H-How did you-" He pointed in the direction of the corridors of twists and bends. "You just ran in a complete circle." As if she wasn't red enough, her cheeks burned up in flames. She began to scratch the back of her head nervously and stutter. "O-Oh, I guess I am lost. Do you know where the exit is?" Amu hid her face behind her hair in embarrassment as Ikuto looked down at her with a smirk playing at the ends of his lips. Amu couldn't help but feel self-conscious as she felt his eyes boring holes into the back of his head. The pinkette bit her lip as she waited for his response.

"Straight down that hall then make a left, you'll see a red exit sign." She nodded and began to follow the directions she was given. "Thank you...Ikuto." Amu turned to show those sparkling honey golden eyes that could hypnotize anyone if they gazed at them for too long. Ikuto, who was currently caught in this trance, merely nodded as he slid his hands into the pockets of his black slacks watching her figure slowly fade away.

"She looks different Ikuto, nya." Yoru found a comfy place on Ikuto's stylish mesh of midnight blue hair and yawned lazily. Ikuto nodded with just the tiniest hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "Yeah..." A small wave of joy spread throughout his body. His love had arrived back home and hopefully to stay in a place settled deep within his heart.

On the contrary, the pinkette's head was filled with troubled thoughts as her charas flew close behind her giggling. "Ahaha, Amu-Chan don't worry you didn't look that stupid." Amu bombarded the onlookers in the thick crowd as she ignored Miki's sly remark. Her guardian characters, at the moment, were not making anything better. _'Ughhh, I must've looked so stupid running away like that and then I got lost on top of it! How dumb can I be?!'_

_There are no limits to your ignorance Amu._

**And then there's always you to count on to be the supportive voice to cheer me up.**

_We're getting bold aren't we?_

She sighed inwardly at her own ignorance. Just thinking of how much an imbecile she must've looked to him made her already insufficient state of self-esteem increasingly lower. Amu had never been one to show much emotion and even though she'd realized long ago her unrequited and undying love for Ikuto, she could never find the words and the pain slowly grew within her withering heart.

If only she'd realized it when she'd had the chance. Thinking of him brought back the memory of today's awkward encounter. She exhaled roughly thinking of her fumbling in the presence of her secret lover. 'I don't think I'll ever be able to live that down.'

He was tall, roughly a foot over her, his sleek muscular build had defined itself in ways she never thought it could, his midnight blue hair fell playfully over his unreadable eyes giving him a mysteriously, yet sexually tempting look and vibe, and he smelled of men's soap and the finest of foreign colognes.

Her eyes sparkled in a new light as she thought about him. 'He's so beautiful while I only regress in my appearance.' Her charas hovered nearby their air-headed bearer as people began to shove her through the ongoing crowd.

_Don't make people your world when they only think of you as their island._

The voices made her stop in her tracks. What was she thinking? He'd never love someone as lowly as her, he deserved better and she knew he could definitely get it. She couldn't believe the ludicrous thoughts she'd let slip her mind.

As Amu ventured through the crowd she could see flashes of rich orange, platinum gold, and voluminous purple amongst all of the people. She turned her head and walked away at a quicker pace than usual causing her charas to glance at each other uneasily. 'No, don't think about it, you ruined your friendships with them. They'll never want you back.'

_Glad we're starting to get back on the same page._

**Quiet, you.**

_Silence won't ever reverse the truth. You should know, that's all you've ever done._

She sighed, there was no use in trying to fight with the voices. They became more inconsiderate of her with each heartbreaking remark. Even as she tried to tell herself that there was no use in looking back, her internal instincts did nothing to stop her as she gave one last wary glance back into the crowd.

Her charas watched her from behind as she walked to her dance studio. She could hear Ran pouting about not being able to go to a nearby taiyaki stand. (**I don't know if one of those is truly available in Japan.**) 'Friendships never last anyway.'

_Wouldn't you know?_

XXX

Kairi's POV

"You know, the star's can tell us stories about ourselves. How bright they shine, how their distanced, even by their positions in the sky."

We were all seated in Tsukasa's planetarium listening to him drabble on about the stars and the planets and how they were all like our lifelines. I could hear the other former guardians sighing in unison as he went on about his usual rant. I laughed softly to myself; I actually liked how he went into detail of these things about life. In a way, I think he was just trying to find a way to define and solve himself.

Who was Tsukasa? A mysterious man working at an elementary school that ran the planetarium and told creepy fortunes of others. I don't know if the others ever dwelled on the topic, but I always found myself wondering these things. Or was it that I was also trying to find out about myself through others?

For the past few days I'd been having epiphanies of myself and wondering about myself as I thought back on my life. What was I searching for, or a better question, who was I searching for? Before I'd ever come to Seiyo, I was always sure of myself and the person that I wanted to be. After a while of being here, I couldn't even think straight just remembering my wrongdoings towards the Guardians who'd taken their time to get to know me and become acquainted with me.

Especially Hinamori-san.

She was kind, but also naïve and she was an all around genuine person. And what had I done except be an ass towards her? I wiped the side of my face trying to hide the shame written all over my face. She'd even thought of me as a good person when I was secretly dispersing Utau's heart-egg capturing CD's.

When she left, I had to think over all of my morals when she left and I automatically felt horrible when I thought about it. I was causing her more pain as she tried to lift the spirits of others while I only sat back and crushed hers. "…and yours is right up there Kairi with a mid tone brightness. I believe that something has been troubling you for a long time and now you are trying to reconcile with yourself. Sadly, I can tell that you can't."

I could feel my cheeks burning as he read me like a book. 'How'd he do that?!' His methods have not even been proven by science!' I could hear the others snickering as they saw my cheeks glow brighter with red. Tsukasa didn't even look at me to read me.

Maybe this theoretical assumption of the universe might actually be taken into consideration by scientists. It must take a large volume of intellect to read these minor signs and slight movements in the universe. I could hear Tsukasa in the back of my mind reading Rima's fortunes as I recalled my previous train of thoughts.

Hinamori was everything that a guy could ask for and I pushed her away with my own selfish and sneaky ways. She wanted so badly for me to be good and I couldn't even fulfill that one need for her. Why had I been so oblivious of her kind, gentle nature that I became inconsiderate towards her own feelings?

A heat rose to my cheeks thinking of her lovely features. That luscious bubblegum pink hair, those honey golden eyes that sparkled if the right amount of sunlight hit them, her soft voice that rang through my ears like a favorite song, that modest smile that was evenly settled with her deep dimples, and her baby face. She was a diamond in the rough, a beauty I would never see to its true potential.

I slapped my hand roughly against my forehead; I can't believe that I never realized it before. I was in love with her and I pushed those feelings far away from myself. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Musashi giving me questionable looks of concern. I gave him a reassuring smile and stood up from my chair.

"Um, I have to go everyone. Sanjou will be waiting for me."

They nodded in my direction as I headed out of the doorways of the planetarium and into the light of the midday sun.

"Is something wrong Kairi? You're never this distant, especially during one of Tsukasa's rants." I clenched my fists and bit my lip as I breathed as I breathed in the cool summer air.

"I've been thinking about what you told me the other day…and I think that it might possibly be true." Musashi held in a laugh behind his kimono as he watched the muscles in my face tense. I knew he thought I was a fool for only just now realizing this, but I needed someone to tell.

"Yeah, I've known that for a long time now, you just had to come to terms with it yourself Kairi-san. Maybe if you met again you could reconcile with her and tell her how you truly feel. Who knows, your feelings may even be returned." I hid the pink on my cheeks as I thought of that possibility. 'Nope, too good to be true.'

'Don't get your hopes up on such impractical things. Science, now that will always get you a definite answer. Girls are too iffy and who knows what kind of logic is wired in their brains.' **(I, myself, highly disagree with that! Pluto isn't even a planet anymore!)**

I looked over at Musashi to see him smiling smugly at me. I recoiled my fingers and released the pressure on them to grab Musashi.

"I'm not worthy of someone like her. Maybe one day, when I'm a man she'll-no, I'll understand her ways." I glanced downwards at Musashi who rested in the palms of my hands who sat there smiling up at me. "Well what do you know, you're slowly becoming a man already Kairi."

XXX

Somewhere in the depths of the tall, symmetrical brown building sat a man with cold, dark eyes that showed no life or remorse and could pierce even the souls of the dead with one single look. He was a heartless, cruel man and not known to play fair. Besides, wasn't everything about winning?

Said man toyed with a wadded up piece of paper between his pointer and middle finger as the sweat cascaded nervously down his temples past his cheeks. He watched the time pass by on the grandfather clock as his every muscle tensed by each passing second. Tick-tock, tick-tock went the worn down clock. Night was rolling around the corner as the man scattered ideas through his mind. 7:52 PM read the brown antique clock.

The man's jaw line tensed as he thought of what was foredooming. The police. They'd be here at 8 and the children and the nuns had yet to clean up his bloody tracks. 'I don't have time for this,' he thought, 'I should beat every last one of them senseless! Their all lucky I'm a rather rational person.'

7:53, he was dreading every moment he had to wait there for the law. The nuns had all reassured him that everything would be in line before they were to be questioned. He grimaced at the thought, he could hear them rummaging through halls to clean up every last hint of unauthorized child labor. Tiny Houses (STILL NOT MINE) was advertised to help troubled children get back on the right path, and boy were they doing a hell of a job.

The children that were here were perceived as the worst of the worst and sent here to be straightened. They'd straighten them alright, scare them beyond straight. (**Love that show!**) Kids were worked to the bone without much sunlight, fun, or anything close to a full meal. They worked tending farms and selling things such as themselves.

Not only were they victims of harsh labor, but also of sexual harassment, abuse, molestation, and rape. He knew he had the power to do these things to them since their parents sent them here to most likely never return. The children still had to go to school to seem normal, but right after that, they worked endless hours fulfilling laborious tasks. Sometimes, they were lucky if they even received a morsel to eat.

On the weekends, they blended in as prostitutes, or prostitots would be a better word to describe them. No mater the age, they all had to go. Girls had to wear heels and very miniskirts with tube tops as their uniform. There was a woman to help with learning to walk in heels, if you fell you received a lashing each time. Boys wore skinny jeans and muscle tees and were required to know the street language in order to attract women.

If their parents ever returned, which was very rare and second to none, they'd wonder what miracles had been done on their once snaky, devious child. But alas, no one would ever hear their silent pleas for freedom or their cries of distress as they tried to salvage what little life they had left. Food and water was scarce. For them in particular and so was their diminishing health.

Now, when the girls were pregnant was the only time they ate good. 7:59 the old, rickety clock read. He could feel the beads of sweat trickling down his face chasing each other in a pointless race. One more minute until they arrived and he could already hear the handcuffs clinking together. Flashes of red, white, and blue zoomed down the quiet street and he couldn't mask his paranoia and anxiety.

He adjusted his red tie accordingly against his baby blue cotton button-down shirt. He fingered the paper between his fingers again before straightening it out.

A little girl no older than 8 or 9 was dressed in lingerie was trying to hide herself under bed sheets to no avail. Her honey golden eyes held crystal tears and a scared expression adorned her baby face. The little girl's hair was tied up in big red bows that held together full, bouncy oddly colored hair. The man gave a crooked smile as he reminisced about the terrified little girl in the photograph.

She was his own private show. To touch, to feel, whatever he may have pleased at the moment. He'd remember how she'd scream she'd be good, cry when something hurt - it turned him on.

_Knock-knock! _

The man turned towards the door where the loud knocking originated from. "Who is it?" He mentally slapped himself knowing exactly who would be at the door.

"Police, we have a search warrant. Complaints from a neighbor for unauthorized child labor." The man stuffed the picture in his pocket; he had no time to dawdle.


	13. Chapter 13

_Well, I know what you're all thinking. OH MY *BLEEPING* GOD! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO UPDATE YOU LAZY *BLEEP*?! In my defense, I was auditioning for different high schools these past few weeks and getting prepped for the ninth grade so that took a lot out of me. So please, please forgive me!_

_Recap:_

_The man turned towards the door where the loud knocking originated from. "Who is it?" He mentally slapped himself knowing exactly who would be at the door._

_"Police, we have a search warrant. Complaints from a neighbor for unauthorized child labor." The man stuffed the picture in his pocket; he had no time to dawdle._

_XXX_

Amu's POV

_I saw him! I really, really saw him! A few days ago at one of T. Ray's meetings in Easter's headquarters. He's just as handsome as I remembered and I couldn't help but fumble with myself at the sight of him. He could make my knees buckle and give out at the mere sight of him, but even he can't keep the dreams away. My nights are filled with anxiety, lost hope, and restlessness. Those memories are burned in my mind and forever left there to stay. I wake up in a cold sweat every night and realize that this all isn't a dream. It's a reality. My reality. The memories surge through my mind every night creating my worst nightmares. Sleep, a term that I haven't been familiar with in a long time. I can't help it! He'll always come back to my mind and ruin everything. He stole everything from me. Not only has he taken my innocence, but also my piece of mind. The outlining of his cruel, hardened face is a recurrence in my nightmares that I'll never be able to efface. My first time was taken - no, ripped away from me and there was nothing I could - there was nothing I tried to do. I closed myself up after that. I wouldn't talk, couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep (I had to be checked for my severe case of insomnia) because the traumatic experience would only meet me there in my dreams. Dreams. I can't remember the last time I had any. The cutting hadn't started until I was eight, right around the time Miyu died. I was devastated, heartbroken, and consolation nor piece of mind was anywhere to be found. That's when I found the Guardians. A great distraction for a while until it eventually only added to my grief. But don't all good things have to come to an end? I thought I liked - maybe even __**loved**__ Tadase until I realized that I was infatuated with one side of him just as he was with one side of me: Amulet Heart. I began to despise Ran, I foolishly hated a part of myself until I just began to hate the rest of me too. Thin, energetic, outspoken, strong, beautiful, and an all-around honest and innocent girl. Most of the things I wished I could be when I actually still had the tiniest bits of hope. Thin: Yeah, guess you could say that with my depression, stress, strenuous hours of dance practice and adding in my mild symptoms of anorexia. Energetic: I guess you could say that too, when I dance I have great energy to keep up to the music and do push-ups when I can't comprehend my corrections. I've been told I have great emotional display, good feet, and 'sick' technique. Outspoken: Ha, you wish! If I even spoke on a regular basis. Sure, I speak during interviews, auditions, and to managers and producers and people like that, but it's never been that way with my family. Even before Miyu died… Strong: Hmm, that's a pretty considerable point if you count that I can do aerials and other acrobatics and contortionist tricks. I guess it takes some level of physical strength and ability to pick myself up by my hands and walk with it. Beautiful: AND there goes another fail! Beautiful, not even close! I haven't liked my appearance since I was little. It's pretty hard to play hide and seek and not get caught when your hair is pink and you're darker than the other kids. If only I was born with copper or pretty auburn hair and fair, princess-like skin then I'd be somewhat beautiful. Honest and Innocent: Honest. I couldn't even tell myself the truth about my infatuation for Tadase-kun or my unrequited love for Ikuto! I wasn't even honest enough with myself to tell my parents about everything that had happened to me! Not that they'd care or anything… And don't get me started on innocence! A few pedophiles took that away from me years ago over and over again. How would I ever be god enough for someone like Ikuto if I don't even have these simple requirements that are automatically installed into the DNA of every other girl on the planet except for me! I remember those small moments of my tragic youth and try to muster up a smile for the pleasant memories. I can't stop my eyes from overflowing when I think of how many more bad memories there are than the good. I cry thinking of all the times I've had to lose out on the fun simply because of my differences from other kids. I keep dreading how Kami-sama created me in his image as a monstrosity of evil and why he couldn't make me beautiful and honest like my charas Miki, Ran, Suu, and Dia. Why was I stuck with this ugly body, this ugly face, this ugly hair and eyes, and these ugly ways?! Am I destined to be alone and pitiful the rest of my life? _

_XXX_

It was a cool summer night. One of those nights where you'd bring the whole family out to gaze at the stars on the biggest hill you could find. But for now, I'd settle for the presence of my guardian characters. "Wah Amu-Chan, the stars are shining bright tonight aren't they?"

Ran's eyes twinkled with the fascination of a child . I smiled nodding my head at her. Everything was beautiful, from the arrangement of the tall trees to the blues mixed together to make the night sky. A peculiar bubbly feeling plagued my chest and fondled with my heart. Miki's persistent scribbling rang through my ears like a bad note: she was working feverishly on a new sketch. I joined in along with her.

Both of our scribbling was sending Suu into a tizzy until she finally fell down trying to keep up with the eraser shavers being dropped. I giggled; at least if my charas were here I'd still have some form of happiness through the pain. Suu huffed at me and exited the balcony obviously in embarrassment.

I was wrapped under a small knitted blanket wit the words 'Mommy and Me' sowed into the soft cotton fabric. I'd found it a few years back in the attic and despised it at first sight. I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away. I ran my fingers over the edges of the cloth and sniffed it slowly, taking in all its sweet smells. My mother's scent with slightest stench of old cardboard was still locked into the blanket.

She changed it after she married Tsumugu and it just didn't feel the same. I guess she wanted to move on and forget the past and everything else along with her original self. Vanilla and tulip extracts fused together to make the sweetest scent that made your nose tingle with joy. I'd make her carry me all day just to bask in her motherly scent. It was all over now. That was when she loved me and T. Ray and Tamaki-senpai. I had to get used to her hating me now.

I rose up from my seat on the balcony and breathed in the scent of the cool night air, bits and pieces of my troubles flew past me in the wind. I opened the balcony door towards my room and rushed to the bathroom rolling up my sleeves. I observed the red marks on my arms and saw that some of them were already healing. Good.

I grabbed one of the blades out of a nearby cabinet drawer and slid the cold pieces of metal against my skin. I could hear the sounds of my skin tearing and smiled. It felt good to relieve myself of my troubles for once, a time when I didn't have a care in the world. Tiny knocks - quickly identified as my charas - sounded through the bathroom.

"Amu-Chan, are you okay in there?"

_Just lie and say yeah like you always do._

**Must you always come at times like these?**

_When else would we come?_

"I'm fine girls. I'll be out in a sec for bed, alright?" I couldn't even convince myself that I was okay. My voice quavered because I was still slicing myself as I spoke. I washed off the blood so they wouldn't grow suspicious of me and worry and turned off the light. I walked out of the bathroom and wrapped myself under the sheets already in my plaid yellow pajamas.

_This is all coming back to haunt you one day._

_XXX_

It was raining down softly on Earth with the pitter-patters of rain making it evident of the late night shower. A rosette looked down on Earth watching all of the people sleeping soundly, watching their chests rise up and down slowly. She sat on the porch swing in front of a sturdy wooden house by herself. She basked in the crisp night air of fresh dew and saturated wood.

Heaven. That's where she was. A guaranteed eternity of piece.

Or was it?

There were things she still wanted down on Earth. People she still wanted to talk to, things she never had the time to make right. As she sat there on the front porch, the door to the house creaked revealing a wrinkly old woman. She frowned at the rosette as she sat down beside her.

"What's going through your mind tonight?" She stroked the girl's dark pink hair as the small girl rested her head against the old woman's shoulder. "I still regret not being able to be there for her." A sigh could be heard above the little girl's head as the tired, wiry hands stopped toying with strands of her hair. "You'll have to learn to live with it sooner or later sweetie." The rosette nodded her head against the old woman's arm and sat up abruptly. "I know, but it just doesn't feel right you know…not being able to make amends with her and tell her the truth. That's something I'll never be able to live - die with."

The old woman stared down at her and smiled in understanding of her own time on Earth. She sighed remembering the big fight her and her husband had moments before her body was being mangled by a car driving triple miles past the speed limit. Now, as she sat here for an eternity she tried long and hard to remember what the fight was about and hoping that it was meaningful and important. She'd lost her one true love because neither one had tried to make amends.

"I understand, but it'll be a long time before you can tell her." The rosette scoffed and tooted her nose up in the air at the old woman. "Yeah right, if she can make it past this summer before making another suicide attempt. How many has it been over these past few years? 10? 11 attempts? I want to make her feel better, ease her pain even the slightest bit. I want my best friend back. I don't think it was my time to die yet, so why am I here?"

The old woman sighed again and stared at the clock realizing that it was the wee hours of the night as they spoke. She rose up slowly from the porch swing and began to walk towards the door. Just as she was about to open the rickety door she turned to the rosette one last time. "Maybe Kami-sama needed you more than you thought. Maybe it was your time." Another scoff sounded through the empty fields of their heaven.

"Well maybe He's wrong!" The rosette began to pout and fold her arms in a very childish way. The old woman was growing impatient with her childish behavior. "He's never wrong, and sweetheart, he isn't going to start with you!" The door of the house closed shut violently as the lightning down on Earth crackled through the winds like a whip. Thunder sounded through not too long after the impact. The rosette sat there motionless as she reflected over the wise words of the old woman.

'_Maybe Kami-sama needed you more than you thought.' _

No, he couldn't have, not me when he has so many other people worthy of him.

'_Maybe it was your time.' _

She shook her head in furious manner trying to convince herself that the old woman's words weren't true. No, it couldn't have been, she was too young and she wasn't ready yet. She could've sworn it wasn't her time yet. She wanted to win national titles in swim meets, be featured in newspapers and magazines, and receive an Olympic medal before she finished middle school. Her dreams had filled her up and she craved for only the top.

One of the rosette's biggest regrets as she watched her loved ones down on Earth was not being able to save her dearest cousin, Amu. The pinkette was already weak and hopelessly naïve and she'd left her. The pinkette's struggles on Earth pierced the rosette's heart like a knife as she protected her as best as she could in her permanent ghost-like state.

Amu hadn't killed her that day. It was something else, and it was eating away at the poor rosette's heart as she thought of the false accusations placed upon Amu. While in heaven, she heavily hoped and prayed that her family would finally confess to the real reason in her place.

Alas, after the rosette left it all seemed to go downhill. Everyone was in despair and it all had been thrown onto Amu. The rosette feared for the sake and sanity of her family, but mostly her parents. But she also feared for Amu's safety the most. The rosette watched Amu from her humble spot in heaven go through bullying, abuse , see the true colors of her family, learn the harshness of the world, and her brutal rapes.

These were the things that the rosette watched her cousin carry around with her everyday of her life. The things she could never forget. The haunting that would never leave her. Things that had went unnoticed by even the rosette herself.

Another factor that she'd realized in the pinkette was that she did not love herself enough to block the negative things being told to her. She'd convinced herself that she'd murdered the rosette after a while. The effects of the rosette's absence impacted the pinkette the most and the rosette stopped pitying herself. She'd never seen a more miserable being in her life. She wished that she could hold her, comfort her, talk to her, and soothe her into an easier state. But she couldn't. She was dead. The pinkette was out of her hands now.

_XXX_

Tsumugu knew that it had been more than a while since he was first in possession of Amu's notebook. Though, he also knew what he was doing with his time. He was going to read the entire book to know how she worked, he wanted to be informed on what exactly made her tick. And he knew that even possessing one of her many journals would give him enough information to set the poor girl off.

He smirked as he thought of she'd react to his merciless crimes. She'd cry and beg for any way to make him stop. His toes were already tingling just thinking about it. There was no one but him in the house and he could just as easily slip into their master bedroom as when everyone was there. He walked briskly to his room and opened the bedroom door to a clean floor, courtesy of Midori.

He kneeled down on the floor next to the bed and his eyes switched sneakily from the side to side as he began to look under the bed. Once his fingers pressed against the familiar sheets of paper he pulled back his hand and stood up from the floor. As he opened the book, he plopped onto the bed and began to read the contents of the journal. He smirked, this had to be her first book, she didn't write in Japanese in any of the others.

_My name is Amu Hinamori. A name I truly wish I hadn't been born with, because maybe I wouldn't have to deal with the preset burdens. I'm currently nine-years-old and bald. I am also currently enlisted in a psych ward because I've been labeled as a psycho path for trying to drown in seven feet of ice cold lake water. :D I don't regret my actions though, I still feel like it would have been better if they'd just let me die. It would've been better than living in this lifelong sentence to misery. Dr. Namine says that by his studies, writing would help one relieve their stress. I don't see how that's going to work since I write all day in school and the stress still only piles up on me. He also says that I should think of myself in a newer, more positive light, but I don't see how that's going to work either being that my shine is so dim you'd barely recognize it without super medicated bifocals. My name is Amu-Chan, I'm scared of thunderstorms and I get freaked out easily by lame scary stories. My hair is a god awful shade of pink, I'm fat, I make straight A's, and no one wants me. I don't see myself opening up much to him, but I'll try and see how this works._

Tsumugu smirked at all the detailed, filled in pages of the notebook. They described everyday of her life and what she reacted to all the time. He closed the book shut and slid it back under the bed. He could hear the door open and footsteps filled the entire house. A tiny bead of sweat trickled down his face as he anticipated the person's arrival. He opened the door slowly to somewhat silence the creaking. His eyes showed pure fear as he watched Ami glide up the stairs quickly. He walked himself out of the door way and ruffled her hair as she tried to avert his hand.

"Daaaad, you're messing up my hair." He smiled down upon the brunette as he watched her pout at him.

"You know, for a kid you worry a lot about appearances." The brunette shrugged and twisted the knob on her room door.

"Isn't that what people see first? Besides, I just came from tennis practice, I don't need to look or smell any worse than I already do." Ami smiled up at Tsumugu and entered her room and closed her room door shut. Tsumugu tapped his chin thinking over what his daughter had said.

'_Isn't that what people see first?' _He stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the frame of his doorway. "You know, you may be onto something kid. You may be onto something."

_XXX_

"Tadase-san, are you still thinking about that Hinamori girl? I admit that she is a fine maiden, suitable enough to take her hand in marriage, but a king has chambermaids for that." Tadase sheepishly smiled back at his chara. He was right in saying his own way 'move on.'

Sadly, the blonde-haired boy could not. Tadase dreamed of the day he would see Amulet Heart and her energetic smile again. She was everything he wanted and he let her slip through his fingers. He still could not decipher her means of absence and had yet to realize after seven years his own part in it.

"Kiseki-san, it's not like that. She was…different." Kiseki gave the princely boy a skeptical look and rolled his eyes. He drifted into his egg before giving his last retort. "One of these days you'll become a real king. Then maybe you'll see how cowardice your actions are." Tadase grabbed his pompous, kingly chara's egg and turned off the light.

_There's chapter 13! This chapter opened up a lot of things that will be relevant in many upcoming chapters so keep these things in mind. R&R!_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Finally! An early update! WOOHOOO!**_

_Recap:_

_"Kiseki-san, it's not like that. She was…different." Kiseki gave the princely boy a skeptical look and rolled his eyes. He drifted into his egg before giving his last retort. "One of these days you'll become a real king. Then maybe you'll see how cowardice your actions are." Tadase grabbed his pompous, kingly chara's egg and turned off the light._

Amu's POV

"_Come on Amu-Chan, it's time for bed!" _

_A three-year-old pink haired girl ran up the stairs of the apartment building tagging along with her father. "Aww, but Daddy can't I play outside for five more minutes." A smile crossed the tanned man's face as he looked down at his pouting ball of sunshine. _

"_We can play tomorrow I promise. Besides, you've got a big day tomorrow don't you?" The pink haired girl rolled her eyes as her small feet brushed briefly against the tiles of the staircase. _

"_It's just preschool Daddy." _

_He ruffled her shoulder-length pink hair and carried her on his side. They walked up the rest of the flights of stairs and finally reached their apartment door 102B. He could hear the little girl yawning softly against his broad shoulders as they entered the apartment room. There lay a woman in her early twenties nodding off on the stack of books placed before her, obviously studying material. _

_The jet black haired man smiled upon her and proceeded to take the little girl into the bathroom to bathe. After she was done bathing, he placed her in the bed and pulled the sheets over her and kissed her goodnight. Her six-year-old brother lay sprawled across the bed on the other side of the room as the tanned man silently laughed at his son's awkward position. _

_Just as he was about to turn off the light, a figure stirred and grabbed his arm. The man turned to see the pink haired girl rubbing her eyes with sleep stinging them and a teddy bear in her hand as she looked into his eyes intensely. _

"_Daddy, you promised you'd read to me tonight." _

_He mentally smacked himself for forgetting and quickly ran over to the bookshelf and grabbed a book. The little girl tucked herself under the covers and waited patiently as her father at beside her to read her bedtime story. She could see him flipping through the book to find something specific and smiled when he found what he was finally done looking for. He cleared his throat and began to read the small poem._

(**This Is Mine, something I made up on the spot**)

_**Tiny hands, tiny feet**_

_**Tiny clothes, tiny seats**_

_**Ripples of giggles shooting through the air**_

_**Wind blowing in that long, silky hair**_

_**A smile creeps up to her beaming face**_

_**And all bad thoughts are erased**_

_**She's funny, smart, and everything else too**_

_**She's my favorite person in the world**_

_**Do you know who?**_

_**It's my little girl!**_

_**And she's growing up fast**_

_**I just hope that these memories will forever last**_

_The man looked to the side of him to see the pink haired girl already fast asleep with her soft wheezing becoming prominent in the night air, an odd little piece of their own tranquility. He lifted himself off of the bed slowly and turned off the light. "Goodnight."_

_XXX_

"…mu! A…u! AMU!"

I snapped my head around fast and looked at my caller. Ms. May. I was spacing out in dance again and it was clearly affecting my solo rehearsals. Remnants of my shattered past were popping up everywhere all of a sudden and I couldn't control when they'd come.

"I'm sorry Ms. May." She sighed and looked at me with an expression of aggravation and distress. "What's wrong with you today? You're not hitting any of your accents and you keep falling out of all of your turns." I gave a weak smile and shrugged. "I'm sorry, there's just been a lot on my mind." She nodded and continued to bark at me about my failing technique. After a long hour of solo practice it was time for my break, and I have never needed it more than I did now.

I was in the VIP lounge with my charas as they buzzed about upcoming competitions and competitors. I really could care less about who I was dancing against or with, as long as it kept me away from home and occupied me with something other than suicidal thoughts or cutting. It was Dr. Namine's idea to signup for dance - anything really, that would preoccupy me long enough to keep me away from "sharp objects and cliffs" as he stated.

I grabbed a water bottle and began to chug half the bottle down until an assistant dance coach walked in. I sat up in my seat and watched as she slid her hands down the back of her skirt to smooth it out and sit down. She had rosy red cheeks, dyed creamy blonde hair, and large white teeth that made it hard for her to close her mouth properly. When she realized that I was staring at her oversized pearly whites, she shut her mouth in an awkward position and I flushed just a bit in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" She cleared her throat and made extra sure to cover her entire mouth to block out her teeth. "Ms. May says that she received a call from your agent Mr. Jim, he says that they're filming for the show tomorrow, so be ready at 7 AM tomorrow for him to pick you up." I nodded my head and began to leave the lounge room. I just couldn't catch a break.

_XXX_

I was walking from the bus stop where I'd just gotten off into the wild chambers of the Easter building. There was a cool summer breeze drifting through the air and the trees swayed like hula dancers in the wind. The sun beamed down on the Earth in an elegant, ladylike manner that gave just the slightest bit of heat to contrast with the breeze. This day almost looked innocent.

I rolled my eyes, if only I didn't have to walk into my own mousetrap. I tugged on the straps of my dance bag and trudged through the last two blocks to the 'prison confinement' - I meant the major industry. I threw my hands behind my head and smiled as I thought of the dance job that I had lined up for tomorrow morning.

"Ooh, Amu-Chan's smiling you what that means!"

"Shhh, she might hear us dummy!"

"What?!"

"She's super excited that she gets to see Ikuto duh! She's going to make sure she's extra lost just to see him again."

"Oh, now I get it! 'Cuz she wants to LOOOOOVE HIM, SHE WANTS TO KIIIIISSS HIM, SHE WANTS TO -"

I glared at them with a face of crimson as they rolled around in my bag with laughter filling their stomachs and blocking their throats. "Would you guys shut up?! None of that stuff is even true!" I couldn't even convince myself with that faulty reasoning, and their annoying laughing wasn't helping me feel any better. By the time my face finally reached its natural color, I was in Easter's headquarters trying to find my way to T. Ray's office. I just wished that I could remember how to get there. I was once again lost in the endless maze of miscellaneous twists, turns, stairs and elevators. Was his room on the second or third floor? Oh, how will I be able to remember with no signs or directions?!

I dragged my hands down the sides of my face and blew out a sigh through my tinted cheeks. I could hear my charas snickering and making sly remarks from their previous jokes as I tried to decipher this unsolvable maze.

"M-Maybe y-you should try asking f-for help!" Miki could barely make out a sentence as her and the other charas doubled over in laughter at my exasperated face. That never prevented them from winking at me though. I'd walked through about 5 halls and climbed two flights of stairs looking for T. Ray's godforsaken office! This was not a workout I was trying to do.

"How could I ask for help when it's pretty much desolate in this entire building?!" Exhaustion and aggravation showed clearly on my face now as I began to run through the entire building like a lost child. I was running blindly into anything in particular that would aid me in my perilous journey to find T. Ray's office. When my heart rate sped up to an enormously high speed I sat down on one of the freshly polished floors and pulled out my asthma pump. I pushed down on the button a few times and felt the air rush back up into my lungs again. Once my breathing was back to normal again, I stood up and searched for another tactic.

Retracing my steps. **Literally**.

I began to walk backwards in hopes to see if anything looked familiar in this order. I just wished that I would've turned around earlier to realize I was walking into someone. I turned around and already knew it was bad when the snickering of my charas increased gradually. "I'm sorry, I wasn't…" My cheeks flared as the person turned around to meet my eyes. I punched the opening of my dance bag to quiet down Miki, Ran, and Suu. Standing right before me was the love of my life.

Ikuto.

He put on his signature smirk and peered down at me to my height level. I couldn't control the plethora of heat building on my face.

"Must we always meet like this?" His voice was making me melt and at that moment, I found my black and white Adidas very interesting. "Lost again?" I nodded without ever removing my gaze from my feet. I followed in suit behind him being wary of the slightest shifts in the air just to avoid eye contact. The girls were still giggling and not making anything better.

"Is she going to make a move?"

"I don't know, maybe if you shut it we could hear!"

"Shhh, Shhh! I can't hear with you guys talking so loud…"

I punched my bag again and I could hear them moaning in pain along with a…sigh. I almost looked up to see who it was until I realized the only other person walking with me.

"So, where have you been all these years?" I looked up to see his back turned to me as he led me up a series of steps. "I've been…studying abroad in America. Nothing much. What have y-you been up to?" Lie number 1: Well, it was half the truth, he didn't need to know why I was there or what I was doing. Not yet.

"Been here in Japan studying for the _wonderful_ world of business." I could hear the sarcasm tingeing his tongue as he spoke. I giggled, this must've been what I missed. I sped up just a bit until I was walking alongside him. "Sounds fun." He turned his head in my direction and rolled his beautiful azure eyes. "Yeah, a whole lot. But anyway, why are you even here? I mean, not trying to intrude on your personal life, but I don't think working here would be to your best interest." I laughed when he gave me a confused expression with his eyes furrowed in the cutest way.

"Hehe, no, my…father owns an international business and he's decided to make a branch right here in Japan." He furrowed his eyebrows at me again and I shrugged. "I thought your dad was a wildlife photographer or something." My mouth tightened into a straight, thin line as I thought of exactly who he was talking about. "No, Tsumugu's my…my step dad. He's Ami's biological father." I clenched my fists as the tension in the air thickened. He cleared his throat and proceeded to speak again.

"Yeah, guess we've all got father problems." I nodded my head and found my feet very interesting again.

"Sooo, you dance now?" I cocked my head to the side and wondered how exactly he knew that. I bit my lip and tried to think of something to say. "No, why would you say that?" Lie Number 2: Why'd you even lie about that one?! He pursed his lips slightly and looked up at the ceiling.

"Well, for one, you're carrying around a duffel bag that says dance and you're also wearing a crop top that says dance." I blushed and thought of how stupid I must've sounded to him. Could this day get any worse? I scratched the back of my head nervously and gave a nervous laugh. "O-oh, y-yeah, I guess I am in dance."

Mental smack.

I could hear him laugh briefly and shake his head in amusement. "You're still the same." I stood still for a moment as he began to walk ahead. Could he see the real me? I was dying inside, I'm nowhere near the same girl as before.

"Wish I could say the same…" He turned around to me as I walked up those last few stairs. "Did you say something?" I gave him a weak smile and walked through the door to T. Ray's office.

"Nothing, just got to hurry and change before my dad gets worried is all." Lie Number 3: Just a slip of the tongue this time, huh?

_You're becoming a professional at this aren't you?_

**Hush you!**

_XXX_

He was sitting in a confessional booth directly in front of a police officer as he studied his every move. His beady eyes moved from side to side as each word seeped through his mouth. He was lying. And everyone knew it. They just didn't have the proper evidence to convict him. The nuns and the children had cleaned up his every last track and he was, surprisingly, actually a little grateful towards them.

He wasn't handcuffed, nor had he asked for a lawyer. He knew exactly what he was doing, he knew that the police were missing essential parts to ever be able to put him under trial and he planned to keep it that way. There were more bases than just this one 'shelter' that he'd built. There were more, much more, there were underground chambers where he left the worst kids to get the heavier loads. He knew that no one would come look for them because of their reputations.

Their silent pleas and cries for help would never be answered and he knew it. Their suffering would go on until they were 18, or maybe longer if he decided to keep them. These kids dreamt of the day that they'd be free and some, they just wouldn't be able to make it to that day. There had been about five suicides in just this past week and the others were starting to figure that that may be their only escape too.

The devious man intertwined his fingers with the balled up wad of paper in his pocket again. The girl in the picture was their key. He'd told her - well she'd heard and knew everything. Locations, the kids, their buyers, the days they met up, how and when they'd separate each of kids, and who ran what. He'd never let them find her though, he's be ruined if they did. She'd be ruined if they did.

The man finally brought his attention back to the officer in front of him as he sipped slowly on his coffee mug. "So, Mr.…Naiyabushi, am I right?" Mr. Naiyabushi nodded his head with a cruel smile adorning his face. This was just another game of cat and mouse to him. "Do you know what you're here for, sir?" He nodded his head again and shrugged. He needed to be extremely levelheaded and nonchalant with his approach.

"Yes, I've been informed that a few neighbors have accused me under the false accusations of child labor." The policeman nodded and started to sort through the files in his hands. Mr. Naiyabushi eyed the files in his hands, he knew exactly what they were. His business files. Another crooked smile adorned his face, there would be nothing that the police, or any other authoritative figures could find there.

"Mr. Naiyabushi, what do you do for a living?" He sat up attentively in his chair and placed his folded hands under his chin. "I run a nonprofit organization for troubled children. I've set up many establishments worldwide because I believe that every child deserves a second chance. Many may disagree with my statement that people never change, but I believe that it's possible if we all try hard and work together."

The policeman looked at Mr. Naiyabushi with wide eyes as he looked into the man's eyes for any trace of deceit. His eyes were endless holes of black that could not detect anything. Mr. Naiyabushi grinned, the cop was like putty in his hands. "That's very noble of you to want to do something like that. If I may, can my team interview some of the children in your establishment? Tomorrow maybe?"

Mr. Naiyabushi twitched. Interviewing the children? He hadn't even considered that in his devious plans. He'd have to prep them for questioning all night and it would take forever and a day to get them not to crack under pressure. The policeman noticed this slight uneasiness from the man across from him and smiled inwardly. He'd hit a nerve.

"No problem, the sooner we can get this misunderstanding under control, the better. I'm sure you'll love to hear what the kids have to say about my work." Mr. Naiyabushi smiled again, but this time with a shaky hesitance. The policeman nodded and stood up from his chair with his coffee mug and files in hand.

As he left, Mr. Naiyabushi could think of only one thing: they could not find the key to this investigation.

_XXX_

The Director was walking menacingly through the echoing halls of Easter. Everyone cowered in his presence as he strolled slowly down their pathways making sure to give them an evil glare. Most people scurried around their office cubicles like chickens with their heads cut off whenever he was in their presence.

He grinned. He loved the rush and taste of power.

"E-Excuse me Director-sama. I h-have your c-coffee ready for y-you." A woman with short auburn hair stood in front of him with a coffee mug with her knees buckling and her entire body shaking. She looked as if she was about to faint or either wet herself just looking at him. He snatched the coffee cup away from her and shoved past her never even murmuring a thank you to him.

She didn't dwell on it though, she ran as fast as she could back to her cubicle. He was just about to walk downstairs into the meeting room when he saw a flash of pink and…maybe even blue. He stopped in his tracks and looked back down the corridor he'd first seen the flashes of colors originate from.

There she was, standing there clear as day. The one and only Joker, Hinamori Amu. And there walking past her was his step son, Ikuto, holding the stairwell door for her as she walked out.

He smirked, he couldn't believe it. Ikuto was still head over heels for this open-minded, foolish girl. He shook his head shamefully and kept walking. "Tsk, tsk. Things haven't changed much after all Ikuto have they?"

Even with sharing his already known disappointment for his step son, he couldn't give a small, creepy smile. Amu was back. The bearer of the Humpty Lock was back.

"Better bring out all of those x-eggs I saved up over the years. This is going to be a quite interesting summer, if I do say so myself."

_**Yeah! Early update, a little more Amuto and more of the plot is building up! Woo-hoo! I'm on a roll! Please R&R.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for leaving you guys like that! I've really been trying to keep up with my grades and homework lately and as you can see that took a while. Here's chapter 15!_

_Recap: _

_Even with sharing his already known disappointment for his step son, he couldn't give a small, creepy smile. Amu was back. The bearer of the Humpty Lock was back._

_"Better bring out all of those x-eggs I saved up over the years. This is going to be a quite interesting summer, if I do say so myself."_

_XXX_

The sky had never been so dark, at least at early morning sunrise that is. His weary azure blue eyes flickered in and out of sleep as he scanned the wall above him as if he was looking for an answer.

Why was he fighting sleep, you may ask? There lied a simple answer: he was not. Sleep just simply refused to come. Not last night, or this morning. He'd tossed and turned thinking about what happened earlier this week. Had he heard her correctly? Was he just imagining things? Had she said what he thought she said? The blue-haired boy turned over in his bed again now perspiring.

He couldn't think straight, although this wasn't an odd occurrence for the teen, he couldn't help but stress over it. _'Wish I could say the same…' _He wanted her to repeat it just to reassure himself that she'd said it. He slid a hand over the beads of sweat on his forehead. Sure, her body changed in ways that he didn't even believe a body could. But, her bubbly, stubborn personality? No, it couldn't have. He denied any evidence found towards the motion that maybe, just maybe the girl that he had only 8 months to fall in love with had changed.

When the heat on his face finally began to agitate him enough, the blue-haired teen shuffled towards the bathroom. He'd stripped himself of all of his clothes and let the hot water run down his elegantly, well-sculpted chiseled chest. After rubbing himself down with indigo scented body wash, he dried himself off and threw a towel around his lower body. Looking around the bathroom of his apartment room, he thought of the day he moved in.

"Home" just started feeling even less like home to him. He sighed and tousled with his saturated, shaggy blue hair. A myriad of things changed over the years: the Guardians disbanded themselves (thank God!), Easter stopped making him the errand boy to capture heart eggs (he was thankful for that but the burden hasn't been fully lifted), Utau was now a world renowned singer traveling the world doing what she's always loved, and Souko was slowly trying to make amends with her family.

The blue-haired teen threw on his blue checkered boxers and black pants. He towel-dried the last bits of his shaggy hair and then shook his hair out like a dog. "Ikuto, nya! You don't like cats anymore?! Do you even like me?!" Ikuto rolled his eyes and playfully flicked his chara's nose. "How does that justify whether I like you or not, Baka?"

Ikuto ran his hands down his face once again. It was just another day that he'd regret being born into his cursed family and having to be the scapegoat for Easter's failed missions. He threw on a white button down shirt and began to button himself while looking in one of his hall mirrors. As he was buttoning his buttons in a straight line on his shirt, Ikuto noticed his reflection.

A stoic, blank expression adorned his beautiful features as his eyes remained unreadable. He remembered when he thought he was all alone and that no one would ever be able to deprive him of his misery. But then, along came Amu and things seemed to brighten up a bit. Even Kazuomi and the other coworkers at Easter noticed a slight change in his personality. But, with Ikuto being just a little bit chipper was a problem for him and he had to find every way possible to remove that source of happiness.

Ikuto tightened the grip on his shirt causing it to wrinkle. His teeth clenched together and Yoru stopped his whining noticing the sudden mood change. He'd lost his motivation in life; she was like a sparkplug with infinite amount of voltage. Everything he needed to get through his worst days.

Kazuomi. Ikuto clenched his fists just thinking of his name. The number one corrupter had to go and ruin everything that he had left to live for and send them running. Ikuto loosely tied his tie and began to head out to his car for work.

Oh joy.

_XXX_

"She's still so weak. I want to help her…but I can't reach her." A tear from the rosette's honey eyes as she lamented over her own death. Although this was a topic she skimmed over and over every day, the tears never ceased to pour like newly formed waterfalls. Miyu reached from her little spot in heaven into the wisps of the damp clouds. "She's so far away. I want to hold her just one more time."

But alas, she stretched her hand out to no avail. The harder she tried, the farther away she got. "It's been so long, I need to feel your touch again, Amu-Chan. I want to heal your broken hearts, Mama, Papa." Her tears soaked the clouds as her body shook with sobs. Years had passed and had done a number on mostly everyone. All of her friends had grown up and forgotten her completely, her family was pretty much a ship waiting to sink, and the person who loved her the most was losing her sanity.

She looked at her tiny eight-year-old hands. In heaven you never grew older and you never grew younger. You were the same as when you got I here. You lived in a perpetual yesterday, no one ever regressed and no one ever progressed. Every day you lived here in everything you ever wanted without your loved ones as either a blessing or either a curse. And right about now, Miyu was caught between a blessing and a curse. Or at least that was what the young girl began to perceive it as.

Miyu gazed over the foggy morning skies of earth watching her beautiful cousin sleeping. Her soft breathing made her tiny chest move up and down gracefully. Her plump lips pursed and sucked the air inconspicuously like that of an infant's. Peace. The state she loved her most at. Too bad that it would only last until the morning.

During Miyu's absentminded gazing, the front door of the little house creaked to reveal a tired old woman with sleep tugging at her tired ash eyes. She sighed as she watched the young girl moping over her own demise, most likely. The old woman extended her arm towards the girl's shoulder and lightly shook her with her wrinkly hand. "You'll have to learn to live with it sooner or later, Miyu." A sniffle echoed over private sector of heaven and she could feel the tension grow in the air.

"Die."

The old woman looked down at the girl in confusion. "Excuse me?" The rosette positioned her body toward the old woman shadowing above her and made eye contact with her. "Die, you said live with it, you really meant die." The old woman rolled her eyes and fanned away the petty correction. "Does it really matter? You know what I meant." The rosette turned away again and sniffled once more.

"Have you Mrs. Furakawa?" Mrs. Furakawa's body stiffened as she realized her own hypocrisy. Had she really let go? Would she ever be able to accept her own horrible death? "I'm sorry I was out of line there for a moment. I guess I'm still…grieving." The old woman shook her head in understanding and scooted into position beside the young girl. "What are you doing out here this early anyway?" Miyu pointed in the direction of Amu's three guardian characters.

"I'm watching Ran, Miki, and Suu playing with each other. You know, I've been wondering about this for a while, why haven't her other charas been marked with an 'x?' I mean, if one's been 'x-ed,' why haven't the others?" Mrs. Furakawa cocked her head back and laughed arrogantly at the girl as if she'd asked the simplest question in the world.

"Amu's shine is weak, but it is not gone. She still has the heart of a child and therefore resulted in the rebirthing of her charas. Trust me, they all would've been long gone, Amu still has dreams whether she still believes she does or not."

Miyu placed a thoughtful hand under chin. "So, when she fully believes in herself, Dia will return to normal and they'll all go back inside her hear, right?" The old woman turned her head worriedly not knowing how to answer. "Yes..?" Miyu folded her hands in her lap as she began to fondle with the seams of her aquamarine dress.

"And then she'll forgive everyone and move on with her life…a-and then she'll forget about me too, right?" The old woman shook her head sadly as she tried to console the little girl. Miyu ripped away from the elder's arms as hot tears raced each other down her cheeks.

"Where will I go after that? What will I do?"

The old woman never answered.

_XXX_

"And now my lowly servants shall bring their almighty king a basket of fruits!" All of the charas were sitting together in their own vacancy of Tadase's house. Their bearers were in the living room probably hatching a vacation plan. Pepe and Musashi were currently arguing back and forth about who knows what while Rhythm and Daichi talked on and on about sports completely ignoring an infuriated Kiseki. But even with all of the ongoing commotion, Kusukusu remained quiet.

It'd been almost a week since she'd last seen Amu and was still trying to hold in her excitement. Everyone seemed so preoccupied with their own hectic schedules that she didn't think that anyone would need the extra baggage of knowing Amu was back in town. And who knows? She could be long gone since the day Kusukusu had last seen her. Still, her stomach bubbled with joy just thinking of the lost heroine.

"You, Jester, obey your dear king's orders and make me laugh with your foolish antics!" Kusukusu giggled as she watched Kiseki's face redden in pure rage. Even after seven years, he ceased to realize that the imaginary slaves and peasants he dreamed of were of the same status as him: guardian characters. The others continued on with their conversations as Kiseki continued on with his bantering.

"YOU STUPID PEASANTS WILL BE BANISHED FROM MY LAND, YOU HEAR ME? BANISHED!" Kiseki rushed over to the others and snatched Pepe's pacifier, pulled Rhythm's headphones, stole Daichi's soccer ball, and took Musashi's sword. Just as he was making his way over to Kusukusu, she could feel the weeklong secret forming a very large and rather uncomfortable lump in her throat. She couldn't swallow it and she could feel it bursting through her body, rupturing the vessels in her throat with an uncontrollable amount of force.

"I SAW AMU-CHAN!"

An awry silence blanketed the room as Kusukusu tried to take back her sudden outburst. "Uh, no…no, I wasn't supposed to say-"

"She's back?" Kusukusu craned her head behind her only to come face to face with the deeply concerned eyes of Daichi on her. Every last one of the charas facial expressions reflected Daichi's: an unprecedented amount of anguish and the slightest hints of forlorn in their eyes. Kusukusu hadn't known the impact of the heroine's absence on the charas. Now, she regretted ever saying anything even more. She turned her head in remorse not wanting to see those oppressed faces. "Yeah, I saw her the other day at the bookstore - she's probably gone now anyway."

She could've slapped herself right then! Why'd she even have to add that last part?! She could feel the intensity of their gazes boring holes through her back. "We should look for her…" All eyes turned to a surprisingly, unselfish Kiseki. "Maybe if we found her, we'd find our own missing pieces - it's only a suggestion, though!"

Kiseki nervously shook his hands in front of himself to cover the evident blush creeping upon his cheeks. All the others smiled and nodded in agreement with Kiseki.

"So it's settled then, we're going to make plans tomorrow to start our search for the lost Joker."

_XXX_

"Does Mr. Haggardy in any way make you feel uncomfortable? Does he touch you? Say anything that makes you feel weird?" A grade school girl with jet black hair tied into two high ponytails sat across from a very stern-looking police officer. Her emerald green eyes flashed from side to side as the officer watched her every action intently.

She was lying; they all were, and the officer knew it. Every time the same exchanged looks, every time the same answers, and every time the same awkward body language. He knew something was going on in this shady establishment, but what? "No, what makes you say that?" The officer shifted in his chair angrily, out of the corner of his eye he could see the grade-schooler flinch. Lies! Obviously all lies!

"Well, the neighbors have reported cases of unauthorized child labor, I was just wondering if you were a part of that." The girls green orbs flashed around the room again. She's nervous, he thought, obviously lying. I just have to find out why. "No…I'm not. Can I leave now, please?" The officer collected all of his files and stood up from his chair. He pulled out the girl's seat and overlooked her sudden twitching at his gestures. When the poor girl got up she practically ran out of the confessional booth.

In the distance, he could hear her retching, hopefully in the nearest garbage can. He sighed and walked back to his office slumping down wearily into his office recliner. It had been a long day of lies and he was just about ready to give up. There was no point in trying to help those who didn't want to be helped. But he knew, somewhere deep inside of his heart, that there was a reasonable motive behind their robotic-like actions today. He just had to find out why.

"What's on your mind tonight, chief?"

A stout woman with orange hair and goose gray eyes stood in front of his office desk. Everyone was filing out of the building for it was getting rather late and they had no more cases at the moment to handle. He waved through the glass walls at his coworkers. "It's just this new case that I got. The guys been called in for over a hundred counts of unauthorized child labor and no one has been saying anything. I know their all lying, I just have to find out why."

The stout redhead rolled her eyes and shifted her weight onto one arm that leaned on his desk. She wondered why he was even wasting his time trying to save people that didn't want saving. You can't help everybody, y'know! The kids were obviously transported to these homes because of numerous accounts of delinquency, so she figured why should even volunteer to help them.

Being a social worker for the past 15 years had shown her a lot about these establishments. Of course they manipulated these children to do their own bidding; they had the power and the right to! Once the parents turned their kids over to these kinds of establishments, they were practically signing their kids up for these promiscuous endeavors and screaming: Please torture my child! What more was there to say in these types of situations?

"Don't stress over it, this whole thing isn't worth the extra gray hairs anyway." The stout woman ran her fingers through the chief's silky jet black hair lined with random streaks of gray in it. The chief laughed and swatted at the woman's hand in a playful manner. "I'll try, but I can't sleep knowing that every night he's plotting to do something to those unfortunate kids. No matter how many wrongs they've had, hurting them in that manner doesn't make it a right."

The redhead sucked her teeth and waddled out of the office. As he began to organize the files on his desk, he came across a yellow piece of notepad paper. He turned it over to reveal the words, **MR.** **HAGGARDY IS A LIAR! CALL 555-0721 IF YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION ON THE CASE. **The chief hastily grabbed his office desk phone and punched in the number at lightning speed. He was overcome with a newfound joy as he heard the ringing of his phone. Finally, something that would get him closer to convicting Mr. Haggardy! His heart quickened every time he heard the phone ring.

"Pick up, please pick up…"

"Hello?"

The chief's eyes brightened as he nearly jumped to his feet out of his chair. Someone finally picked up! "Uh, this is the chief of police. Are you the person that left an anonymous note on my desk regarding this new case?" The masculine voice on the other line could be heard mumbling strange things to himself.

"Yes, but before I can supply you with any information I have to set a few ground rules. First, this case will be a closed book. If I am to hear anything such as a highlight on the news at anytime, you'll no longer receive information from me. Second, I suggest you start making friends with people in the FBI and the SVU units. This case is more serious than you think. Third, if you ever try to track my location you'll also no longer receive any information, got it?"

The chief shook his head wildly as if the person on the other line could see him. His hands were becoming clammy and his grip on the phone was loosening due to nervousness. "Yes, is that all?" The chief was beginning to have doubts; did this man really know anything?

"For now, but back to important things. Haggard's a fake; don't believe a word he says. With as much lying as he does, he's probably convinced himself that he's telling the truth!"

The chief bit his lip in frustration, was going to get anything more than angry bantering?

"Right about now, he thinks that all his ends are tied up. Don't ever let him think he has the upper hand, make him think about everything and watch. Don't let your guard down; send a few psyches to the kids while they're in school. You're liable to get more information than when he hasn't already drilled them for impromptu questioning already."

The chief nodded again now taking notes. "Do you have any names in specific that I should venture out to?" The dark, masculine voice could be heard humming in deep thought. A snap of his fingers echoed through the receiver and caused the officer to wince in pain.

"There's this one girl named Mia with jet black pigtails and another named Suzanne with lavender hair tucked into a tight bun all of the time." The chief made small mm-hmm's at every bit of information given and wrote quickly in a rush to jot down everything.

"Thank you sir, may I ask for your name?" A dark chuckle emanated from the phone as the officer cringed.

"Sadly, that's all the information I have to give you tonight chief. Have a good night."

The phone line went dead.

_XXX_

_SOOOO was that okay for my long absence? Did it thrill you? Tell me what you think in your reviews, please R&R!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Woahhhh, that's about the latest I ever updated. I had FCAT, loads of art homework, paying for eighth grade celebration and fieldtrips, plus I had to find a stunning prom dress (and I'm still not done with that), and no time at all to study or write. Don't think that I abandoned this story because I haven't; I'm going to tough it out to the end no matter how long it take! Here's chapter 16. _

_Recap: _

_"Thank you sir, may I ask for your name?" A dark chuckle emanated from the phone as the officer cringed._

_"Sadly, that's all the information I have to give you tonight chief. Have a good night."_

_The phone line went dead._

_XXX_

_Though the memories of my youth can seldom be recalled, I can vaguely remember the lullabies that would lift my sinking heart. My mother would sing these songs to me with the voice of an angel branching through her lungs as she calmed me down after a painful, swelling asthma attack. I missed those moments, but I knew that I would never be able to retrieve them. _

_It was in these lullabies that I'd find solace in during my 'incarceration' at the home. They helped me keep my piece of mind and it gave me the strength to make it through each day. Those lonely nights all by myself after I'd been 'used' as a ragdoll or those horrible afternoons coming from a traumatizing day of school, I remember hearing Midori's serene voice through my tears. But now, as I look back, I couldn't remember hearing her voice the night of my first suicide attempt. _

_I guess being borderline suicidal had opened my eyes to the real world and what it truly was: desolate and uninviting. There is no one to confide in and it's every man for himself. I wish that maybe, just for a moment, I could have my real mother back and rekindle our long lost love. Maybe then, these gaping holes would finally fill and mend themselves. And as for my father, T. Ray, there's not much you can do wrong when you're gone. _

_But I think now that having him telling me he was going away would have been worse than waiting around for him for five years to come back to me. There's nothing much to say about him. I keep foolishly praying that one day I'll have my dreams come true, but as of now, they've only been crushed by the cruelty of the real world. So, I have none._

I closed the contents of my journal and laid my pencil down on my desk. I sighed, why was life so complicated nowadays? My life had been a nonstop rollercoaster of ups and downs that I became dizzy just thinking about it. Yesterday's rehearsals for the new music video were horrible, I barely got the part.

I don't know what happened, but I was so fatigued and I felt lightheaded. My whole body was on fire and I could feel myself slowing down. Not to mention the added derogatory comments from the voices telling me to get my lazy ass up. I'll admit, even I want to kick myself around, but I'm sure I could do it to myself without the voices.

I glance up at the clock on the faded pink walls of my bedroom. 11:45 AM, almost time for my appointment with Dr. Namine. I gathered a small messenger bag that slung across my body making it easier for me to access it and started heading out the door. I could hear the slight breaths of my charas as they followed behind me trying to catch up.

As I walked down the stairs, I could see my mother scrubbing down the counters of the kitchen and quickly whipped my head around. I had nothing to say to her.

_XXX_

"Hello, Amu-Chan. How has your week been?"I bit my lip and smoothed along the hem of my gold dress. It's been nothing but hell, what do you expect?!

"I've been fine, how about you?" I bit back my tongue and tried to make myself sound as truthful as possible without cracking under his stony gaze. It obviously didn't work_. _

_Here we go with the bullshit. _

By the look in Dr. Namine's eyes, I could tell that he could detect my lie, but he brushed it off and resumed our conversation. "Eh, nothing much, but let's get back to more important things…" Just as he'd detected mine, I'd detected his, and for a moment we exchanged glances and smiled at one another. "You should do that more often…" I cocked my head to side in confusion as Dr. Namine simply laughed.

"Smile, it shows off your dimples and your high cheekbones. You look happy." For a moment, Dr. Namine looked nostalgic and I could see emotions reflecting in his eyes that I'd never seen before: melancholy, longing, and angst all wrapped in one. Somewhere, deep down inside of him, he was hurting just as bad as I was. He shook his head at whatever he was thinking and proceeded with his work.

"You know, I heard from a friend that the police are investigating Tiny Houses (NOT MINE!)."

My entire body tensed and my heart stopped beating for an entire 30 seconds. What did he just say? "R-Really?"He looked up to see me straining to even complete the simplest of words and sighed. "Don't worry; it's a really private case. I heard that someone finally squealed to the police after God knows how long, that there's unauthorized child labor going on in there. Glad someone decided to finally speak up."

My palms were beginning to sweat as I sank lower into my chair. Why was he speaking so nonchalantly about this?! Doesn't he know the reason I'm here is because of the very monster that owns that forsaken place?! "Can you tell me about your experiences there?" Tiny, exasperated breaths released themselves from my throat as I was preparing myself to vomit. Just thinking of the times spent there made me nauseous.

"The first day that I arrived there, they threw me into a small room, much like a cell. The bed was metal and stung with the fierceness of ice on my scarred back. Tsumugu had kicked me in the side the week before and there was an awfully large bruise left there.

My heart broke into a million small fragments as I sat on the hard stone floor; I knew that there was no hope for me after that. My heart tugged with a newfound pain and I had a growing feeling in my chest that this would be my new home for a long time. I cried all night and skipped dinner, and now that I think about it, it was the start of my anorexia and cutting. I remember the first contact of the blades against my skin and the rush of the oozing blood seeping through my skin.

The glass from the cracked window had fallen onto the floor. I picked it up and ran into the bathroom and started cutting myself. I could feel myself losing my troubles and feeling a part of the Earth. Everything finally seemed in balance and I-"

I bit my lip and tried to end where I'd left off, but with Dr. Namine's insistent typing also coming to a halt, I knew that I couldn't. He removed his eyes from the computer and gave me a stern look. "You and I both know full well what I was really asking." I winced and began to tremble in my seat. "No, please don't make me remember."

Dr. Namine's eyes flashed with a darkness I'd never seen in them before and knew there was no convincing him. "The first time is supposed to be special and a smooth transition from childhood to adulthood. A bond between two individuals engrossed in the rapture of love that are married and are willing to spend the rest of their lives together. I wish that I had a story even close to that.

Mine was nothing even close to that effect and I felt like I was another useless part of the Earth. The second he put his hands on me I could feel the Earth breaking apart. I felt like one of the toilets in the public bathroom stall. Somewhere people shat in, leaving their wastes to be swallowed in by me.

I could hear the cries of the never ending oceans as they were polluted by the filth and the animals that slowly died in it. I could feel the weight of the air as the heavy stench of filth weighed it down. In that moment, I could feel the pain of all the elements as he adjusted himself in and out of me.

My tears lasted for hours after he was finished with me and my mouth was sore and swollen from the beating. I couldn't talk, but then I realized, if no one can hear your voice, then why even waste your time to speak?"

_XXX_

"It's hot!"

"I'm tired!"

"Can't we go get something to eat now?"

Whines rang through Kiseki's almighty ears as he led them through the bustling city of Japan. They'd already hatched a plan to escape from their bearers and start searching for Amu immediately, but it seemed that they were too engrossed with themselves to focus on their original plans. "Peasants do not eat until their King gives them the order to. Now stop complaining!" An irritable Kiseki sped up and away from the whining group to further his advances in the search. He didn't know why, but he was more concerned about looking for Amu more than anyone else in the group.

A blush crept onto his cheeks as he tried to decipher the reason why. She hadn't impacted him that much…had she? An irritable Kiseki slapped a royal hand against his forehead and shook the ludicrous thoughts away. Once he turned, he could see the other charas drooling over an array of pastries through the glass doors of a shop. He rolled his eyes and reluctantly floated towards the others direction.

"Would you foolish commoners focus f-"

Cream-filled bagels, the finest of imported chocolates, intricately detailed patterns on donuts and cakes, and fancy assorted candies filled the eyes of the mesmerized charas. "Food fit for a king…we should get some."

"But Tadase and the others aren't here to but if for us." Everyone frowned as their stomachs growled in unison in a starved agony. "Well, it is getting late, we should get going anyway." They were all heading their way back to their bearers when the door for the shop opened and a tiny bell sounded revealing a faintly tanned teenage girl with long, creamy legs. They all could smell the freshness of the chocolate chip cookies and creatively decorated slice of cake. Maybe even a…cinnamon bun?

"Mmm Amu-Chan, I didn't know chocolate could taste like this. It's so good!"

Everyone's blood ran cold. Did she just say – no, she couldn't have. Or did she? "These flavors are obviously foreign, they must have used the finest of imported ingredients, desu~! It tastes a bit like Belgian chocolate." There it was again, another familiar voice.

Kiseki was frozen in place; he didn't dare turn around for the fear of it all being a mirage, a mere hallucination. It couldn't be her; it was all happening too fast for it to be her. He squeezed his eyes shut; a king must always maintain his composure in extreme situations such as these. "Peasants, redeem yourselves by getting back to the reason we're really out here. Our search for…"

Right there before their very eyes was the almighty Joker in all her glory walking down the sidewalk of the upscale bakery. She was now model height with long, toned creamy legs, her pink hair now flowed down past her waist like waterfalls. All in all, she looked like a Teen Vogue model getting ready for a high profile glamour shot, but her eyes, have they always looked that gloomy?

She was holding a steamy, decadent cinnamon bun wrapped with fancy paper towels and well crafted takeout boxes. The smell lingered in their noses and left the most delightful taste danced on their ever-growing taste buds. Their mouths watered and their eyes filled with stars. Kiseki heard his stomach growl in response. When did he get so hungry?

"Smells so…good."

The former Joker and her charas turned in the direction of the voice. "Did you hear that?"

"No…"

"Amu-Chan, I can sense guardian characters."

_Everyone play it cool…please!_ Kiseki thought. As he turned away from them he could see the others following in suit. He withdrew a sigh of relief, for once the other charas had come through for him. "Kiseki, Daichi? Is that you?" The blue chara, Miki, so he recalled was floating before him with the exuberance of a child on Christmas morning.

Miki, along with Ran and Suu attacked them all with bear hugs and welcoming squeals of a joyous family reunion. "Where have you guys been all this time?" All three of Amu's charas looked back simultaneously with similar glances of pity. Amu nodded and smiled in understanding of their worry and proceeded to walk towards the direction of the park. "C'mon everyone, we should discuss this over handmade cinnamon buns."

_XXX_

It was 5 o'clock in the evening and summer school had just commenced. A small girl with troubled eyes and jet black hair tied up into two high pigtails walked through the entrance of the school building and trudged down the sidewalk. She dreaded coming to summer school, but she knew she had to because she'd failed all of her classes. But only she needed to know why and she intended on keeping it that way.

All those nights of 'harsh labor' had finally caught up with her and she could barely keep her eyes open in her classes. She regretted not listening to her mom and dad when she could, maybe then she wouldn't be living in this real life hellhole. She missed those voices yelling at her and telling her what to do all the time because now she knew that they were only trying to help. She was way better off with them than she was now.

She sighed, there was no way to take back her incoherent actions and that's why she'd been there for two going on three years now. There were nights when she'd stay up late at night and wonder if her family ever thought of her. She wondered if they even missed, or even remembered her. Some nights she'd stay up late and wonder if they even loved her anymore. She was sure that they really wouldn't if they found that she was carrying a 3-month-old fetus inside of her belly that was getting harder and harder to hide.

She patted softly against her bulging stomach; she couldn't be a mother yet. She was too young and inexperienced. And aren't you supposed to be married before you have a baby? The disappearing period, the mood swings, the cravings, the morning sickness, and the constant worry of being found out that she wasn't an average innocent thirteen-year-old girl anymore. She could feel an anxiety attack coming on at any minute now.

"Mia!"

Mia whipped her head around with her ponytails swinging gracefully behind her. The principal was calling her back over to the entrance of the school building. She pulled up the sleeves of her shirt, her watch read 5:05. The bus would be here in 10 minutes and she needed to hurry before she missed it. She definitely didn't want to suffer the horrible consequences for it later. "Yes, Mr. Higarashi!" He waved her over to where he stood at the entrance as she trudged – more like waddled over to his place.

"Did you need me, sir?" Mr. Higarashi smiled down upon the young girl, ignorant of her current situation. "Yes, someone is here to talk to you and your friend Suzanne." Mia twitched slightly, why would anyone need to talk to them? And specifically them? Mia nodded and headed inside the guidance office of the school building. She walked up to the front desk of the office and began to talk to a stout woman eyeing a piece of paper on a clipboard.

"Excuse me; my name is Mia, Mr. Higarashi said that someone wanted to see me." The burly-looking woman pointed in the direction of a closed screen door with silhouetted figures of men looming. She released a breath she didn't know that she was holding and began walking towards the door. Beads of perspiration formed on her forehead from nervousness as she moved closer and closer to the doorknob. She could feel her knees growing weak, her heartbeat quickening, and her breaths shortening as she twisted the knob. When the door finally opened with a long, eerie creak she knew why her fear began climaxing.

There were two men in the room: a school counselor and another that looked like an undercover cop. They both hovered over Suzanne who looked as if she was about to wet herself. Out of the corner of the lavender-haired girl's eyes, she saw the jet black-haired girl with the most terrified expression outlining her facial features. As Suzanne tried to reach out to her, the impregnated teen girl did something no one would've thought possible for a girl of her stature.

She ran.

She ran for blocks and streets and miles on without ever stopping. In the distance she could hear her friend beckoning her with fear interlacing in her own words. "MIA! STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO HURT THE BABY! PLEASE STOP!" She never stopped running, she had to get away. Having them find out about everything would be worse than any of Mr. Naiyabushi's punishments combined. This would be the absolute death of her!

She began jumping over gates, sliding over cars in the heavy traffic, and beating her feet faster and harder against the hard sidewalk. She never got to make it to the next street before her eyes began to blur, her body slowed down, and she could feel herself tumbling onto the hard, concrete floor.

_XXX_

"She's pregnant, sir."

"How far along is she ma'am?"

"About three months."

"Is there any kind of DNA test you can run so that we can find out who's the father?"

"Officer, if you're implying on me running a rape kit, you'll have to contact a legal guardian for consent of that."

"Alright, I'll contact someone. Is the baby hurt ma'am?"

"No, no damage has been done to the baby. It's a miracle after the high speed chase she went on."

"Thank you ma'am, I think that's all the information we'll need for now."

"Anytime officer, anytime."

Mia awoke to the chattering of investigators and the nurse who went on and on about her current health predicament. Her body ached from all the running and the anesthesia wasn't much of any help to her. There were all kinds of needles running through her body. All kinds of machines beeping and monitoring her every movement. She wanted to rip them all out, but which one would do the trick?

She lifted herself up only to pushed right back down by the pain of her swelling belly. How she wished she hadn't put herself in such a position. "Oh Mia, you're okay! How are you feeling? Is the baby alright? I'm so glad you're awake, you've been sleeping for forever." Suzanne had her arms swung around the small girl's neck and as she squeezed her in a tight bear hug. Once the pregnant girl began to cough, the lavender-haired girl let go of her blushing in embarrassment.

"Sorry, sorry. Hope I didn't put too much pressure on the baby." Suzanne began to rub Mia's stomach in soothing circles. Mia could feel herself dozing off slowly as the pressure was being released from her lower back and abdominal muscles. "Mia, Suzanne, can we talk to you guys?" The officers were standing at the end of the cot as they watched over the scene.

"Sure, what would you like to talk about?" Suzanne crawled into the space next to Mia on the hospital bed as the investigators pulled up chairs and made themselves comfortable. Mia was still half-awake as Suzanne continued to rub her stomach in relieving circles. "So Mia, I heard that you're going to be giving birth to a child in about six months." The young girl nodded her head and gave a low 'mmhmm' to acknowledge their question.

"Would you mind telling us who the father is, if that's alright with you?" Mia shook her head lazily as she moved Suzanne's hands around her stomach to the satisfied destination. "I would mind, so I can't tell you." Suzanne stopped rubbing her stomach abruptly as Mia's eyes flittered open. There were tears forming in the lavender-haired girl's eyes as she loomed over her with pain reflecting in her eyes.

"Mia, you have to tell them. We're already in trouble because it's already way past curfew, don't you want to leave there?" Mia swallowed down a large lump in her throat as she could feel the tension rising in the air. "You know we can't tell, Suzanne. We'll get in worse trouble than you could ever imagine."

Suzanne pleaded with Mia through glossy eyes. "Please, just tell them already and spare us the long lecture Mia. We have to tell someone sooner or later."

Mia clenched her eyelids together and released a long breath. "Okay, I'll tell you everything."

_XXX_

_Sorry for such a long leave of absence! I hope that this chapter makes up for it. So, as you're reading this I hope that you learned more about the central point of the story and learned more about the situation at hand. This chapter should start up more of the romance, crime, and drama aspects of the story. Please read and review!_


	17. Chapter 17

_Before you start yelling at me please read this. I wanted to update the first week of summer, but I couldn't because I had to go to some one week DASH art thing and that really slowed down my process. Then, I couldn't think of what to write the next week so I had to write it down in my book and it took a bit longer to dream up what I wanted to happen before that. All those weeks before I was trying to get my grades together for the last marking period and getting ready to get away from eighth grade. WOOHOO! Here's chapter 17._

_Recap:_

_Suzanne pleaded with Mia through glossy eyes. "Please, just tell them already and spare us the long lecture Mia. We have to tell someone sooner or later."_

_Mia clenched her eyelids together and released a long breath. "Okay, I'll tell you everything."_

_XXX_

"Chief, we've just received files on those two little girls we brought in for questioning the other day, Mia and Suzanne. Turns out that Mia's pregnant and the parents were very senile when asked to be allowed to run a rape kit."

A young man of a large stature with dark brown hair threw two folders onto the chief's desk as he sat across from him. The chief skimmed through the files with an expression of elation etched on his face. "That's good isn't it? We have all of the information that we need to prosecute them don't we?" The young policeman shook his head with a scowl marking his facial features. He crossed his leg and folded his arms over his chest muttering curses under his breath.

"We ran a rape kit last night and now it's gone and both girls have multiple bruises and broken limbs. This must have been an inside job because they couldn't have known that the girls were there and now neither one of them is willing to speak to us!" He slammed his fists much to the displeasure of the chief who stared at the young man in shock. The dark brown-haired policeman became flustered and quickly recomposed himself. The chief nonchalantly began skimming through the preteens files again, eyeing them for every detail.

"How long has Tiny Houses been open?" The young policeman shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "I'd say about 20 to 30 years or so. I heard that it was once a family business, but the former owner sold it to Mr. Naiyabushi. Why do you-?"

"I want you to find the previous owner of the establishment and bring him in for questioning tomorrow morning. For now, I need to look up every child that's ever had to set foot in that god forsaken place." The young policeman nodded his head and set off to the other police on his squad. "And by the way…" The brown-haired man turned around while holding his foot in the crook of the door.

"Yeah Chief?"

"First lesson of being a cop is to never let anything get to you. This is not a field where you can wear your heart on your sleeve. Criminals will see that and use it to their own advantage."

**The Next Day **

Everyone was filing into the firm with their cups of coffee and bags under their restless, dull eyes. With folders in hand and a peppermint in his mouth, the young officer strode over hurriedly to his chief eager to boast about all of the accomplishments in front of his squad members. But, to his own dismay, the chief strolled by him without so much as an acknowledgement to his presence.

The young policeman huffed in arrogance and held his pride as he walked over to the table his chief and his squad members were currently seated at. He slid his members file folders and flipped over a stray white board with different pictures of children and adults shown on them. "After pulling a mind awakening all-nighter, I've found very suspicious looking sources of information. I've looked up every child that's walked through that building and one seems to stand out the most. In 1996, there was a frantic report to the police by an 11-year-old girl claiming that she'd been raped. When the authorities finally arrived, she denied everything and then became hysterical. She then was thrown into a psychiatric ward and no further investigations were carried out."

All of his squad members winced at the files being able to sense their member's gloating spirit climax with every flipped page. Though the young man did feel proud of his work, the chief didn't give the slightest bit of an approving look. "Did you ever find the previous owner of Tiny Houses? Standing there in front of every last one your teammates boasting is not going to get us any closer to solving this case and bringing justice to those unfortunate children."

He sweat dropped while his teammates all chorused a united air of relief. Finally, after months of dealing with his arrogance, someone was putting this pompous fool in his place. He scowled as he checked over his clipboard with gritted teeth and responded menacingly. "**Yes**, I've set up everything so that it'll be an easy transition for everyone. The previous owner is open for questioning in the interrogation room." The young official slid his clipboard against the long meeting room table and stormed out of the room like an upset six-year-old. While his squad members jeered on like grade-schoolers about him, the chief scoffed at him.

"What a stupid kid."

**At The Hospital**

After the young man's childish fit in front of not only his squad members, but also his chief, he made his way to the hospital to see the state of the girls. _Tch, just when you think you're helping someone…it was pointless anyway. _When he finally arrived at the girls' room door, he opened the door to reveal both of the girls' watching TV with withdrawn, lifeless eyes. They were both bandaged with arms broken, legs fractured, and faces bashed in.

He walked in front of Mia and sat down next to her on the cot-like bed. Mia quickly rolled the blankets over her head and shifted over carefully, being cautious of not only the child inside of her swelling belly, but also her broken arm. The young policeman removed the sheets from over her head all the while smiling down at her. "Mornin' sunshine, I came by to check on you again today."

Mia groaned while gently placing the blanket back over head. "I shouldn't be talking to you. We'll get in trouble again." The young policeman nodded at her and again lifted the sheets from her head. "How would you get in trouble for talking to me?" She shook her head and held her face in the palms of her pale, quivering hands. "We just… we shouldn't talk to each other. It'll get worse than it already is."

He creased his forehead and wrinkled his eyebrows. Why was everything such a secret? "It's okay. I won't tell anyone." _Especially not after the events of this morning and yesterday_, he thought. Mia bit her lip, she wanted to be able to believe him. She wanted to trust him. She just couldn't bring herself to. "That's what all the other cops said." He shook his head in understanding and raised himself off of the bed.

"Well, if you need someone to talk to - here's my number, please don't hesitate to call." He pulled out a white slip of paper from the side pocket of his brown slacks with his number neatly written down on it. The thirteen-year-old girl simply stared cautiously at it as if it were a venomous snake about to strike. The policeman shrugged it off and began walking towards the door.

Just before he could twist the doorknob open, a swelled belly grazed his upper thigh and a small hand intertwined within his. "I'll call you, but I want to tell you one thing about this investigation." He turned around eagerly waiting for an answer. Mia sighed and backed up seeing his sudden attentiveness.

"For every lock there is a key. Once you can locate the key, you'll be thrown into a world of confusion and distraught you'd never have thought possible."

_XXX_

Amu's POV

"I just want you to pose. Just be free, just be sexy, but it has to look natural all at the same time. Whatever helps you get through this shoot." It had been a long three hours of posing that was quickly moving into its fourth hour. Being a model, a dancer, and a student at the same time wasn't exactly the best combination, but somehow Mr. Jim got it to work with my schedule.

I did most of my modeling shoots during the summer because I had more time and I was usually in America. My feet were already aching from three hours of Russian ballet training earlier today and now they were only getting worse by standing for so long. My pretty much bare body (besides the bikini I had on) wasn't aiding the situation either , I was pretty much shivering all over due to the coldness of the room.

At times like these, I was so glad that I was smart enough to place makeup over my scars before I left the house. As soon as I heard the photographer announce that shooting was over, all of the muscles in my body relaxed themselves as if a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Makeup artists and designers rushed up to me with water bottles and towels in an instant. I politely excused myself from their anxiety-stricken hands and headed over to my dressing room.

As soon as I'd pulled up my skinny jeans and peplum shirt, there was a loud knock at the door. "Come in." Mr. Jim walked in slowly making sure that I was fully dressed (to which I found was ridiculous since I'd already told him to come in making it clear that I was fully clothed) as I slipped on my silver flats. I gave a soft laugh and grabbed my handbag from my seat. "I'm fully dressed, now come on and take me home."

I began to walk down the corridors as Mr. Jim followed close behind. "Eh, did you remove all the makeup from your face? And where are your friends - I mean Ran, Miki, and Suu?" I would've stopped dead in my tracks if I could, but alas, I couldn't. He would've known something was wrong. He would've found out about the scars, it was something that I just couldn't risk.

"You know I can't wear makeup. I'll break out. Oh, and Ran, Miki, and Suu decided to go with T. Ray so that we won't get lost the next time." Well, it wasn't a complete lie. The first time that I experimented with my mother's makeup I broke out in a really bad rash on my face for a week. I grazed my forearm feeling the smudges of the applied makeup. My hands were getting clammy and the makeup covering my forearms were smudging exposing my 'occupied' skin.

Mr. Jim, being oblivious to the situation, just threw his hands behind his head and chuckled lightly. I breathed in an uneasy current of air through my mouth and thanked Kami that he believed me. I know lying is bad, but I couldn't let him know what really went on in my life and have it affect my work ethics. In a way, I was protecting him from that dreadful beast raging inside of me like a typhoon.

_Really? You never learn do you? Guess you really can't teach an old dog new tricks._

**Guess that classifies both of us. You seem to be unable to learn the greatest trick of all. Silence.**

_And do you see how far that trick has gotten you? A lifelong sentence of me and you together forever. Pussies don't make it far in life._

**I'm sorry.**

_I know you are._

We were finally driving down the road to Easter as I tried hard to restrain myself from bawling my eyes out in the backseat of my manager's car. 'I have too much self-control', I told myself, 'you will not cry in the backseat of this car! It's unladylike!'

_You can't have too much self-control with all the scars running up and down your arms._

**Must you always come at times like these?**

_No, these are just the best times to come._

One more word from the voices and I would've lost control. I have never been happier to see Easter than I am now. I sprinted out of the car before he could mutter a word and let myself into the building. I didn't see my charas when I walked in, so I decided to walk around aimlessly until I found something that sparked my memory. I still wasn't thinking straight and as I tried to run up the stairs I slipped and fell backwards.

Expecting to feel the hard concrete bashing against my head, I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the impact. When I didn't feel anything, I opened my eyes only to meet midnight blue orbs reflecting in my honey ones. A blush crept onto my face as a genuine smile tugged at the corner of his lips. We were in a rather awkward position, seeing that he was holding me by the arch of my back as I was leaned back still in position to fall.

That's not even the worst part though, my arms must've wrapped around his torso unconsciously when he caught me making the situation even harder. "For a dancer, you're not very graceful." I blushed and buried my face into his chest, my stomach was filled with butterflies and my heart was beating faster than normal. My emotions were fleeting as we stayed in this position.

"For a person who's supposed to be studying the 'wonderful world of business', you sure like to dawdle." I could hear his laugh resonating through my ears and making his chest shake. I tried to release myself from his grasp, but it only got tighter when I moved a bit. "Eh, I think I should carry you up the stairs to make sure that there are no further mishaps."

I blushed again and quietly complied with his subtle, caring request. It was quiet in the staircase except Ikuto's footsteps and the sound of my rapidly beating heart.

_BADUMP! BADUMP!_

I placed my hand against my heart and hoped that he couldn't hear it. After I calmed myself, I noticed that it was unusually quiet in here. Wasn't there always noise wherever Ikuto went? "Ne, Ikuto, where's Yoru-san?" He looked down at me with playful eyes as my blush increased by tenfold. "He's somewhere around here playing with your charas. He said that he was going to give them a tour of the building, I was going to help them too but Kazuomi showed up and I left him with them."

Kazuomi. A name that I hadn't heard in a really long time. I always wondered why Ikuto was forced to work in a place like this for Kazuomi. All that I'd heard from Tadase-kun was that Ikuto was a 'black cat of misfortune' and that he and Utau created x-eggs. "Ikuto, what is Kazuomi to you?" I could feel the tension grow in the air as soon as I let the question slip out of mouth.

The muscles in his jaw fixated his mouth into a straight, thin line as his shoulders stiffened against my hands that had unconsciously moved up. "He's the Director of Easter and sadly he's also my step…father." I slid my hands down his toned chest feeling like a pervert and a bit sympathetic at the same time. "Ikuto you don't have to tell me if you d-"

"No, I'll tell you anyway." He set me down on one of the stairs and then sat himself down next to me. He rubbed his temples and put his hands in a praying position. I know it's hard for him to tell me this so why is he trying so hard?!

"My real father's name is Aruto Tsukiyomi, he is a skilled violinist and the _**real**_ former owner of the Dumpty Key. He went overseas when I was younger and that's the last time I ever saw him. Everyone tells me that he's dead, but I just can't except that. After my father left, my mother married Kazuomi and he took over the business. I had to listen to him no matter how much I hated him to protect my sister and my mother."

I am such a dumb ass, I should've never even opened my mouth. It sounded painful and strained every time he tried to make a sentence. But the part about his sister, who was she? "Who's your sister?" He leaned and gave a questionable with his eyebrows furrowing in a cute manner. 'STOP TALKING! You're making yourself look even more like an idiot!'

"My sister is Utau. I thought you knew that already." I shook my head and regained my composure. I rose up from my seat on my staircase and dusted myself off. I'd always thought that they were a couple with all of Utau's silly antics. "I should get going now Ikuto. My dad will be waiting for me."

"Ok. Do you know where your dad's office is?" I slapped my forehead and shook my head no. I was really hoping for my charas to come through for me today. He laughed softly and led me out of the stairwell and to T. Ray's office. We both stood in front of the door until I broke the silence muttering a quick 'thanks' and unlocking the door. No one was inside and I could clearly see him walking away. There was still this one question on my mind and I couldn't stop myself before I asked.

"Ikuto, do you…miss him?" He turned, gave me a modest smile and then continued to walk away. I sunk into T. Ray's swivel chair and exhaled heavily. He was never going to tell me directly. I looked onto T. Ray's desk and spotted a letter for me from my school.

'Aah, it has been two weeks already. Just when I was about to learn more about him.' I pouted as I opened my letter and began to read it. The only words that I could read before dropping the letter were:

_**We are sorry to inform that you've exceeded the amount of credits needed for a high schooler at our studious high school and that we can no longer provide you extra classes for the summer this year.**_

'Holy shit!'

_XXX_

"Goodbye everyone! Don't forget to practice!" A twelve-year-old girl with auburn hair and dark honey eyes waved to all of the children exiting the tennis area. They smiled and waved back at her as they ran to their parents at the gate. She stood with racket in hand smiling down upon them feeling their energy bursting through her. It was so much fun to work with them! They were all so passionate about what they wanted to do at such a young age. She marveled at them for a few seconds longer and then packed up her things and began to leave.

She had to walk home because her parents were still working at this time of day. Little did she know that there was a young boy watching her from a distance, admiring her every feature. His blue eyes skimmed the blowing hem of her Ralph Lauren sports dress down to her red, white, and blue converse. He took peaks at her from his position behind the gate of the tennis court. He'd wanted to touch her that day, but it came out cold and nasty like his nonexistent heart.

He sighed, a girl as good as her would never go for an untruthful and unsentimental guy such as himself. Meanwhile, the auburn haired girl was racing back to her house. She loved being home alone! It gave her enough time to think to herself and snoop around a bit. When she'd finally reached the doorsteps of her house a voice called her from a few houses down. "Yes Mrs. Anza?"

She motioned Ami over to her house as the young girl softly cursed under her breath and walked down to her neighbor's house. "Darling, are you home alone again?" Ami cocked her head to the side and lifted an eyebrow in confusion. How could she possibly know that? "Well yes, but-"

"Surely your big sister isn't at the house with you now is she? We both know what happened the last time she was in charge. Such a useless girl." Even though the words weren't directed at Ami, they still pierced her like a knife. Amu sure was good at putting up a façade, everyone was ignorant to her pain. Ami scratched the back of her head and nervously laughed. "Well…no. I just really like to stay home alone like this. It gives me time to think." Mrs. Anza shook her head and took the gardening gloves off of her hands.

"Well, your mother called and told me to tell you that you'll be staying over here with my daughter until she comes home." Ami feigned a happy face as she entered the two story house of her neighbor. Her mother didn't need to resort to those kinds of measures to keep her safe, did she? She was almost thirteen for crying out loud! But even past that, she couldn't get past the comment her neighbor had made about Amu. _"Such a useless girl."_

Had everyone treated Amu differently after the accident? She turned to her neighbor who was preparing pink lemonade in her kitchen for the both of them to drink. Ami walked into the kitchen and sat down on one of the round chairs attached to the island. She looked at Mrs. Anza briefly and the question burning inside of her festered until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Should you judge a person after one incident and then categorize them as whatever happened that one day?" Mrs. Anza looked up from her mixing and put a finger to her chin deep thought.

"Well, I would say not really, but if a person shows you who they really are the first time then why not believe them?"

_XXX_

All of the guardians were sitting together in a circle reading through Yaya's magazines as they watched TV. They were all at Yaya's house once again in a trap to help baby-sit Tsubasa _again_. The charas were in another room probably concocting an idiotic plan that would have them all in heaps of trouble.

The girls were all reading fashion magazines full of girlish things such as dealing with crushes, and 5 steps to fitness while the guys read about simpler things like sports and cool cars. Surprisingly, Utau had also joined the party after Kukai pretty much got down on his hands and knees and begged her to stay with him. She blushed and idly flipped through the magazine as the background noises of Special Agent Oso **(kid show on Disney Channel that I don't own and I hate it)** rang through her ears.

As she flipped through the pages her jaw went slack at the model featured in the Cover Girl **(Not mine) **ad. It showed a tall, lean girl with creamy legs that went on forever and flawless skin. She donned a high cut aquamarine leotard with a smooth tan leather jacket that went perfectly with her flawless skin. The thing that shocked her the most was her vibrant bubblegum pink hair and hypnotic honey orbs. Was this the same Joker that she despised so much over the years?

She peeked from behind her magazine to see everyone else's reactions to their readings. All of their faces mirrored hers except for Rima who always had on a poker face, Kairi who was blushing ten shades of red, and…Yaya? The childish girl's face twisted up into a frown as she looked through her own magazine obviously highly upset about something. She was mad, a rare emotion for a person of her demeanor.

Kukai was the first one to break the eerie silence. "Did anyone else see this?" He overturned his magazine to reveal Amu wearing a figure hugging strapless black dress and strapped high heels next to a very expensive looking car with keys in her hand. Her hair was in a messy high top knot while she gave a modest smile in the camera. All the other guys pictures were similar to his own and the girls' own were similar to Utau's.

They all marveled at the photos in their magazines as one thought ran through their minds. She's back! They all celebrated in their minds as Utau simply shrugged it off, Rima rolled her eyes and flipped to the next page, Kairi's blush finally subsided, but Yaya…her frown never went away. She was scowling at the picture for she hated the very guts of that unworthy girl to even make an appearance after such a long leave. Anger boiled inside of her as her childish heart hardened to stone. She rose up from her spot on the couch and excused herself.

"I'm going to get something to drink."

_XXX_

_Ooh, so mysterious! So how'd you like it? I hope it's enough to satisfy your hunger for more of this story and once again I'm sorry for such a long absence. Please R&R._


	18. Chapter 18

_Hey, hey everybody! Early update, betcha weren't expecting that! So we're beginning to dig deeper into the real aspects of this story and learning more about each person that we encounter. Keep in mind everything that you read because it is vital in upcoming chapters. Here's chapter 18._

_Recap:_

_They all marveled at the photos in their magazines as one thought raced through their minds. She's back! They all celebrated in their minds while Utau simply shrugged it off, Rima rolled her eyes and flipped to the next page, Kairi's blush finally subsided, but Yaya…her frown never went away. She was scowling at the picture for she hated the very guts of that unworthy girl to even make an appearance after such a long leave. Anger boiled inside of her as her childish heart hardened to stone. She rose up from her spot on the couch and excused herself. _

"_I'm going to get something to drink."_

_XXX_

"_Amu-Chan, do you remember when I told you that you were very special to me?" _

_A nine-year-old pinkette shook her head frantically as her hair that was placed into two big bows flew into her face. Mr. Naiyabushi hadn't looked up at her yet, this was a bad sign. She was wearing a way too tight and way too short princess dress with 5 sizes too big red heels. She felt uncomfortable just being in the same room with him in this silly, outlandish appearance. _

"_So why do you continue to such naughty things?" Amu looked confused, what was he talking about? She didn't remember doing anything bad today or any other day before that. He began pulling different pieces of paper out of his pocket. She squinted her eyes to try and get a better look at whatever was in his hands. "You know if you don't listen, I could hurt your family quite severely." The pinkette shook her head no. She knew he was lying. He had to be. She was sure that Midori never told him about anything besides why she was being sent here. _

"_You're a liar. You don't know anything about my parents!" He covered her mouth with his big, burly hands and slightly shook her against his bed. His eyes were lifeless pits of ebony as she looked into them. She began to quiver with fear as his eyes went completely black with rage. She'd made him really angry. "I have all the proof right here." He flashed her the papers he'd pulled out of his pockets and threw them at her after releasing her from his iron grip on her mouth. She stared wide-eyed at the pictures he'd captured of T. Ray, Midori, Tsumugu, Tamaki, and Ami. She couldn't let them get hurt no matter how much they probably hated her. _

"_And I know just enough to know that your mother really doesn't want you to ever come back to her house. She hates you and really wishes that she'd aborted you too prevent all of this from ever happening." Her bottom lip began to quiver and tears were leaking out of her eyes like a faucet. Her nose began to run and she plopped herself down on the king size bed. "You don't mean that. You're just trying to trick me again like all those other times." He gave her a questionable look as he watched her break down into sniffles. _

"_Now Amu-Chan, why would I lie?" He shrugged his shoulders as she stared down at her lap in defeat. "If I agree to be good, will you leave them alone." He gave an evil smirk at her that made her entire body cringe. "Now that's a smart girl." He stared at her for a moment and the pinkette grew self-conscious. What was he staring at? He pounced onto her as she fell back onto the bed. "You look really pretty like that. Take your clothes off, I need to check something." He lifted off of her as she gave him a questionable look close to a full throttle breakdown. She knew what was going to happen next. She'd relived it too many times before not too know. _

"_But w-" _

"_I thought you said that you were going to be good." Amu looked at him one more time before unbuttoning her dress. "Can't scream for your useless daddy now can you?" They both glanced at each other he gave an evil smirk and Amu shot him a death glare. Amu stopped and kicked him square in the jaw. _

"_MY DADDY WOULD NEVER LET YOU TOUCH ME!" _

_Mr. Naiyabushi flew back from the impact as he rubbed his chin. "Aww sh- now you're going to get it!" He began ripping the pinkette's clothes off as she screamed and begged him to stop. She wished that she hadn't kicked him and tried to find a possible escape route instead as he forced his way inside of her. She could feel her insides crushing against the force of his own body. She screamed until her voice went hoarse and tears streamed over every part of her face. The crying was aggravating him so he turned her over on her face to suppress her screams. He could see all of the blood gushing out of her as red and white stained his bed sheets. _

_He was reaching his climax and soon enough he couldn't take it for much longer. The pinkette could feel the familiarity of the situation. It had happened years ago, but now it was all coming back like yesterday. She bit down on the pillow hoping that he was almost done. He smiled, he was enjoying the odd pleasure of forcing a child to do such things against their own will. _

_After of hours of nonstop screaming he was finally done, he lay next to her shaking body with sweat cascading down his forehead like waterfalls. He ran his fingers through her hair until she looked up. He smiled as she sniffled and her body shook violently. _

"_I'll be your new daddy."_

_XXX_

She awoke in the middle of the night with sweat beads sitting patiently on her forehead. Her asthma was beginning to act up as she hyperventilated from the horrifying nightmare that she'd just had. She wiped the perspiration from her face and grabbed her inhaler from her top drawer. She slowly maneuvered her way out of the bed being careful not to wake her charas and walked to her private bathroom. Amu flicked the switch to the bathroom and splashed water on her face.

She remembered that night like it was yesterday, she was feeling really brave that night and thought that she'd finally be able to get out of the situation on her own. Sadly, her unruly actions only made it worse and she was soon succumbing to his wants just like all the other times. She hadn't even been aware of what she'd done that day.

She clenched her fists against the bathroom sink. She should've been looking for an escape route the moment he said that she was special. Maybe then the pinkette could've spared herself the almost year long sexual abuse and rape. She lolled her head back and stared at her reflection in the mirror. What was wrong with her? She didn't try to be a bad person, she just couldn't help it. It was in her. The pinkette was beginning to think she deserved the title of the 'black cat of misfortune.'

Tears began to streak down her face, she wished that she had someone to confide in. Dr. Namine was there, but that was just his job to talk her. Amu was sure that if she wasn't one of his patients that he wouldn't waste his time with her. In her mind, she was just another goal for him. A medal saying that he could cure even the most demented of patients. She wanted so badly to break free from herself and live a normal sixteen-year-old girl's life in Japan. No one else had to think of these problems on a regular basis, did they?

She raised the inhaler to her mouth and pushed down on the button giving herself a breath after barely being able to breathe for most of the night. She remembered when she was little not being able to go outside and play with the other kids because of her severe asthma. It was so bad that her parents had to keep baby monitors in their room just to make sure that she was still alive. Amu guessed that from the beginning that she was never normal.

She slid open one of the drawers in her bathroom cabinets and spotted a shiny piece of metal underneath some of the conveniently placed hygiene products. She picked up the blade that still had dried up blood on it and felt the sleekness of the metal. She slowly began to slide the blade against her wrists and forearms as the faces of the Guardians, her charas, El's fading image, her family, Ikuto, and…the man with the leather coat and hat from the bus the other day. The pinkette never stopped cutting for a moment, but she wondered why he was even flashing through her mind at the moment. Who was he? And what was with the leather coat? When she was finished marking herself, she sterilized her cuts and quietly went to bed.

_XXX_

_It's morning again and I, like all the other times, find that I cannot relinquish myself from the troubles I have endured. I am a coward and I find that every time that I get closer to ending myself the more that the fear of myself heightens. I was drunk with worry and sober with pain. The days passed by innocently on my life and I can feel the inevitable nearing. No one is here and no one will ever be. When I dream there is always a door that shakes and rattles with a dark energy emitting from it. And every time I get close enough to twist the doorknob, my past pulls me into a world of endless nightmares and I soon forget about the door. On the rare occasions of a good night's sleep, I'll see Ikuto in them. I can see that signature smirk of his playing at the ends of his lips and his blue cat ears perking up as he chara changed. His soft midnight blue hair blew in the wind shadowing his mysterious eyes. He would embrace me in those dreams against his toned chest and soothe me in his arms. And it was only after a few months of living in the home that I realized I was in love with him and that it was far too late to try to make amends. It was those moments when I wanted him so badly and then I'd realize that he'd never feel the same for an dishonest, and a not so cute girl like me. Sometimes I wish that I could've gone back in time and realized my feelings in time and at least confessed to him before I had to leave. Maybe then it would be easier to live my life knowing that I'd told him the truth._

_XXX_

Utau's POV

It was another day of photo ops, interviews, and vocal warm-ups for me as the life of a highly acclaimed Asian singer. I sighed, this was what I always wanted, right? To be able to sing for everyone and bring them to their knees with the sound of my voice, right?

I twiddled my fingers as I lay my hands in the lap of my purple silk pajamas. "Are you troubled Utau-Chan?" I looked to my left to find Dia with her passive facial expression as usual. She stared at me with her lifeless golden orbs probably knowing exactly what I was thinking about and continuing to ask anyway. "Nothing, I'm just thinking about how today will go."

Dia gave me a pitiful look before floating back into her x-egg. I scoffed in embarrassment at Dia's scrutiny and quietly shuffled over to my bathroom to freshen up. After quickly rubbing myself down in lilac preservatives and moisturizing myself with cocoa butter, I brushed my teeth and began to dress for my appointments today. I was wearing a simple white dress with flower embroidered straps hidden under my denim blue jean jacket and tan sandals. I grabbed my two charas and slipped on my light brown Michael Kors sunglasses with a tan over-the-shoulder purse and headed out.

As I walked out of my apartment complex, my stomach growled scaring two of the nearby pedestrians that happened to pass by. I blushed and made a mental note to buy something to eat once I got to Easter. My show fir finally showed up after 15 minutes of me standing outside of my apartment looking like a hungry, lost idiot. I slid into the backseat and skimmed through some of the magazines laid out for my amusement.

As I flipped through one of the pages, I scoffed and tooted my nose in the air at the model in one of the ads. It was none other than Amu in an Express ad (Not Mine) with a figure hugging red dress and with her hand on one hip as she gave a profile view of herself. She had on red lipstick that went perfectly with her pout and her hair was curled as it blew against the many men that surrounded her. Oh Kami, who didn't she model for at this point. I was about to discard the magazine when suddenly a light bulb switched on in my head. I could show this to Ikuto and show him that Amu wasn't as good a girl as he thought and he'd quickly fall into my grasp at the sight of my purity.

I smirked the famous Tsukiyomi smirk and practically ran out of my limo when we came into view of the dreaded Easter building. I walked in the maze of a building and quickly found Ikuto's office. He'd most likely be in there lollygagging instead of doing work anyway.

"IKUTO!" I kicked his office door open and quickly felt like a blonde realizing that there was no one inside of the room. I looked around frantically until I heard giggling coming from my purse to which I gave a quick glare. When I started running down one of the corridors, I found a head full of midnight blue hair walking down with an arm full of files to tend to.

"IKUTOOOOO~!" I could see him wincing from halfway down the hall as I quickly made my way over to him. "Ikuto! Ikuto!" He rolled his eyes as Yoru simply laughed and ran off somewhere with Il. "Ikuto! Ikuto!" He turned with a deadening look on his face that could scared anyone (including me) shitless. "Utau, I'm standing right here, why are you yelling?" I flinched at his anger and took a couple steps back. When his face finally relaxed I smothered his face into the magazine I was holding onto.

"See! See! Ikuto look!" Ikuto pried my hands off his face and gave me a death glare that would've sent shivers down my spine if I wasn't so elated about my evil plan. He pried it off his face and gave a small look of surprise that quickly melted back into his usual monotone face. "Why are you showing me this?" I looked up at him quizzically, why was he so nonchalant about seeing her? "That's Amu-Chan in the magazine. Aren't you surprised? Angry? Or worried at the most?"

My brother gave me a look of sheer confusion as I reflected his emotion back. He shrugged and handed the book back over to me. "No, I've been seeing her everyday for the past two weeks." My face paled and my blood ran cold. Everyday! For the past two weeks?! I never saw him going anywhere with anybody. I hadn't realized my mouth was hanging open until I felt Ikuto's large index finger push it back into place.

"You should close your mouth or else you'll catch flies. And why are you so interested all of a sudden? I thought that you didn't like her." I regained my composure and crossed my arms. "I don't. And where have you been seeing her for the past two weeks?!" I could see him holding his temples and exhaling in exhausted breaths. He was getting pissed.

"Her dad works here, she comes everyday around four o'clock after her dance practice." My ears perked up at all the personal information he was giving me about Amu. Had they been talking more than I'd expected. More intimately even. "You sure know a lot about-"

When I finally turned around to talk to Ikuto, he was halfway down the corridor walking to the printing rooms most likely. I angrily huffed away from him with a calm Dia sleeping away in my purse. I was determined to make Ikuto mine sooner or later. Whether he liked it or not.

_XXX_

"He says we're going to the special place again. He always get a bunch of trucks for all of us to get in and then he blindfolds us until we get there. Once the blindfolds are taken off, there's a red barn where everyone has to go inside and work.

We mostly work underground to avoid the neighbors finding out about us, but when night comes that's when all of the men and women come in to buy us for the night. If we're sick, we don't get to work that night and we have to stay in the underground cellars chained to walls so it's very important to stay healthy.

But, if you're really special to Mr. Naiyabushi he'll make you his own and you have stay with him all the time and serve him. I can't tell you anymore for now, he's coming. Bye."

The line was cut off and the young policeman was left alone to his thoughts and his notes. Ever since he'd visited the hospital the other day, Mia and Suzanne had been talking to him as if they were classmates having casual conversations. Sadly, they could only call during their lunch breaks and on their way home to that wretched facility. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes trying to relax. Since the blowout between him and the chief, he no longer pulled anymore all-nighters and followed the same agenda his other squad members did.

He was sure that they all were relieved. He gathered his own information from the girls and went home to console his grieving wife. She wasn't producing enough eggs to become pregnant and it hurt her to know that she couldn't produce offspring for her husband. She stayed up most nights silently weeping while he held her hand telling her they'd be alright and they could always keep trying. But after awhile, even he stopped believing it.

The young policeman looking through the different file folders of abducted children or any other child abandoned at Tiny Houses over the past few years. As the young man was going over his work, he heard the door creak open to reveal a serious-looking Chief. The young policeman sneakily rolled his eyes and proceeded to glue his eyes to the stack of papers on his desk. The Chief had other things in mind. He slammed his fists on his desk and made half of the stack of papers flutter to the ground. The young policeman groaned as he began to collect the discarded papers.

"This is bullshit! What the hell are you trying to do here?!" The Chief was boiling with anger, there hadn't been any progress on the case in the past few days and the training officer before him was being withdrawn and nonchalant about everything. "Whatever do you mean, sir?" The young man smirked knowing that he was pushing a button as his Chief was turning fiery red and his knuckles were paste white. "You haven't been working on anything, that's what I mean!"

"But with the information I gave you the other day, you should have been able to find some kind of lead. Or are you losing your touch already, sir?" The Chief was getting more pissed by the second just by listening to his arrogant new employee. The Chief began to lean farther over the table to come face to face with the young man until he could smell the baloney sandwich he'd been snacking on earlier. "Is that what you do when you get embarrassed? Shut down and don't do anything anymore? You're a coward just like I thought." Now the Chief had hit a nerve.

The young man stood up to him and pressed his knuckles into the metal of his cubicle's desk. "Now you can call me anything that you want, but a coward isn't one of them. I work too damn hard to have anyone harassing or blackmailing me. I have a wife at home that always needs my comfort, a mother that's losing her battle with cancer, and then I come to work for this?! You better get your sorry ass the hell away from me and find another scared officer to pick at because I am not the one!"

The Chief looked flabbergasted at the new employee's anger while the young man simply smirked and continued his work. The Chief scoffed at him and then harrumphed away obviously embarrassed at his own cowardly actions. Although, the young man couldn't help rejoice, he'd stood up to that snooty old man. He'd be getting respect around here soon whether anyone wanted to admit it or not.

_XXX_

_Ooh, and another mysterious chapter for you. I hoped you liked it! Please R&R!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Oooooh, two early updates in a row! Someone's on a roll this summer. Let's see if I can keep this up. Anyway here's chapter 19._

_Recap:_

_The Chief looked flabbergasted at the new employee's anger while the young man simply smirked and continued his work. The Chief scoffed at him and then harrumphed away obviously embarrassed at his own cowardly actions. Although, the young man couldn't help rejoice, he'd stood up to that snooty old man. He'd be getting respect around here soon whether anyone wanted to admit it or not._

_XXX_

Amu's POV

It was still Saturday and the evening was seeping in on Japan with its marvelous fuchsias, oranges, and gold tainting the sky. I was currently seated in Dr. Namine's office waiting for these last fifteen minutes to be up so that I could go to Easter and see Ikuto - um, I mean…go see T. Ray. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Damn, was I hooked already? It'd be just like the last time and I'd be ready to follow him wherever he went. Oh Kami, I'm sitting here daydreaming about a boy that doesn't even like me. Or…does he? "Amu-Chan, do you have anyone besides me to confide in?" Dr. Namine's voice whacked me out of my crushing school girl's thoughts and back to reality. I put my finger to my chin deep in thought and began to think hard and long.

Well, I talked to the charas but they knew nothing about what happened to me while they were gone and my extended time withdrawn from family while I was at Tiny Houses. I'd lost my real friends a long time ago by being an idiot like always, and the Guardians weren't really up the friend department. I talked to Ikuto, but I'd count him as more of a secret lover than someone to confide in. Utau, well I'm pretty sure that the girl still hates me and my guts and wouldn't want anything to do with me if she ever saw me again. I couldn't tell anyone at dance class either including Ms. May (even if she's really nice to me) because they all hate me too. I couldn't tell anyone from my modeling agencies because that would just be another breaking news story for them. Mr. Jim was cool, but I don't think he'd ever understand the situation in its entirety. And that now leaves…my family? Hell no! I'd never tell them what goes on in my life, not that they'd care or anything, but still! I wouldn't tell them if my life depended on it.

"No, I don't."

Dr. Namine frowned at me and continued to type our conversation on his high tech computer. "Amu-Chan, I'd like for you to find someone else that you can talk to besides me about these things. You're never going to be able to fully heal if you don't confront yourself and your problems head on." I nodded my head pitifully; I needed to be better already. But after so many years of miscommunication, I stopped trying to communicate with anyone.

"Dr. Namine is it weird to have dreams about the dead." Dr. Namine tensed for a moment and then relaxed himself. Maybe he was spooked by the thought of the dead himself. "Um, that depends. What do you see in these dreams?" I began to glide the tips of my fingernails against my 'freshly painted' forearms and thought more about my hallucinating dreams. Dr. Namine prepared his hands for typing whatever I was about to say to keep it on record. "Sometimes they call me and tell me to join them on the other side…that I belong there for all the wrongdoings that I've done on Earth and that I could burn for an eternity knowing that I wouldn't harm anyone else. They tell me that I'd be better off there and that as long as I lived I had to hurt myself to refrain from hurting anyone else."

Dr. Namine's fast typing finally came to a stop and he finally looked at me. Tears were blazing my pupils and I could feel him giving me that look that everyone else gave me. That pity gaze that I hated so much. I didn't want to be pitied. I wanted to be accepted. Not another charity case like one of the kids on the Feed The Children commercials. I wanted someone to finally love me. My back was beginning to shake with sobs and my bottom lip quivered.

_You're acting like such a baby. You've known for a long time now that nobody cares, what's so different about it now?_

**Just go away you inconsiderate little bastards! I hate you!**

_But we're a reflection of you Amu-Chan; wouldn't that mean that you hated yourself? I thought that we established that years ago sweetheart._

I was a total mess now as my nose was red and my eyes were getting puffy from me crying behind my untamed curly hair. I forgot to pin it up last night and this morning I didn't flat iron it, so me and the Disney Princess Merida could be twins right about now. My sobbing was gradually getting louder until a large, masculine hand touched one of my trembling shoulders. I looked from out of my glossy eyes and saw him give me another one of those sympathetic looks. I grimaced and quickly turned my head the other way.

"For you to have dream like that under your circumstances isn't hard to imagine, I could understand why you feel that way because of what's happened in your past. And I can also tell that that's the reason you cut so much. Y'know the more frequently this happens I'll have to send you back to the psych ward." Dr. Namine pushed my hair back from my face and rolled back the sleeves of my sweat jacket and rubbed his thumb against my forearms to reveal recent and healing scars.

"Makeup can't hide everything Amu-Chan. It'll never hide the pain inside that you've felt all these years. And you never leave your scars alone long enough to let them heal." I felt something snap inside me and rose up from my seat in rage.

"I don't let them heal because my scars define me! They're just like me. When they're open they let out things they don't mean to and end up hurting others, so they close themselves off and fade away until you can't see them anymore. Don't you understand me?!"

_XXX_

Ran, Miki, and Suu were all floating next to me as I walked 5 blocks all the way to Easter. I was too upset to sit and wait on the bus so I walked to burn off some steam. I was hiding my tearstained face behind designer black shades and puffy, curly hair. I was sniffling the entire walk and worrying the charas. "Amu-Chan are you alright? Please just tell us what happened." Ran was nestled in my bird's nest of hair nagging about why I was crying earlier the whole time. I know she's worried, but does she have to be so annoying with it?

"Ran, there's no need to nag Amu about what's wrong. When she's feeling better she'll tell us, I'm sure of it." I smiled at Miki as I reminisced on why I loved her so much. She was always a considerate, level-headed person who didn't badger you about things you didn't want to talk about. On days like this, I was really glad that I got her back. I don't know what I would've done without her.

"Amu-Chan, are we going to Easter?" I looked up from out of my shades and up at Miki. I nodded my head slowly and watched her cheeks tint pink. I smirked and reached up on my head to tickle her stomach. "Mmmm, looks like someone's really excited to see Yoru." Miki's blush grew bigger as she scoffed and folded her arms. Typical Miki. "N-no I'm n-not! A-and anyway, aren't you just as excited to see Ikuto!" Now it was my time to blush. I was really excited to see him even after my mini breakdown in Dr. Namine's office.

We all laughed together happily walking down the bustling streets even if I was getting weird glances from everyone that passed by. When we finally made it into Easter, there was a deadening silence consuming the building. Even more than usual. You'd usually hear the faint sounds of printers and fax machines being used, or the migraine-inducing smells of coffee that slowly destroyed your sense of smell **(sorry, I hate coffee and its smell)**, or even the sounds of people's footsteps. Today there was none.

I quietly shuffled my way to T. Ray's office remembering every detail of finding my way there thanks to Ikuto's embarrassing encounters. Now that I'm thinking about it, where is Ikuto? He's usually lurking the corridors by now teasing me for being so clueless. "Eh, why is it so deserted in here desu~?" Much like the rest of us, Suu was completely awed by the eerie silence of the building. Even Miki, the most level-headed chara, was becoming frantic.

"I'm getting scared Amu-Chan, hurry up and open the door!"

"I think I hear footsteps Amu-Chi! Hurry!"

With Ran, Miki, and Suu rushing me while scaring me half to death, I could barely hold the key upright in my hand. My hair was being yanked by them because they were hiding and shielding themselves in it and my palms were getting clammy with the steps drawing closer. Just when I got key to fit inside of the lock a familiar husky voice called out my name.

"Amu."

_XXX_

Ikuto's POV

"But Ikuto! I never get to see you anymore and when I do we barely get to talk. Please just go on tour with me or even to one of my concerts at least! Ikuto! Ikuto! Are you even listening to me?! Ikuto!" I sighed and quickly turned around to fax some papers for Kazuomi. Utau was currently in the printing room pissing me off with all of her whining and attempts at touching me. I quickly evaded her hug attacks, but she seemed way more persistent today. Ever since she brought me that magazine with Amu's picture in it, her brother complex has been getting worse. I shuddered just thinking about what she tried to do to me this morning.

"No Utau. I have to stay here and work for Kazuomi, you know that already." I could feel her pouting from behind me and rolled my eyes as I slipped stacks of paper into the copy machine. Why is she even here? Doesn't she have appointments today? "But Ikutooo! Can't you just try and come to one. I can try to compromise with Kazuomi some type of schedule. Won't you at least try for me Ikuto?"

Utau began snaking her arms around my waist and pressing her face into my back. I could feel the slightest amount of moistness of tears through my cotton button-down shirt. I quickly shook her off of me and picked up another stack of papers to put into the fax machine. With so many machines beeping at once, I could barely keep track of which machine to go to. Too bad they couldn't drown out the annoying whines of Utau in my ears.

"Ikuto! Ikuto! You're still not listening! Ikuto!" I winced; her shrill yells were piercing my eardrums like killer bees. Then my cat ears popped up and I could hear faint voices and footsteps close by. They were coming closer and soon enough Utau's voice was drowned out by the footsteps that I heard. "I sense guardian characters." Yoru perched himself onto my shoulders and listened closely to the shuffling footsteps with me. The footsteps gradually grew louder as I neared a left corner and soon my own footsteps were heard over the mystery person's own. When I turned the corner of the corridor, I found a familiar head of pink hair shaking with a key in her hand. She looked like she was having a hard time unlocking the door.

I smirked and stood up from my crouching position. "Amu." She slowly turned her head to show her deep crimson blush. _That's my girl_, I thought. I walked over to her and turned the key in the keyhole of the doorknob. She blushed and walked in with me behind her. "H-Hi." I smirked; she could never make eye contact with me at times like these. I slipped my hands into my pockets and came down to eye level with her.

"Hey."

Her whole body cloaked itself in red and she stumbled back on the floor trying to get away from me. Her charas floated out of the room giggling amongst themselves with Yoru following right behind them. I laughed and held my hand out to help her up. _Still a klutz_, I thought. She shyly grabbed my hand and lifted herself up. She was still the girl that I remembered from 7 years ago. She groaned as she got back up and as she looked up at me I could see the faintest streaking of tears staining her cheeks. I didn't mention it though.

"Uh Ikuto, why isn't there anyone here? I mean isn't there usually more noise?"

"Their checking out landscaping for where they'll have the conjoint building if this contract goes nicely. I think they're buying land by the by the sea somewhere. Bad idea if you ask me. Tsunamis can pop up at anytime and cats don't prefer water." She giggled and her face glowed with the brightness of a child on Christmas morning. I reached out to touch her tendrils of curly hair.

"Your hair…"

She Pulled back and held the strand of hair I was holding in her hand. "Yeah umm, I forgot to pin it up last night and this morning I-" I walked up to her again and held a strand of her hair in my hand. Her jaw held itself in place from her shock. "No…I like it like this." She blushed and stared down at her feet.

"Do you know when they're coming back?"

"About eight, why?" She twiddled her fingers and shuffled her feet again. "Because I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere…sometime…with me." I smirked and lifted her chin up so she'd look straight up at me. "Tomorrow we can go somewhere. They'll be gone like this for the next two weeks." She blushed and sheepishly nodded to my request.

"I'll see you soon." I slyly kissed her cheek catching her by surprise. I could see her out of my peripheral vision blushing beet red.

"Y-Yeah. I'll see you soon."

_XXX_

The murky skies were setting on the rosette's heaven as she rocked back and forth on her porch swing. So many things she didn't get to say, so many things she didn't get to do, and so many that she could never decide on her own. She has so many regrets about leaving Earth that the impact of her death still hasn't settled in. The rosette frowned down at the souls lingering down on Earth.

They lingered amongst the living trying to find ways to say goodbye and come to terms with their own deaths. But no matter how much she wanted to be able to get closer to Amu, she had to leave her be and get over herself. She couldn't make others suffer because of her own selfishness. She had to move on and she was trying pretty damn hard too. Miyu smiled as her eyes cast down towards Amu who was freaking out in her bedroom at T. Ray's.

She was flushed and Ran, Miki, and Suu were all doubled over in laughter. For once in a long time she actually looked happy. Amu the Airhead she used to call her. The rosette knew she hated it but she'd never get angry if she said it. She never took things to heart like that like she does now. The rosette placed her knee under her chin in a fetal position with her arms wrapping around one leg while the other kept her porch swing rocking.

So many things raced through her mind at the moment. Her family's tragic downfall, the secret she never lived to tell, and the hill hiding the sunset of her heaven. The old woman had told her on many occasions what that hill meant for her. It showed the obstacles that you've overcome to finally be able to accept death and once you crossed over you would find others that made a recovery after they'd realized their own destinies. You'd find an eternity of everlasting peace free from the worries of the living and be able to move on in life. Miyu crammed herself into a ball and cringed at the thought. She wasn't ready for those types of things yet. She wasn't supposed to be dead yet, she was still supposed to be one of the living.

She looked down towards the people down on Earth and took heed of the souls lingering behind them. She shook her head harshly and leaped off of the porch swing. No! She refused to become one of them. She refused to not be able to be happy for the rest of her life. No matter how long it took her to achieve that. It was dark now and the sun had set on her small plot of heaven. She could hear the old woman creeping around the house in her fuzzy slippers lighting candles and lanterns like she always did before bed.

She said it kept the evil out and healed the soul of impurities. The rosette pouted and turned towards the screen door of the log cabin. Maybe that was why it was so easy for this woman to accept her own death. The rosette held herself in her own arms and sighed, she figured that there could be no salvation for someone who couldn't agree with Kami's mysterious ways of working his way through a person's life.

"Miyu dear, it's time to come in. The sun's already set and it's getting late."

The rosette pursed her lips and made her way into the house. Tonight would be another one filled with the darkness of her mind consuming memories and horrendous nightmares eating away at her soul.

_XXX_

_Awww, their going on a date next chapter how sweet. I wonder what Utau will do next and when are the Guardians and Amu going to meet up?! The suspense is killing me! And don't worry lovely readers, as you've requested, drama will ensue at their little reunion. Goodnight readers! R&R :D_


	20. Chapter 20

_Hey guys! Looks like I have another early update for you. Aren't you just as excited as I am! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope that you enjoy reading it. Here's chapter 20. _

_Recap: _

_The rosette pursed her lips and made her way into the house. Tonight would be another one filled with the darkness of her mind consuming memories and horrendous nightmares eating away at her soul._

Amu's POV

"Ten fouettes transitioning into 3 pirouettes. Pas de chat on your left and right, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Fall to the floor dramatically and rise into releve. Tilt, tilt, tilt! Point your feet! Gahh! Where's your face? Use your emotions! You're not giving me anything today, what's wrong?"

It was another day of dance practice with Ms. May. I was getting private lessons for my classical ballet solo this week for competition. We weren't going anywhere really far, it was just in the next town over. These were the times when I missed America the most; you had more places to travel to. I wasn't focusing on anything today and it was noticeable to everyone.

Mr. Jim practically yelled at me the entire morning for not paying attention at auditions and the casting agents weren't too fond of me either. None of that mattered though, I had a date with Ikuto and nothing was going to change that.

"There's just a lot on my mind is all Ms. May. I'm sorry." Ms. May shook her head and shooed me away with her hand. "It's ok. Practice is over." For the first time in a long time, I skipped out of dance practice happily. Everyone that I passed by gave me odd glances and "_What the heck_" looks, but I smiled knowing what I was so happy for.

_XXX_

I ran all the way home not bothering to catch the bus because I was too excited to sit down for long. I was in my own world skipping over rainbows and performing aerials over large hills. We were going on a date! Finally! After years of daydreaming about this it was finally happening! Although, in my imagination he'd asked me and we'd ride away on flying horses into a beautiful sunset, but that didn't matter.

My toes were tingling, there were butterflies in my stomach, and pure joy was making my body react on its own. I'd finally jiggled the keys around enough to unlock the front door and sprinted inside past my brother Tamaki, my sidekick photographer cousin Andre (**they have American names because they're not from Japan**), and my older cousin Jennifer who I swear strives to make my life miserable.

Even before Miyu died she always ridiculed me endlessly about anything that she could think of, like how my hair was pink. I could never understand that because her hair was cherry red and Miyu, her little sister, had fuchsia red hair. Sometimes she'd even refer to me as a half-breed because Midori was of Japanese descent and T. Ray was of Colombian-American descent. She'd tell me how I'd never be able to fit in with anyone because I'd never be able to rationalize who or what I was (which I found to be very true once I got older). I missed Miyu so much; she'd always stand up for me. I never had a backbone to defend myself.

I frowned for a second then quickly smiled again. I had a date with Ikuto for Pete sake! The love of my life agreed to go out with me and I was sitting around trying to mope. I scurried down the hallway and into my room making a beeline towards my closet. Miki popped out of her blue spade egg watching me rummage through my closet for the perfect outfit. I heard her giggling and I quickly whipped my head around to glare daggers at her.

"Amu-Chan do you want me to prepare an outfit for you?"

"No."

I was shocked at my own bluntness. It's not that I didn't want her to help me; it's just that I wanted to try and pick an outfit out by myself for tonight. It was special and I wanted to try for Ikuto. I looked over my shoulder to a hurt Miki silently cursing myself. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. I just want to be able to do this myself to make it more special." Miki nodded sympathetically and flew over to my closet pointing at one of the hangers.

"Since you don't know where you're going or how he's going to dress, you should choose something simple like this." I placed my hand on the hanger Miki was pointing at and picked it up to reveal a strapless high-low dress with a jumper-shaped slip sewn inside. The sheer fabric of the dress flowed down the back of my legs and stopped at mid-thigh length in the front showing my long, lean legs.

Dancing seven days a week for six hours a day really pays off. I smiled at Miki's keen taste in fashion as she searched through my endless rack of shoes. A girl can never have too many pairs of shoes can she? Miki pushed forward a pair of silver Michael Kors sandals and gave me a once-over thinking of how it would look all together.

"You don't want to be dressed up for the date so you should take precautionary actions and wear sandals. Plus, you're on the tall side of the scale so you want to be extra careful." I nodded and quickly discarded my dance sweat suit and leotard slipping into the dress and sandals. I looked into my personal full body mirror and smiled. I looked kind of nice. Miki smiled and brought over two silver oval earrings and a small silver necklace.

"For an extra touch of glamour."

I quickly inserted the earrings into my earlobes while Miki locked the necklace around my neck. Ran and Suu quickly emerged from their eggs with a popping sound and marveled at me. "Waah, Amu-Chi looks amazing!" I'll help with the lip gloss!" Ran raced over to my bathroom and ransacked the drawers looking for my lip gloss wile Miki curled my hair and Suu applied makeup to my arms. "I'll braid it down and then put a moisturizer on it to give it a more natural look. Just the way Ikuto likes it, huh?" I blushed and swatted at Miki while Suu giggled.

"You guys were actually listening?!"

I was squeezing Miki to death embarrassed that she even heard a bit of our conversation. "Yeah, it was kind of hard to miss desu~. And you fell back and made a loud thud. Does your butt still hurt desu~?"

"It shouldn't! She has too much cushion back there to feel anything!" Ran finally made it out of the bathroom just in time to add onto the teasing ring they started. I chased them all around my room flustered as they laughed at my antics. This was going to be a long night.

_XXX_

Ikuto had finally arrived at T. Ray's house to pick Amu up. Before the summer started, they visited his house when Kazuomi and T. Ray first debated over the joint contract. It was a nice light blue three story house. The neighborhood's ambiance was nice too and he had a good dozen and a half acres of land.

Ikuto honked the horn of his dark blue Lexus when he saw Amu's head pop out of one of the window curtains. She smiled with her mile deep dimples, high cheekbones, and perfect white teeth. He smiled and waved back at her nervously with pink tinting his cheeks. He made his way out of the driver's seat and stood next to the passenger's side door when his jaw nearly dropped.

She looked beautiful.

Her hair was done to perfection with naturally curled ends and straight roots, the dress she was wearing showed off her U-Turn curves and wide hips that sprouted into her long legs. He'd never noticed it until now that he was an ass man because hers poked out just enough to grab and he could only imagine what he'd do after that.

Damn, with a simple mixture of the right amount of hormones, good genes, and dance practice sure could benefit a person. He opened the door making sure to sneak a quick glance at her ass before closing her door. He shook his head and cleared himself of perverted thoughts trying to return to gentleman mode.

He scanned over his slacks and button-down shirt. Casual work apparel. He then glanced back over at Amu who looked like she was ready for a photo op. Damn she looked good. If it wasn't for the incoming traffic, he would've spent the next hour ogling at her.

"So, where are you taking me?" Ikuto looked over at her and smirked at her smiling face. "It's a surprise." She giggled and shook her head leaning on the window.

_XXX_

They spent the next twenty minutes speaking of any and everything that came to mind. When they finally arrived to their destination, Ikuto slipped out of the driver's seat to open the door again for Amu. Who said chivalry was dead? They walked in through the doors of the upscale restaurant and Amu gasped.

The lights were dimly lit to give it a late night lover's appeal to it. There were musicians on stage playing orchestral instruments like the cello, the French horn, and the clarinet. Waiters lined up at the door to assist and guide them to their seats. They sat down and the pinkette marveled at everything. Ikuto laughed and Amu flushed bright red.

That's when Amu noticed something she hadn't before. It was empty.

"No one else is here." Ikuto nodded and Amu continued to scan the room. "Yeah, I bought out the place for the night." Amu turned towards Ikuto shell shocked. He reserved all this for her? "Ikuto you didn't have t-"

"No, I wanted to." He was reaching to touch her hand sending her heart into a tizzy. She was saved by the waiter that came over to pour drinks into their glasses. She was surprised by the choice of beverage poured into her cup. "Wine? Aren't we a bit under aged to be drinking?" Ikuto laughed again at the girl before him. She really hadn't changed at all.

"Well the restaurant is a bit upscale. Would you have preferred apple juice instead?" The sarcasm laced in his voice didn't go undetected by Amu. She playfully scowled at him and laughed along with him. "Shut up. I might."

As they chatted on and on casually they were oblivious to a disguised and fuming Utau standing outside of the restaurant window watching them. She clenched her fists and walked away.

**Later That Night**

Ikuto pulled into the driveway of T. Ray's Japanese summer home still talking with Amu. She exhaled heavily and turned to Ikuto with a genuine smile. "I had fun tonight." Ikuto sighed in relief; he was equally happy with the date and was hoping that she was too. "Me too." She leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. Who says guys always make the first move?

He flushed bright pink and she smiled to herself. "Thanks for everything tonight." She began unlocking the car door and walking over to her front door. "Amu…" She turned around to him and smiled again.

"So…I'll see you soon?"

The pinkette nodded and beamed at him again. "I'll see you soon." Ikuto mentally cheered and then backed out of the driveway.

**The Next Day**

Utau's POV

Being mad was an understatement.

I was infuriated! How dare that hussy come back into Ikuto's life and tread marks over everything that I've built up to these past seven years! And Ikuto was just as naïve, he actually took her on a date. And not just on any old date may I add, he just had to take her to some upscale Japanese restaurant on the other side of town. I almost barfed when I saw those two making goo-goo eyes at each other.

Ikuto never looked at me like that or complimented me about my hair. I mean what was so good about hers?! She looked like a Raggedy Ann doll gone wrong! If she thinks she's going to take Ikuto away from me that easily then she's got another thing coming for her. I snapped out of my ranting thoughts when my phone started to ring the tune of 'Here's To Never Growing Up' by Avril Lavigne.

"Hello," I snapped.

"Whoa…is this a bad time? I'll call back later," said the voice. I immediately regretted my tone when I answered the phone. "No, it's not," I apologized, "I was just thinking about something."

"Well, when you're done thinking can you make your way over to the ramen shop? All of us are already here." I snickered and agreed to come. This would be a good time to sabotage Amu. I slipped on a white flower embroidered tunic, Aeropostale blue jeans, and pink jelly sandals. I packed my eggs into my Betsey Johnson purse and headed out the door. The ramen shop was just a few blocks shy of my apartment giving me just enough time to avoid paparazzi and adoring fans.

Before I knew it, I was crossing the bridge and was standing in front of the local ramen shop. I didn't bother to go incognito because I just really wanted to eat right now. I received awestruck stares as I entered the building and a few even held out their napkins for me to autograph. I rolled my eyes and sat next to the biggest goofball on the face of the Earth, Kukai Souma. Can't remember how we met, but I think the kid has a serious crush on me. He grinned from ear to ear when he saw me and I almost blushed.

"Settle down everyone. Utau Hoshina is here as a customer today, not a celebrity. Please treat her as a regular person while she's here." Moans and groans vibrated against the walls of the ramen shop as fans frowned and settled down into their seats. I stifled a laugh and turned to the manager, thanking him with a small nod. He smiled and walked over to me and Kukai wringing his hands.

"And what can I get for two of my best customers?" Kukai grinned and ordered two bowls of ramen. "Will that be all?" he asked. "Wait," I said and the manager turned around, "can he serve it?" I pointed at the guy I'd seen the last time that I was eating here with Sanjou. The manager smiled and nodded at me. "Sure, you like him? He's pretty popular here. A lot of girls have been asking for him to serve them." I looked over at the guy again and squinted my eyes trying to find out why he looked so familiar.

"Yeah…" I turned to the side and for a second and I swear I could see a hint of jealousy in Kukai's eyes. Maybe I was just looking too fast. While we waited, I could hear the guardian characters chatting amongst themselves. And just as if this girl hadn't ruined my life enough, guess who the topic of their conversation was? **Amu**.

"Yeah, yeah and her hair is really long and pretty." If I hear one more comment about her hair I am going to scream. "Mmhmm and she bought some food from that gourmet bakery and gave us some and told us about her travels back and forth from America and back to Japan. I'm surprised we never saw her before." The Guardians and I all turned our attention towards the friendly chattering of the charas. She was traveling back and forth to America all this time? Wow.

"Yeah, and she's traveled all over Europe, small parts of Africa, and even a bit of South America for modeling shoots. Waah, Amu-Chan's so cool!" Kusukusu was practically overjoyed just informing everyone else about Amu. They talked about her so familiarly, like they were long lost friends or something.

"You guys saw Amu-Chan? When was this?" Tadase cocked his head over towards the direction of their conversation. All the charas simultaneously sweat dropped as their character bearer's attention set towards them. "U-huh, funny story you see, he he. When we slipped from the house the other day we went on a search for her because Kusukusu said she saw her at the bookstore with Rima-Chi the other day. Yeah, and um, we just started floating around aimlessly until we found her."

Pepe laughed nervously with her pacifier still in her mouth while explaining to a seething Yaya and a curious Tadase what happened the other day. Rima was choking the last bits of Kusukusu's life out at the opposite end of the table. "I keep telling you to stop sneaking off all the time and here you go sneaking off again," Rima whisper-yelled.

Kusukusu was coughing up her soul trying to explain to Rima. "C-Can't…breathe…let go…Rima-tan! I'm…sorry!" Rima finally let Kusukusu go while the rest of the guardians laughed. Il popped out of her egg and walked across the counter cockily. "I see Amu-Chan everyday at Easter." Their mouths dropped to the floor. They were probably thinking how their "precious Amu" could possibly even be associated with Easter.

I leaned back in my chair and suppressed a giggle. If I knew they were this gullible, I would've deceived them years ago. They were like putty in my hands. "Yeah, and I think she works there too," I bluntly stated. I smirked to myself, sometimes Il could be such a big help. Maybe she wasn't as useless as El.

"But I thought her d-" I clamped Il's lips together and shoved her far behind me. Forget what I just said. She was just as useless as El. I locked her back into her egg before she foil anymore of my future plans and looked to the expressions of the Guardians.

For the most, they all looked like they were in despair excluding the dwarf girl who just rolled her eyes and the sugar induced girl who kept crunching her face in disgust. I ignored her and gloated in my own triumph. Majority rules and I had all of them fooled.

_XXX_

"Bye Ami-Chan!"

"Goodbye everybody!" Ami was concluding her first hour kids from their session of tennis practice. Their playing was coming along and soon enough they'd be able to play with the bigger kids. She grabbed her towel and her water bottle to go in for a break when she spotted the peculiar blonde boy watching her through the wires of the fence. The brunette rolled her eyes and headed out of the gates.

She walked around the fences to scold him when he held out his hand for her to shake. She blushed and then fumed flames. Oh, so _now_ he wanted to shake her hand. "Why are you here?" He put his hands down seeing that he wasn't going to get a handshake and threw them into his pockets.

"To see you."

Ami blushed and looked back at the odd boy. He wasn't laughing or joking, not that she ever saw him do it, but he did seem serious. "_Right_ and I am the queen of England." He sighed and hung his head low noticing her icy sarcasm. _You reap what you sow_, he thought. "I'm not kidding; I really come here to see you."

Ami scoffed and thrashed her head to the side. _The nerve of this kid_, she fumed. "How do I know you're not really some creepy thirty-year-old man with a hormonal impairment trying to kidnap me? Or better yet, trying to get one of my students, huh?" The blonde boy sighed in defeat. There was just no convincing this girl.

"My name is Hikaru Gozen, I'm twelve-years-old and I go to a normal school by the name of Seiyo. I'm not a creeper and I come here to see you every day. We've been in the same classes since third grade and I like you Ami-Chan." Ami blushed beet red at the severely honest boy before her.

Really?! Since the third grade?! She'd never noticed him before and all of a sudden he liked her? Ami composed and turned away walking towards the break room of the tennis club. "You still don't believe me, do you?" Ami turned back towards him and smirked.

"Smart and cute, you're just the total package aren't you?"

**Later That Day**

Ami was at Ms. Anza's house again and thank Kami she was smart enough to take one of Amu's books with her this morning. She sprinted upstairs to the guestroom and closed the door giving her privacy. It had been a few days since she'd been able to read one of the books and she was going through heavy withdrawal. She sighed happily when she finally opened the book to somewhere in the middle of it and began to read it.

_I remember looking at one of Midori's pictures that morning and it gave me hope. Her nice medium-length straight hair was curled like Farah Fawcett's and her pretty light eyes gave the expression of 'don't take this picture,' but she took it anyway. Her thin lips were spread into a small grin and I could feel her happiness springing through the picture into my heart. I slid my fingers against my full lips and pouted. I wanted to be beautiful just like her. My hair was nowhere near straight and my lips were as big as flying saucers. I went to school the next morning dreaming of being a beautician. I wanted to help other girls feel pretty since I'd never been called a pretty girl once. I walked up to my literature teacher's desk and told her how I'd cut her hair into a nice asymmetrical bob and put a few streaks of gold in it. "Amu don't even insult yourself like that," she said, "you're too smart to be doing someone's hair for a living. That's someone that you'll need when you become a famous writer slash model. Pfft, a hair dresser, don't be silly Amu." For the first time, I had hope for a future. And finally, someone had called me pretty. Kind of, but it still counted to me. Though it wasn't from a person that I would've preferred, I accepted it anyway knowing that it would be the only compliment I'd get in a lifetime. I felt confident in myself for a while until we switched classes again and the girls standing at their lockers stopped to stare at me like I was some freak of nature. Not that I wasn't, but it still made me uncomfortable with them staring at me. You could always tell the girls who had their mothers in their lives apart from the ones who didn't. Their hair was always nice and neat and their clothes were always cute and trendy. I had 3 sizes too big hand-me-downs on and my shoes were wearing out from so many different uses. I tried to ignore them by biting the insides of my cheeks until they bled and digging my nails right into my palms until they stung and blood trickled down my hands. I hated their stares and I knew they were talking about me. From my flat chest down to my stupid clothes they'd all tease me. When I got to class I always excused myself and asked to go the nurse's office. I'd always lay down in there for the rest of the period bawling my eyes out. The nurses knew that I wasn't sick, but they let me stay anyway. They were aware of what was going on._

_XXX_

_Ooh, so how'd you like it? I wasn't really sure with the Hikaru and Ami shipping, but I sure wasn't going to insert that wannabe Amu girl Rikka into my story so that's what I got. Plus, I think it'll go well with what's going to happen later in this story. Please R&R for more! Oh, and before I forget special shout outs to AmuxIkutolover for such a long review and pegacornzrule for giving me like three reviews in one day. And for the last minute review by magi97, it'll be confusing now because, like Amu, the story is slowly opening up to the events of her past. Ami is not allowed to talk Amu as told in early chapters because of the incident and avoids her at all costs to please her mother. Thanks! I appreciate the love!_


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